October | 2023 | "DESTROY ALL FANBOYS!"

Ever have one of THOSE days?

Yes, I’m still here, folks. Just a bit too occupied with real life these days. Now, where were we? So, The really funny thing is, I actually found some folks to give my most awful candy to and it was quite by accident. Previously, what you got was a total surprise and I’m sure kids got what they wanted more often than not while most of the adults who picked out their own treats seemed pleased, although on a few occasions, some parental units actually asked for the “worst” candy I had because they had a kid that had misbehaved in some way and they wanted to prove that The Great Pumpkin was cut from the same fictional cloth as Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny or whomever. I had previously made a separate bucket for the oddball candy and usually had enough to hand out later in the evening, but one year, an elderly gentlemen popped up beside me and asked if I had any Circus Peanuts (oog) because he and his brother loved them back in the day, but his strict parents despised Halloween and wouldn’t let them go celebrate the holiday for whatever reason.

“Sometimes, you feel like a nut…”

Sometimes, a little sugar therapy goes a long way and when I told the old man that not only did I have a bunch of sealed bags of Circus Peanuts, he was welcome to as many as he wanted, he surprised me by rooting carefully through the buckets and grabbing all of the pesky peanuts, stopping every few seconds to ask me if it was OK that he was taking them. “Sure!” was my response, as I knew I’d have issues getting rid of all those so-called “peanuts” when trick or treaters would come around later in the evening. Yes, I did mention to him to go easy with all that candy, and while he cheerfully munched on a handful, he smiled and said “It’s a good thing these last forever!” and “You know, these aren’t bad STALE!” which made me gag a little, I’ll admit. The next year. I remembered to deliberately by two of three bags just for him and he was too happy that I remembered and even the Security guards didn’t mind if there was a Halloween or two with bad weather and I left a few bags in the security booth for him to pick up later. One year, I recall telling him I had a few sealed bags of candy corn left and he laughed and said “What am I supposed to do with that?” My personal (and yes, snarky) recommendation was to make some sort of “fancy” holiday candy “salad” and share it with friends, but I already have enough trouble with friends who actually follow my often bad advice, let alone nice strangers who I’ve recently met.

I’ve only been egged once while handing out treats, and it was thanks to some Catholic school punks (it’s always the “good” kids, right?), but I was more annoyed at having to rush home, take a quick shower and change than getting overly upset at some teens having a bit of stupid fun. That said, the perks of this gifty gig have outweighed the few bad spots. On a few occasions, people have surprised me with their generosity. I still recall all those free cups of coffee from the diner across the street from the park and the server from the diner who’d show up in costume and joke around with us before or after her shift. One year she was dressed as Flo from the old TV show Alice, one year she was a somewhat spectacular Bride of Frankenstein (her daughter did a great job on her hair and makeup) and she really got into the spirit of the season with her other costumes. As most of her customers were older residents, she’d sometimes take requests and dress as characters from old films or TV shows, sometimes with costume changes mid-shift. One chilly Halloween, she popped over to drop off a few orders of pumpkin pancakes with bacon (they were awesome).

You never know who you might meet…

This may be the last year I’ll be able to do this, given the current world situation (Where’s that damn asteroid? It’s a bit late, you know?). But I’ll be my normally sunny self until that day comes or I decide it’s a good year to go on an actual vacation. My doctor made me laugh a few weeks ago when he said his own kids noted he’s in his YOLO phase about a few things. Yeah, me too (sound of bones creaking and other old coot stuff)… Happy Halloween!

That sound was my back going out.

-GW

While there are certainly a few low budget cheap thrills to be found in this horror/mystery flick, there’s also a certain grainy “charm” to be found in 1959’s Jack The Ripper that makes it worth at least, a curious watch. It’s a mostly pedestrian affair, but not at all what I’d call a “biopic” or anything remotely close to that. In a way, it’s like cross between an episode of Quantum Leap with a transplanted New York City detective (and his modern 1959 haircut) attempting to solve the Ripper case, which gets in the way of most of the actual facts of the case. Granted, this is more of a quickie popcorn flick than anything else, but thanks to the Severin Films version, there are two cuts of the film to enjoy. One is the censored American cut and the other is the saucier foreign version that adds a bit of topless nudity and a cat fight (rowr!) scene. I picked up both versions last year (oddly, the US print cost more that the import)

Maybe half a bowl of popcorn for this?

Oh, and the film is as predictable as a hefty sneeze after snorting a handful of black pepper. There are “suspense” sequences that aren’t suspenseful, too many obvious suspects, a stalky chase through a foggy area that’s just padding between murders and so forth and so on. Not to knock the transfer quality, (he said, knocking the transfer quality), but, this is film that suffers from being far too dark in some areas and a tad too grainy in others. But if you can deal with the opening sequence, you can handle the rest. There’s a neat color sequence at the end of the American cut that kind of makes up for the near total lack of fake blood spilled in the film, but the nudity in the other cut isn’t exactly what I’d call “kid friendly”.

So, yep- this isn’t the best film of it’s type an you’re certainly not going to learn a thing here you already didn’t see in better Ripper flicks, but some will be all in on what bit of ground it does cover, unless they’re too darn picky about facts and such. As long as you go in blind, you should at least be entertained. Just don’t wear your Deestalker hat at all- you’re not going to over-roast a brain cell figuring out the killer here.