Nope, I’m not QUITE taking today off, folks. I was just catching up on some games I need to review (the results of which you’ll read shortly). Anyway, to keep you “entertained”, I thought I’d grab my crappy camera and quickly zoom through some stuff in the library (which NEEDS a big reorganization and/or a makeover I can’t afford yet, boo!). Er, you may want to take some Dramamine before viewing this, as it’s probably really fuzzy and moving faster than a caterpillar who’s had a pot of strong coffee. Or like a rat. Made out of a LOT of video games. Squeak, squeak! Eek, eek!
As predicted, HBO is really rolling out the Game of Thrones promo war-wagon (and probably crushing a few lesser shows’ heads in the process), as we get two teasers in as many days. I expect a few more before the new season kicks off, but none of these will faze me either way. I actually prefer to go into each season cold and allow each episode to wash over me and do what it does best. I’m not one for the stupidity of betting real money in Vegas or wherever on who “lives” and “dies” on this or any show, as hey, I can separate my real life realities from my fake realities in TV shows I like just fine. That and my hard-earned dollars can go towards something a good deal more sensible (like food, for one thing)…
Fans of Showtime’s Dexter and a few other shows she’s been in will recognize Julie Benz from her great work and it looks as if the streak will continue in Defiance. The upcoming syfy series launches eleven days after the PC/PS3/Xbox 360 game tie-in hits, so there will hopefully be enough people playing or hearing about the game to generate a wave of interest in the series. The big fat elephant in the room is quality, but so far, the show and game seem to have it in spades. As always, we shall see… but I say give this one a chance for a season and see where it takes you.
OK, I have TOO much stuff. Actually, it would look a GREAT deal less cluttered here if I could afford the room/office design I have in my head but not enough in the wallet to even think of. The obvious running joke here is “sell your games so you can afford to get more space!”… which (ha ha) would leave me with money to buy some nice shelves and such but nothing to put on them.
Ah well… I guess it could be worse. I could be keeping rabbits here in the apartment. Or running a mushroom farm from the closets here. Hmmm… that might work for some good cash after all. Where can I find good truffles around here to raise? And a dog that hates expensive fungus?
(Note: pigs are allegedly illegal to keep here in NYC as pets despite some people owning them in a few spots)…
One of the most unique-looking and fun indie adventure/puzzle games from a few years back is finally Vita-bound for an excellent price later this month. Amanita Design’sMachinarium is coming on March 26, 2013 for a paltry $6.99 and it’s actually greatly enhanced over the previously released PSN version. A reworked control scheme allows analog sticks or touchscreen movement, a new zoom function allows you to see things a bit closer (the artwork is so intricately detailed that this is a necessity), and PSn leaderboards have been added so you can check your times and mini-game scores against players from all over. Another must-buy indie game for Sony’s handheld? Sure, I’ll take it if it’s one as good as this…
If you try to stop my much-deserved sleep you’ll soon hear a certain stylized “beep” That’s just me, a-hammering on your hard head half-awake, swinging ’til we both see red.
The talented jerks working at Nanda Home Have cooked up two bad clocks that happen to roam. As soon as the time you’ve set rolls on around Those stupid smart tickers, they leap to the ground!
They roll away, wailing their horrific chimes And chase them you must for committing their crimes You’d better be fast at running half awaken As smashing into walls can have bones a-breakin’
And as you’re there lying and writhing in pain Both Clocky and Tocky roll past your bruised brain still chirping and screeching ’til you’re off your ass and after them once more, your foot on the gas
If you’d like to add torture to your morning routine or give someone the gift of a busted spleen Stock up on these demons from Nanda’s factory But don’t you go pointing that tired finger at me!
Evil, I say. EVIL!. Clocky is $45, Tocky (and it’s even MORE evil feature that allows you to record voice or MP3 files so you can crash into walls while listening to yourself, someone else and/or your favorite music getting you out of bed in a frenzy)? That’s $58. Hey, it’s YOUR money, so I can’t tell you how to spend it. So if you want to buy one, three or a whole room full of these things and/or give a nasty gift to a friend, the kids, the significant other or anyone else (and be hated for a month or so), knock yourself out. Of course, if you get one for yourself, you probably will once or twice before you get used to it…
Thirty more seconds of hot tease-y Game of Thrones trailer action from HBO. It’s a good thing they didn’t go the corny route that I did in the poorly paraphrased post title above and use that great old song as the music for this trailer. Well, it would have been funny (but not that funny), the fans would have marched on HBO headquarters and demanded a few heads on pikes and Twitter would have sprouted a third eye and flown right off the Internet. Or something like that. Oh, hell – I know you’re not even bothering to read this with that distraction up above and all, so I won’t even TRY hard to entertain you. The end of the month is rolling up soon enough, folks and I’ll be just like you, glued to the boob tube and not ranting on YouTube about whatever else is less interesting.
Mmmmhmmm? OK. That’s sorted out, isn’t it? I certainly think so. Well then, if there were ANY doubts that Deep Silver’s purchase of Volition was going to mean a different direction for the fan favorite franchise, well… here’s proof that the more things change, the crazier they get at the end of the day. More outrageous and DEFINITELY not for the kiddies open world action, goofball weapons, super powers (!) and too much weirdness guaranteed to make any fan fall off the couch and bust a gut twice. OK, let’s move on now that we know all is well. Now, about Summoner III (which NEEDS to be made, grrrr. Letting that go unsold at the THQ auction was a huge mistake that needs to be rectified, I say…)
Ha and har. OK, bad pun (that I changed because I was a wee bit pooped out when I write this post originally) aside, Codemasters is on point with GRID 2 so far and despite the screeches and crunching from fans demanding a dashboard view or else, it looks as if the game should do fine without it. Granted, there are some powerful PC’s that can run other games out there with full dashboard cams going a a billion frames per second or whatever, but I guess we’ll see what the Codies can do on next-gen console hardware to satisfy those folks who want that in-car viewpoint. I think it can be done and having the option is always cool even if it’s never used by the bulk of casual to regular race fans that dislike it. As always… we shall see…
UK-based Reef Entertainment along with developer Teyron are hard at work on their upcoming PC/PS3/Xbox 360 Rambo game and it looks pretty good as far (well, as those nice screenshots go). That initial trailer with zero actual gameplay footage was a good enough elevator pitch to some fans, but skeptical dopes like me want to see something to Actual Bravo about.
Still, I won’t be playing this as a “serious” game, as other than First Blood and that last super-gory flick (that made some interesting political points on the pro-rebel side of the Myanmar/Burma conflict), the series isn’t exactly without its unintentionally goofy-ass elements. Of course, I’m also throwing any expectations out the nearest window like I do with every game I play, as going in wanting something LIKE another game and getting what a developer intends to be different always disappoints in one way or another. That May 3, 2013 release dater I’ve seen is rolling around pretty fast, so let’s hope for the sake of the license that the game is actually fun and does well at retail.
"DESTROY ALL FANBOYS!" 