OK, OK, I get it. We’re totally screwed in the future. SPOILER ALERT: “Soylent Green is people!!!” Oops. Wrong movie. Anyway, as good as these films look with all those fancy effects and enotional performances, it’s turning into a parade of “We’re DOOOOOOMED!” cinema, which for my dime, was done better back in the days of cheaper and campier “B” flicks. Don’t get me wrong, folks – I like watching these films from time to time, but it seems that Hollywood LOVES to follow trends and run them into the ground to an overly numbing degree. Of course, try telling that to the masses who end up plopping down the cost of a movie ticket on a regular basis to see these similar flicks and you’ll probably catch a popcorn bucket to the head…
Heh. OK, this disaster comedy whatever is probably going to do a ton of business when it hits theaters on June 12, but I know there are some who just want Hollywood to break off and float away into the ocean. I’m not one of those folks, mind you, but I do wish these writers and other creative types could come up with something a good deal more original than retreading Irwin Allen flicks and adding more modern humor and celebrities I could care less about if they did fall into a hole somewhere in real life. Eh, I’ll catch this on cable when it pops up in… let’s say January of February of next year. Er, provided we’re still here and not sucking down atomic dust from a few of those “now they’ve got a decent range!” North Korean missiles. Duck and cover, indeed…
I actually liked District 9 quite a lot, as its one of those effects films that activates that sense of wonder and keeps it awake thanks to a director and technical team that wants you to buy into the reality they’ve created. Given Neill Blomkamp’s involvement in the cancelled Halo film project (and his work on those ads for one of the games), I’d say that whomever canned that project are very likely kicking their own asses around a few offices these days. Anyway, His new film, ELYSIUM looks outstanding and worth running over to the nearest theater to check out when it lands on August 9, 2013. Yeah, you get two versions of the trailer because I’m impressed. And oh yeah – no jokes about Matt Damon being even MORE robotic than normal (ha ha – I thought of it first!).
Hey, humor an old man and I’ll let you walk on my lawn if you’re in the neighborhood. Usually, it’s mined and well-guarded by armored attack squirrels, so consider yourselves lucky…
I guess a post title like “In Case Of Emergency, BREAK GLASS. Slash Wrists With GLASS” is too extreme, huh? Anyway, the film is doing as I thought, as in fine with most horror fans and OK to so-so with critics who don’t quite see what the fuss is about or worse, go in with Cabin in the Woods expectations. Whatever. I didn’t like Cabin that much (despite it doing some fun things with the genre), the SCREAM movies annoyed me (again, some fun stuff, but overrated AND too many sequels) and don’t even get me started on those “found footage” flicks where someone has an old video camera with the battery life of a Galaxy Note III. Yeah, you Blair Witch Project. That ending was freaky, but I didn’t feel the least bit frightened by the rest of the film (and I’ve seen it three times just to make sure).
Hmmm… I don’t believe in “ghosts” either, so Paranormal Activity made me laugh at the people in the theater jumping at flying sheets or whatever. And as for The Exorcist? The hospital scenes were FAR scarier than any of that head spinning possessed crap. Which means the more superstitious you are, the least likely your survival odds will be when that ASPCA truck full of black cats tips over near that outdoor mall sale on ladders and mirrors which will get your heart racing before some kid running out of that mall in his 90% off Halloween costume (he’ll be a ghost or the devil) puts you down for the count. Welcome to your nightmare!
OK, maybe I’m too much of a curmudgeon here, but I won’t tell you what NOT to watch as it’s up to you where you eat your popcorn at the end of the day…
OK, I liked the first one because it was insanely silly and serious in that weird way (sort of like the love child of Scorcese, Apatow and Hal Ashby), but a sequel? Really? Yeesh. Granted, this trailer did make me laugh a little bit, but I’m also getting a Hangover from these serio-comedies that some studios keep feeling the need to give new installments. Sometimes, meeting a certain type of person ONCE in a lifetime is more than enough, I say. Hell, at this rate that In Bruges sequel should be rolling up at a theater near you in oh, about six months or so. By the way, that’s a big in-joke considering how that film ended. Go check it out if you haven’t – it’s absolutely NOT for all tastes, but it’s pretty damned hilarious if you’re an adult with a decent sense of humor who knows every movie isn’t a mirror to actual events…
Amusingly enough, this trailer from the upcoming Carrie remake has actually been criticized a bit too harshly for basically spoiling the entire film even more so than most other genre flick trailers. While this may indeed be true, it’s actually just copying the same marketing from the 1976 original, which by the way, WORKED fine in filling seats way back then. Check out both (look up! Look down!) and see what I’m babbling about.
Granted, Brian De Palma’s film was probably a great deal more shocking back then this remake will be seen as when it hits theaters, but we’ll see if the actors in the new film can deliver performances as memorable as those in the original. As always, class… we shall see… we shall see…
Soooo… I just now decided to poke around and peek at some early reviews and impressions and… *ding!* it looks as if it’s up…. annnnnnd… it’s good! Actually, that Redband trailer had me convinced a while ago (although I wasn’t going to do a silly reaction video at all) – particularly the part with the knife and tongue (eek!). Anyway, go see this one if you want to jump all around the theater holding the arm of the person next to you as a handy club. They’ll miss that arm only for the few seconds it takes them to bleed out, but at least you have a weapon now.
OF COURSE… the problem with all this over-hype is will the actual film scare anyone who hasn’t been all over the internet gobbling up every trailer, screen capture, feature, cast interview and so forth and so on? The original film and its more comedy-focused sequel were memorable to me because they came out of nowhere as “Midnight” movies without a ton of fanfare. I still recall seeing the trailer and initially being freaked out by it back in the day and I think there was even a brief commercial for the original film popping up very late at night that was pretty effective in a “Oh, I really don’t want to see that, but…” manner. I ended up not being that scared at all by the original film because of what I considered too much hype back in the day, so this new version didn’t get my attention until I noted how it took a more serious angle to things, which works well from what I’ve seen.
Now, every big genre film gets SO much attention that it’s hard to be surprised because you’ve seen half the film on TV or the internet or it’s one of those smaller flicks that’s too weird to show much of and eventually turns out to be less frightening and more disgusting (Yeah, YOU, Human Centipede 2). Eh, as always… we shall see. Except you with the missing arms out there. You’re all dead (but you just might come back for the inevitable sequel)…
… Oh, just they all WAIT until they have to start paying back those student loans. Mua-ha-ha-ha-haaaaa! Yeah, who’s REALLY peeing their pants NOW, huh? I bet some of your parents will be watching you scream in this video and wonder if that’s all the hell you did for four (or more) years. Damn kids. OK, maybe I’m jealous that I never get invited to these screenings like the over-privileged youth of to-day. Bleh. All kidding aside, I’m glad this reboot is freaking people out, as it makes me want to see it sooner than later. THAT said, I’ll probably stick it out for the Blu-Ray set with all those juicy behind the scenes bits, as I just hate leaving the theater thinking I’m missing something. Then again, a few pints of pee are never missed and I won’t need to bring a change of underwear to the theater. Or something like that. April 5, people. Go get in line somewhere and defend that spot with your lives. I have the feeling that if you don’t go see this movie… it will come looking for you.
Hmmm… Shouldn’t it be “College Screening Reaction”? That sounds more correct (and I never went to college!)
That’s because the damn house is HAUNTED, Fats. Nasty ol’ evil Book of the Dead ring any bells for you? No? Hmmm… let me explain it a bit better in English: Get the h-e-l-l off that damn piano and make a run for the door, big man.
OK, I’m not one for ridiculous over-hype, but this flick just may be worth the bother to drag my tired butt down to the local cinema to catch. I keep flipping the usual mental coin about more and more movies and usually (since I use a two-headed coin) I end up waiting for the cable premiere. As my LAST coin toss saw my trick quarter fly out a window never to be seen again, I have to judge things more like everyone else. So far, it’s been going well, so we’ll see how this turns out. I have no huge expectations going into this, but I just may pack a pair of extra underwear and pants just in case…
While this is a great looking trailer, I just KNOW there’s a collective “OK, which M. Night are we getting this time, folks?” rumbling all around the internet. Let’s see now, there’s “The clever twist you didn’t see coming!” one from his earlier works or the “Toss it all in a pot with a twist ending you don’t quite appreciate!” from a few films that some audiences didn’t “get” at all? Well, at least this upcoming film hits the right marks as far as its trailer nailing the popular sci-fi, future ruined earth and CG-packed action scenes stuff. We’ll have to see how well the father and son Smith team do here, as the trailer doesn’t make it clear whether dad is alive or dead after that horrific crash. I’m thinking that’s one twist, but as usual… we shall see…
"DESTROY ALL FANBOYS!" 