Carrie “Get In Your Closet” Clip: Oh, We’ve ALL Been There Before, Right?

Posted on October 7, 2013 by geelw

Yeah, so… who HASN’T had to “go to the closet” at some point in their lives? Poor Carrie above only has those telekinetic powers and a nutso mommy to worry about. I know us folks in the real world need to toss ourselves in and shut the door for a while when we pull off those major boners and need a time out while the walls fall in. Say, did you know a nice clean closet with a few blankets tossed on the floor and lots of long coats and shirts and such makes a PERFECT nap spot? Bill collectors, pissed off parents and anyone else can look up and down and all around for you but that’s THE last place they’ll ever, ever look. Of course, if you have a pet at home, you’re screwed plus tax, as those cute little bums will always sniff you out. Hell, you could have the most stoned out, never ever fetched a darn thing in its life lazy ass Scooby-Don’t as a pet and as soon as you get into that closet, he’s nosing open the door to lay on top of those blankets you’re under. Bad dog! BAD!

Um, oh yeah… Carrie is in theaters October 18. I can’t see it because I have no movie theater near me now. Maybe I’ll go take a nap in the closet instead…

Carrie “Unique” TV Spot: Well, If It Weren’t a Remake… It Sure Would Be.

Posted on September 26, 2013 by geelw

Har de har. OK, it may be a darn good remake and all, but I still think Brian DePalma’s version will be the go-to version of Carrie I’ll always prefer for a few reasons. Sure, this new version has Chloe Grace Moretz and Julianne Moore in it as leads, but I can’t see Julianne saying “dirtypillows” without a snicker starting (and the fact that we’ve all see her dirtypillows in a few films, hee hee hee! Hooray for indie films!). Oh, rats… now that’s got me going and the Booby Express song is playing in the background (and too LOUD at that!). Argh! This is SUPPOSED to be a “serious” post! Oh well… done in once more. *Sigh*…

RoboCop Poster: Black Is The New Black (Plus a “Related” Dog Story)…

Posted on September 13, 2013 by geelw

Sometimes You Get It, Sometimes You Don’t Department: About a month back I’m walking to the subway from a press event and there’s this guy walking a cute bulldog (well, cute for a bulldog) who stops at a traffic light while a big truck is trying to turn the corner. As I stroll up next to them and wait the minute or so it’ll take the truck to make the turn, a gal in a nice summer dress pops out of a store, walks up to the guy and starts chatting about his dog, asking if she could pet it. He says “Sure!” and while she’s doing so, she looks up and asks “What’s your dog’s name?” The guy looks down and says “Murphy” and yes, I let out a huge laugh. The guy looks over at me as I’m recovering and I ask “Robocop?, to which HE starts cracking up. “Yeah, yeah…” Of course, as we’re having our chuckle, the gal is looking at us and not quite getting it. Right at that moment, the truck finished negotiating the turn and I noted to the guy that he might want to let the lady in on the reference before she thinks something crazy is going on. Of course, I had that Basil Poledouris theme playing in my head as I strolled off…

Oh yeah… nice poster, huh? I’m betting we’ll see a few more before this one’s ready for its close up.

RoboCop Trailer: “Dead or Alive, You’re Coming With Me…” to the Multiplex!

Posted on September 5, 2013 by geelw

(thanks, CBMTrailers!)

OK, I’m (almost) sold. Granted, you can’t beat the original for what it brought to audiences back in the day (an unexpected hit, plenty of quotable lines, practical effects work galore and a story that solid, mixing drama, humor and extreme violence very well indeed), but this remake isn’t looking bad at all from this trailer. I have to say that this NOT being rated R is a bit annoying (the original film’s first cut kicked the censors in the groin and got an X rating until a few choice cuts were made. It took eleven attempts in total to get that R rating!), but I’m betting the studio thinks a PG-13 film will put more asses into seats because the tweens can walk up and buy tickets. Bleh.

Anyway, on one hand I can’t see this tanking unless there’s a big snowstorm in February that keeps people away and the film gets really awful reviews from some older cranky critics who do nothing but revere certain films and have a ZERO tolerance for anyone (no matter how skilled) touching what they grew up watching too many times. Then again… that February 7, 2014 release date scares me a bit. That and the assorted set woes I’ve occasionally read about. Well, as long as it’s better than Total Recall and Dredd and Hollywood doesn’t decide to copy Robocop 2 to even more of a T if this film does well, maybe it’ll be fine. Let’s see now… February, la, la, la… that means the Blu-Ray/DVD is out around May… Hmmmm, I think it’ll make a nice birthday present for me next year…

Pompeii Teaser Trailer: SPOILER: Everybody Dies (Again, Duh!)…

Posted on August 21, 2013 by geelw

OK, I’ll admit it. I sometimes get Paul W.S. Anderson, Wes Anderson and P.T. Anderson ALL kinds of mixed up (and I bet you do as well), so when I first saw the name of this film I thought it was one of the latter two director’s works that had nothing to do with the historical disaster and everything to do with well-made, quirky masterpieces worth seeing and dragging a few skeptical friends who end up charmed and convinced. But, nope – it’s just the director of those hugely popular (well, among some horror genre and video game fans) Resident Evil films (well, most of them) doing his take on a historical drama with probably a romance and action angle. Hmmm. This is a bit problematic for me, as of late I totally despise these sorts of films that take actual events and add all sorts of “What if?” or “Let’s suppose…” and have some viewers sitting there and actually BELIEVING what’s on screen is what took place.

OK, Titanic got a pass for the most part because of Cameron’s obsession to every detail (I never liked the love story part of it at all – I went to see those expensive CG effects and walked out pleased for the most part) and there were/are other dramas I’ve appreciated for certain performances or directors. But retelling Pompeii on film (AGAIN) seems like a really dead end because no one survived as far as I can recall unless they weren’t in the area or somehow managed to escape a COMPLETELY unexpected volcanic eruption (they didn’t have the Weather Channel back then, kids!). So… yeah, this is one I won’t pay to see (no matter who directs it), but I may fall down in front of the TV around December 2014 or January 2015 when this pops up as a temporary cable staple. Hey, maybe if this does well, Anderson can direct a action/romance/drama flick about the Great Chicago Fire or that absolutely hi-larious San Francisco earthquake from the last century! Yeesh.

Oh well, the Game of Thrones fans will flock in if the film is good (or if it’s not) just for Kit Harrington. Me, I separate actors I like by the parts they play, so this one’s very low on the totem pole…

So, What Happens When You #ActivateKrueger? A Lot of Running & Yelling, I Bet…

Posted on August 6, 2013 by geelw

Eek. Here comes the mountain man-droid, so go hide under something until he’s gone. Unless he’s coming for you, which means you won’t get far at all. Yeah, that was a really good idea, huh? Of course, no Krueger (Sharlto Copely, who’s been working out a bit, I see) means no confrontation and Elysium probably gets to be a boring film… so go right on ahead and press that button or whatever. Just make sure you’re nowhere in the vicinity hen you do. It seems Mr. K. is a bit un-picky when he chooses his targets.

This has been a public service announcement. Neill Blomkamp’s latest film opens this Friday at a theater near you (most likely).

New Elysium Trailer: The Grass Is Greener If You’re Not Living On The Planet…

Posted on July 31, 2013 by geelw

While Elysium looks to be pretty grim in spots, as with Neill Blomkamp’s District 9, there’s probably going to be some humor found in the strangest places. D9 had plenty of irony going for it in a few areas and I think it would be pretty amusing to see references to that film here (as if, yes, it’s the same Earth those aliens visited getting an even more depressing future this time out). We’ll see, of course – but I hope this does well out of the game and better than the other future flicks that have crashed and burned at the box office. If anything, I’ll bet the Blu-Ray/DVD set will do pretty well, as it looks like one of those flicks that’s worth multiple views just to see the many layers of depth in the CG effects work (which is some of the best I’ve seen in a film like this).

Elysium Clips: Blomkamp’s Blockbuster, Bit By Bit…

Posted on July 26, 2013 by geelw

I’m not the biggest fan of these clip job teases, but they sure didn’t spoil District 9 for me by the time I got around to seeing it. Neill Blomkamp and his effects team certainly have a way with mixing CG and practical effects that doesn’t look fake or too overblown at all and yeah, Matt Damon as a cobbled together cyborg is making for a pretty interesting character.

As long as the ending feels right (and doesn’t necessarily set up a sequel), I think this might do well and yes, we may see someone at Microsoft kicking themselves in the ass for not letting Mr. B. do that Halo movie. Of course, those folks are still in desperation mode, so I can see them throwing money his way to get on board that Xbox One’s content machine for a super exclusive.

As usual (repeat after me, class)… We shall see.

Playing With The Girls: Carrie Poster Makeover Adds Back A Little Suspense…

Posted on June 10, 2013 by geelw

OK, I was bored last night poking around the internet for E3 news and such, so when I happened to see this new Carrie poster, I had to chuckle a bit because it was a case of a little too much TMI in having the tagline AND title on the same ad. So, a quick MS Paint edit and voila! – you get at least a tiny bit of suspense back in a film that pretty much gives it all away in the poster and trailer anyway (just like the original did).

Hey, it only took me about 30 seconds to do this, so it’s not like I really did anything amazing… OK, back to actual work!

White House Down Trailer: Here, Forced Dumb.

Posted on June 5, 2013 by geelw

Blech… I just completely do not like these new dopey, expensive action flicks that throw presidents into danger. Yeah, yeah, there have been some well-made ones, but this year’s two blockbusters have just gotten my goat out of its pen and knocking its head into a wall. Well, if anything Roland Emmerich certainly knows about blowing the hell out of well-known real estate. That said, Independence Day was entertaining in a “Yeah, you KNOW that’s not going to ever happen” manner and despite the figurative earth-crushing moments where stuff blows up really good, you could at least walk out of the theater and feel somewhat entertained by what you just saw.

Anyway… this Die Hard meets Air Force One meets domestic terror on steroids stuff is really not necessary, but I guess it’ll have a “happy” ending and a lot of people complaining about it either way. Wait, that’s what I’M doing? Crap. Er, “Free Speech!” “Free Speech!” Now, where did I park that TARDIS? I want to go back and pitch this idea to George Washington and see what he thinks…