Review: Road to Ballhalla

Too perfect in it’s design to train and tremendously frustrate lesser-skilled players, Road to Ballhalla excels as a reflex, stress, and bragging rights test for all ages. Impatient controller tossers need to go collect stamps or something else a good deal more relaxing. 

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Platform: PC
Developer: Torched Hill
Publisher: tinyBuild Games
# of Players: 1
Release Date: 8/6/2016
MSRP: $14.99
ESRB Rating: N/A
Official Site
Score: A- (90%) BUY IT!

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Oh, Road to Ballhalla, I love you, I hate you. You’re a cross between Marble Madness as redesigned by The Joker, and a holiday-visiting drunk uncle dressed like The Joker (but on Thanksgiving or Christmas, yikes!) except without the people dying from Smilex gas or other nasty tricks stuff. Yes, it’s an absolutely fantastic game and double yes, you should buy and play it. But if you’re a temper-tantrum inclined sort prone to personal property destruction, go let someone else play while you watch, preferably strapped to a comfy couch.

It doesn’t help (but it really does) that the game goads you at every turn with lousy, hilarious puns whether you succeed or fail. Failure, by the way, is this game’s trump card and it’s worth failing getting your ball to the goal a few times just to experience uncontrollable rage and uncontrollable laughter simultaneously. Well, provided you have a sense of humor after the tenth or so time watching your ball shatter thanks to that onnnne spot giving you grief. Okay, more than one spot if you’re like me, gyaaaaah.

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Earth Defense Force 5: If You Just Needed ONE Game in 2017…

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Holy Crap. I’d been so busy last month with missing consoles and personal stuff that I very COMPLETELY forgot to pay closer attention to Tokyo Game Show (TGS). Well, thanks to me finally coming up for air and asking myself while playing EDF 4.1 on my PS4 last night “Hmm, I wonder if any EDF5 news was announced…” before I passed out for the duration. Yes, the PS4 has an auto shutdown, thank you very much.

Anyway, I woke up this morning with bugs on the brain, checked YouTube and… WOW:

 

 

Yeah, I need this. I decided to look up some actual hands-on play and… my eyes are around here somewhere, as is my jaw:

 

 

Good gravy on a stick. Give me this, Breath of the Wild, a ton of indies and I’m good for all of 2017.

-GW