And you thought YOU hated Mondays? Well, imagine being some poor underemployed Shadow who can’t even have the satisfaction of having a job to get to on a Monday morning just to hang out at the water cooler and whine about how last weekend was too short and it’s back to the daily grind and blah, blah, blah. Of course, that shadow just so happens to be a resident of Greenvale, where there’s actually decent work for her type when a certain game director brings his development team into town and needs to put together an updated version of his last project. I think she’s bent over backward here because that work has come to a close and there’s nothing to do now but moan and creep around the woods scaring small to medium sized animals and the occasional tourist that strolls off the beaten path.

Naturally, Greenvale’s actual residents aren’t really to scared of these shadows, as they’re quite used to all sorts of weird happenings in their town. If you’re headed there for vacation and want to give one or more of them a nice ego boost, pretend to be totally freaked out when you see them and run around in a circle for about thirty seconds screaming like a squeezed duck. That should make someone smile and tell their Shadow friends that they “got another one!” when they’re having that beer party on Friday behind the Swery 65 Bar…

By now, you know that you should be thrilled that there’s only a week until Rising Star Games gets Deadly Premonition: The Director’s Cut for the PlayStation 3 into stores. This PS3 exclusive features updated HD visuals, PlayStation Move and 3D TV support, Trophies, all-new DLC and over 100 improvements over the original version. Your next Monday won’t be spent griping and groaning at all unless you’re somehow facing the wrong way when you start playing and complaining that you can’t see anything. Just don’t do that with someone else in the room of they’ll call you crazy and have the men in white coats come to take you for a ride. Then you’ll REALLY have something to whine about when you end up not being able to play the game at all until you get released…

One person who’s very probably having an ABSOLUTELY fine Monday is Game Director Swery 65. I’d bet he’s pretty much sitting around in a bar or coffee shop somewhere checking his email, having a(nother) tasty burger and beverage combo while updating his Facebook page with a quick post or Instagram photo (or both) and just hanging out enjoying himself while he waits patiently for the first reviews to roll in. I’d say he’s got nothing to fear in terms of too many gamers and editor-types NOT liking the game, as it’s already gone through that wringer once and is now seen as a genre classic by many who fell under its strange spell…

One more cool thing about Greenvale is its terrific road system made up of plenty of nicely paved streets and is fairly light in terms of traffic. It’s a good thing this little town’s roads aren’t as busy as some bigger metropolitan areas around the country, as it would be much harder for FBI Special Agent Francis York Morgan to get around and gather clues in his attempt to shut the book on that Red Seeds Killer case file. Of course, it’s also REALLY easy to be distracted by Greenvale’s other sights such as the A&G Diner’s excellent espresso, The Swery 65 Bar and its quality selection of beers and spirits and of course, a certain pretty girl who also happens to be in law enforcement. If this weren’t a murder case, it would be some sort of spring fling fueled by caffeine, pie and alcohol with a few smooches and hugs for good measure. But that sort of idyllic daydreaming can be troublesome with a ritualistic killer on the loose who’s got no compunctions about dispatching anyone he sees fit to if they get in his way…

(Cue dramatic music) To be continued…

The good thing about dropping into the formerly sleepy until those bizarre killings took place town called Greenvale is you don’t even need to have a REAL driver’s license, folks. That and the nicely improved driving controls are just ONE of over 100 great improvements to Deadly Premonition: The Director’s Cut, coming exclusively to the PlayStation 3 from Rising Star Games on April 30, 2013. Featuring updated HD visuals, PlayStation Move and 3D TV support, game-expanding DLC and MORE, you’ll want to spend hours driving around exploring every street in your hunt for clues to stop that mad killer or helping out any citizens who need a bit of assistance.

Hmmm… I was wondering earlier today if Game Director Swery 65 actually drives a car in Japan or is he a public transportation sort of guy? Not that it matters, mind you – it’s just that the driving mechanics in the first version of the game were notoriously wonky to some critics and gamers. Granted, once you got used to them, they weren’t that bad. I actually kind of think this was part of the plan, as the game plays with its players on a few core levels from its visual style to smashing expectations of what a lead character in a game can be. York’s certainly a memorable main character loads of new players won’t soon forget. Of course, this just means more well-dressed cosplayers at the next big convention all York-ing it up and making Swery smile even more so than usual…