E3 2013: Konami Pre-Show Event: A Little of This, A Lot of That, Shake Well. BOOM.

Posted on June 6, 2013 by geelw

The most interesting bit out of this is 24 actor Kiefer Sutherland being chosen as the new voice and face of Solid Snake (!) in the upcoming multiplatform release, Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain. That was quite head spinning and amusing enough to make me think it was a gag for a minute or two. But it wasn’t, so I guess this is farewell to the original voice of Snake! Well, I know the David Hayter fan base is livid (and I’m sure Hayter’s recent comments about being in the game will be dissected to really mean he’s playing a different character or not actually in it at all – oops), but I say let’s see what happens.

Amusingly enough… even though the official position is Konami wanted an older, more mature guy to play the now 49-year old Snake, it’s a bit of a bizarre rationale to my ears. For those in the know, Hayter provided the voice of a much older Solid Snake in Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots, so one can only imagine his reaction to this news. Well, he did issue a tweet saying the game would sell about “as well as New Coke!”, so I’m gathering he’s not that pleased with the spiked boot he’s been handed to the butt…

E3 2013: Microsoft, Meet The Real World…

Posted on June 6, 2013 by geelw

So, according to Microsoft, their new Xbox One wonder-box of miracles ABSOLUTELY requires an always online connection, restricts sharing of physical or digital games and does a few other things so terribly wrong for the sake of the “future” that it all means if you live in an area with no, crappy or “borrowed” internet access… you’re screwed.

Actually, you’re not really screwed… you just need to find another console to play your games on. Boo. To paraphrase the original Star Trek’s good Dr. Leonard “Bones” McCoy: “It’s a console, NOT a cellphone!”

Yeah, well… someone’s going to be in for a big, fat Greek surprise this holiday season and it’s not the consumer who’s decided to move on and spend their money elsewhere. It will be any Microsoft executive expecting a gigantic bonus check for implementing possibly the worst enforced evolution scheme in the relatively brief history of video gaming. Want to hand a used game down to the kids in another home? Good luck with that. Want to lend someone you recently became acquainted with a game you bought and beat a few days back? Nope – they need to be on your Friends List for at LEAST 30 days. Not 29, 20, 14 or 4, folks. 30 or up. There’s a lot more, but it’s all downhill and garbage gibberish that sounds as if it was randomly generated PR nonsense… Continue reading →

E3 2013: Puppeteer Trailer: Another “Little” Treasure on the PS3…

Posted on June 5, 2013 by geelw

I don’t know about you, fellow ancient gamers out there, but Sony’s upcoming PS3 exclusive, Puppeteer actually reminds me of something that legendary developer Treasure would have done back in the day as a 2D game on a 16 or 32-bit console or a 3D game on a later platform. That’s not a negative, by the way.

The game’s new trailers certainly bring back fond memories of Treasure hits and near-hits such as Gunstar Heroes, Dynamite Headdy, Mischief Makers and a few other classics not named Mario this or that, but with a more modern level of visual polish not found in those older titles.

Even better, it’s coming to retail (yes!) at a very reasonable $39.99, so you get that quality game experience of old (as in a cute platformer that would cost twenty bucks more on a cartridge) with the budget-minded pricing of a company that knows gamers want to spend less on much of what they’re interested in. Sure, I’m betting there’s some “Well, it doesn’t LOOK like a AAA game!” nonsense going on in some heads out there, but if it’s fun, has some decent replay value and gets noticed as a stellar experience by the jaded critics out there, it’s worth more than it’s selling for, I say…

E3 2013: South Park: The Stick of Truth Trailer: They Didn’t Kill Kenny!

Posted on June 5, 2013 by geelw

Nope, THQ’s dying off in slow flames didn’t stop this game from getting snapped up by the highest bidder when the publisher’s assets were sold off, so veteran developer Obsidian Entertainment and new publisher Ubisoft are making sure fans of the TV show will have nothing to worry about. Granted, if you hate South Park, you’re shaking your fist at the screen and screaming “Whyyyyyyy??!!” or something (and if you’re at work or in a public place, you’re just mouthing it so no one gives you a dirty look), but this one looks like it’ll be fun and as pointedly crude as the show.

I’m not a regular viewer myself, but it does make me laugh and cringe at all the proper moments. One thing, though… where the hell is the Wii U version? Ubisoft? Get on that, please. I’ll most likely grab this for the PS3, but I’d say Nintendo’s console could use some more love…

Fantasia: Music Evolved: Harmonix Has A Hit Here (But I Bet The Real Yen Sid Is Rolling In His Freezer…)

Posted on June 4, 2013 by geelw

Ho-kay. I’m so behind the times in the modern music thing that I initially thought this was going to be a game featuring that former American Idol winner who fell on hard times (pay your taxes, people!) getting a second chance in a new IP where players got to sing in front of their KINECT-enabled TV’s. Boy was I wrong. Look, I’ll give Harmonix every benefit of the doubt because they’ve made some great and innovative music and dance-themed games for a number of consoles, but this trailer is pretty lousy because it doesn’t say “Disney” to me at all – it says “desperation” for whomever got behind this and forgot all about the original movie and that still impressive classic animation/classical music combination.

Yes, I get the whole argument about tuning in to modern tastes, and YES, poking about for previews has revealed that the game has a few interesting aspects that make it sort of a cross between Child of Eden and some sort of exploration/collection-fest. That said, as a fan of traditional animation and more types of music than the not yet completely revealed track list that’s seemingly made up of later 20th to more current hits, I have to pull the emergency brake and fall onto the heaving bosom of a tutu-clad cartoon hippo for comedic effect. Come on, Harmonix – there’s a great library of classical tunes that deserve being introduced to folks who have no clue what an orchestra is.

Yeah, this will probably do well and make people like me warm up the oven to pop in another frozen crow pie, but no classic Disney magic means… no classic Disney magic, period. Bruno Mars and classic Queen are for listening to when you’re dancing in the shower (watch that soapy floor!) or driving to the mall with the kids (as they’re screaming at you to change the station because Freddie Mercury’s voice freaks them out). I guess this being an exclusive for the Xbox 360 and Xbox One means the chances of a Wii U game that’s closer to the original film (or hell, even Fantasia 2000) in tone. But, whatever – maybe I’m just old fashioned or something…

Memo to Microsoft: You Can’t Rewrite History By Erasing It…

Posted on June 2, 2013 by geelw

I was going to save this (or a variation of this) for after Microsoft’s E3 press conference, but I may as well do some (ugh) speculation based on their current mine cart zooming to the cliff full of baskets of freshly laid rotten egg ideas.

Actually, I’ll lay some new-age Nostradumbass foundation here and follow up after the show (or during if I’m able to recover from whatever “major game announcements” they throw into the pot that either make or break their new console as a purchase around these parts.

Anyway, for some insane reason, Microsoft keeps wanting to ignore, avoid or otherwise stamp out its gaming history in favor of shipping out a new console that does even more to be less of a gaming system and more of a cable box with a gaming “service” added in, an always connected all-seeing eye that some are already seeing as having serious privacy rights issues and what’s looking like a near complete focus on North American entertainment tastes, well… sure, go right on ahead. I still have three working Xboxes, two dead Xbox 360’s (and when your first console is better made than your second… that’s a bit of an issue) and a nice chunk of physical media to fall back on.

Sure, you’ll get sales from those who want to buy into your service plans and monetization schemes, but but at what REAL cost at the end of the day? You can indeed keep those shareholders and non-gaming investors and overpaid analysts happy all you want, but torching the forest and salting the ground behind you means no one will remember that Microsoft once (at least outside the U.S. of A.) was KEY is helping create a more important part of game history at one point in the faraway past.

That would be the MSX and its variants and not the Xbox, by the way.

More sane over-thought processing to come during or after E3…

Ubisoft Does A Bit of Pre-E3 Tease (or: Aisha’s Baaaaack)…

Posted on June 1, 2013 by geelw

Having Aisha Tyler (from FX’s hilarious animated spy spoof Archer) host Ubisoft’s E3 press conference last year was a masterstroke, as she’s a gamer guys and gals can relate to without all that celebrity stuff getting in the way. Well, as you can see here, she’s going to be returning for this year’s show and yes, it’ll be the conference to catch just because it’ll be fun to see her take on some of the company’s upcoming lineup. Of course, Ubisoft always pulls off some major reveals, so those jokes she’s going to throw down should make a nice counterpoint to the sounds of jaws dropping in that hall and in front of computers or whatever device that event is viewed on…