Batman: Arkham Origins Launch Trailer: Your “Personal Mission” Is To Buy This Game.

To quote the Joker (not verbatim, of course):“Ha ha heee hooo haa.” So, not only is the console and PC version solid, even the portable version is doing well. So, haters be damned. On the other hand, no one listens to the ranters and ravers who bile it up over games they haven’t played, so let them rant and complain. WB Games sure doesn’t need them for this game to be a hit, that’s for sure. Go get it or he’ll come and get you. The Batman, that is. The Joker is a bit tied up right now…

Mr. Peabody & Sherman Trailer: Wards of the State, Juvenile Delinquent Version…

 
Urgh. OK, I think I asked this question before, but just WHO is this film targeted to? Us cranky ass oldsters who grew up watching Rocky & Bullwinkle, Fractured Fairy Tales and yes, these two characters are grinding our collective teeth about this CG travesty, the kids of today won’t have a C-L-U-E what the heck this is about other than the usual dumbed down predictable plot that lasts and hour and half and has pop songs packed in and the obligatory fake outtakes in the credits. Parents not in the know about Jay Ward and his creations (and style of humor) will of course, dutifully pack up the tots and trundle in to see this, buy the toys and other merchandise and thing all is peachy keen and as harmless as a stuffed poodle.

Me, I’ll be hitting my head with a hammer and hoping at least one or two critics point out that the Peabody segments were excellent because they worked best as unconnected shorts that were over and done with in a few minutes. Stretching things to feature length and adding needless stuff and worse modern jokes is only bleeding any chance for redemption from this one dry in record time. I didn’t even crack a smile during this trailer and that’s a bad sign because my sense of humor is pretty off the wall and expansive. Hey, I could be totally wrong, people… but it’s not a good sign in this day and age of movie trailers coughing up all the best parts of a movie in that two minutes or so. Hmmm… we shall see, I suppose…

Dracula on NBC: Great or Awful, There’s Still a Lot of Sucking Bound to Happen…

Hmmmm… The words “Dracula on NBC” should already scare some of you away from this one like it’s covered in maggots with a crazed Renfield chasing after it with a very rusted butter knife, but here we go, another attempt at getting the vampire on the telly. Vampires in general have suffered the indignities of modern romanticizing for quite some time and it’s been a downhill slide for the true fanged few since the preteens got their stupidly stripped down versions on them that rake in profits for their re-creators by the billions. I won’t name any names here, but for many true fans of the myth it’s been a hell of the purest form seeing print, film and other new media vampires eat away at the legend to the point where it’s now “cool” and yet played out because every time you spin your head, some would be Stoker-lite is shifting a new piece of overblown fan-fiction from their hard drive out into the world as a professional work in some form of media and yes, the kids love them some fancy fang to face action on a regular basis. Blech… Continue reading

The Dark Eye: Demonicon Launch Trailer – It’s Not Fellini, But RPG Fans Should Be Pleased…

Demonicon_1While I haven’t played a game in this long-running RPG series in a few years (that would be Drakensang in case you’re asking or even if you’re not and just curious), The Dark Eye: Demonicon looks like something I’d enjoy on a certain level. Sure, I’m not expecting perfection nor a game that’s going to be some sort of instant candidate for a “best of” list at all. But if it’s challenging, has a halfway decent story and a few likable characters, I’m all in for the ride. This one’s out now as a digital download, but I see that consoles are listed on the game’s official site. Hopefully this means the game will be headed to the US at some point in an easier to access for some folks disc form. Hey, not everyone can get into the wonders of the invisible media age as much as these developers and publishers think, wish and want them too.

It’s Geralt of Riva’s Birthday! What Did YOU Get Him?

Geralt Birthday

Okay, okay… some you may not have heard of Polish developer CD Projekt RED or their outstanding The Witcher series of games, but those who know what the heck I’m talking about get to ogle that art above and funny infographic below with a nod and a smile.

Witcher Infographic

If you’re not a fan and that info has piqued your curiosity, feel free to do the clicky-clicky thing with your mouse and read on for some press release action on why six years is so important for Geralt and his future (which is looking quite bright indeed)…

And oh, yeah… I go him a nice pair of socks, as I think they weren’t invented back then and it gets COLD in those medieval fantasy winters! Continue reading

BUY THIS! Adventure Time 3DS Gets A Nice Collector’s Edition. You Want That 3DS Now, Don’t You?

Adventure Time 3DS

Look at it. LOOK AT IT! I said! Lovely, isn’t it. Yeah, I thought so. Uhhhh… hey! Where’s that chorus of angels I hired? Oh, crap – they all flew off to buy a box of 3DS XL’s and now I’m broke because angels do NOT work cheap. Crap and blah. Well, so much for the musical portion of this post. Anyway, huzzah! Adventure Time: Explore the Dungeon Because I DON’T KNOW! has gone gold (crowd cheers) and will be… IN. STORES. SOON. Yeah. As far as I know, the PS3, Wii U and Xbox 360 versions get no special treatment and the PC version is on Steam as a digital game so you don’t even get a box (just MAGIC coming through your computery screen!). Yeah!

Anyway, if you’re awake NOW and reading this, thanks for waiting for this very post. Now get the heck to bed so I can go to sleep as well. Keeping me up past midnight, you guys… Now I have pumpkin feet (AGAIN). Pkay, Good to the Night, people… I have a tiger to catch later today or something, growl!

Captain America: The Winter Soldier UK Trailer: Springing Into Next Spring All Over The Place…

Hey, Robert Redford is in this movie. Wait, what? Well… I guess that’s going to be interesting to some people who might not otherwise care, but I guess he needed some company and explosions as stuff after spending all that time alone on a busted boat on the open sea. Well, he’s got plenty of friends in this superhero flick (although it doesn’t look as he’s going to be sporting a fancy cape and boots or driving a sports car off the roof of a high rise here) set to hit theaters in North America on April 4, 2014. I see that this comes out in the UK a week earlier, but I’ll have to look up if this is coming out in Chinese-speaking territories at all and what the date would be. The number 4 isn’t actually a good number there, so I’d imagine both that date and title would get a big change to something more audience friendly. I suggest “U.S. Man, You Owe US A Lot of Debt, Too: Stop Making Such Expensive Movies!” or something shorter, but Marvel won’t like that at all. Not one bit.

And yeah, I can smell the laser-eyed death threats from the crankier and more humorless fans who take these movies far too seriously already. Well, those who didn’t follow that Comic-Con advice about showering before the show each day… Bleargh. Well, I got my soap cannons ready, so come and get it… Just remember to bring your own washcloth and towel.

Batman: Arkham Origins Blackgate Gameplay: Out For A Scroll In The City Jail…

Amazingly, some really whiny “fans” are griping that this isn’t the same game as the console versions and that’s it looks like a tablet game or whatever. *Yawn*, I say to those folks, most of whom I gather haven’t played some of those old side-scrolling Batman games from back in the day. Blackgate looks good to me, not every Vita (or 3DS) game is going to be blowing the doors off of the last great one and finally, forming judgments without getting one’s grubby to non-grubby paws on the game makes you a typing monkey with an opinion and not liable to be listened to by developers, publishers or anyone else who you’re trying to soapbox out of a purchase. Now, go slip on a banana peel and get comfortable with those cranky comments elsewhere. I’ve got me some bad guys to catch and henchmen to hurt. Batman: Arkham Origins Blackgate comes out to-morrow (10/25) on the PlayStation Vita and Nintendo 3DS.

Random Indie Game of the Week: Vampire Volleyball? Okay, I’ll Bite…

vv_iphone5_ungerWell, I was in quite an emo mood earlier, as things were quite bumpy on the whole me getting stuff I needed to get done DONE department. So thank goodness for Retro 64’s just released Vampire Volleyball for helping me kill some time with a smile rather than kill my laptop for freaking out for the better part of the day. It’s pretty simple to hop into and good silly fun for a while, those round-headed vamps and their fight to be champs against some foes who don’t all play clean. The nice thing is, the game is out for FREE on four of the six platforms it’s playable on (Windows, Mac, Linux, and Flash) while Android and iOS versions will set you back a mere 99 cents US. At that price (or FREE if you’re luckier to be a “low-tech” kinda guy or gal), it’s a definite must and you may find yourself calling on a friend to give you a fang, as the game supports two players.

Of course, SOME of you too strict sporty-sport fans will note that these globe-domed bloodsuckers and other creeps knock that ball around with their HEADS like it’s a soccer ball (or football in countries other than the US), but who’s going to stop a vampire from doing what it wants? YOU, Van Helsing? Well good luck with that, then. I’ll see you (or at least your head) in the game as the ball being butted over that net for the score, Spike…

What You SHOULD Be Playing This Week (TOO Much Stuff Edition, Part 1):

Okay, I’ll do two or three posts on this week’s best new releases (well, the ones I’ve tried or want to try), as I’m in the middle of a new project and my time to post this week is stupidly low. ow low? So low that I’ll need to edit in all the tags I want to put in later. Yeah, THAT low! Anyway, lets start off with three for now. Here. We. Goooooo!:

Savage: The Shard of Goshen – Yes, it’s an indie PC game and YES it’s an alpha version. But if you grew up playing 8 and 16-bit stuff back in the day, what’s here will get you grinning like Renfield finding a spider’s web packed with lunch and hoping the developer, torborprime can do everything he wants with that versatile Game Maker engine and then some. The combination of a non-linear open world game and classic side-scrolling platforming (procedurally generated, at that!) makes this one unique and closer to a role-playing experience than your typical homage. While it’s not as brutally old-school as the wondrously tough Volgarr the Viking (which I really NEED to review soon!), it’s one of those nostalgic works in progress that comes highly recommended. And it’s FREE! SO go get it, I say! 

Deus Ex: Human Revolution – Director’s Cut I’d actually forgotten this was coming out and as it was initially a Wii U sort of exclusive, that’s the platform I’ll be snapping it up for. Yeah, I bought a Wii U on day one and have been more or less pleased with the ports for it, but critics have been harsh even when they’ve turned out better because they’re not thinking of Nintendo-ONLY gamers and how they’d react to finally getting to play a game their friends have been bragging about for a while. Anyway, DE:HR DC comes with all that previous DLC plus new elements and that tasty, tasty GamePad support that adds a bit of extra fun in that “sorry other versions, you just don’t have what that GamePad offers and just adding device support is NOT the same thing, silly!” way a good Wii U port does. Yeah, it’s also available on PC, PS3 and Xbox 360 (and PC owners who already have the original get a HUGE discount), so unless you’re rockin’ that iPad only, you sort of have no excuse to miss this one. 

​Naruto Shippuden: Ultimate Ninja Storm 3 Full Burst CyberConnect2 LOVES its fans, period. How else would you explain this beefed up, blown out, balls-out reissue of an already too big game experience? Every bit of DLC is here, cinemas have been reworked to look even better, new characters, new content and more make an already fantastic Naruto game even more spectacular. Non-fans will of course, shrug and nod off by now, but I say slap a controller into their claws and step back to watch them groove on the game as it hits them over the head with its amazing-ness. You may not get that controller back and have to eject someone from your home, but at least that means they’ll probably buy a PS3 or Xbox 360 of their own so they can play this one. Just remember to NOT toss their contact info, as you’ll NEED a buddy for that epic and insane new boss fight this game has. Seriously, it’s RIDICULOUS.

Back in a bit with more. recommends. Duty calls! Er, no, I’m NOT playing that new Call of Duty game (yet)… don’t read too much into my sign-off there!