So, it’s Monday in Greenvale and here’s Emily Wyatt, still waiting patiently from last week. Uh oh. She doesn’t look very happy at all for a few important reasons. One: you’re late. Never keep a lady waiting, PERIOD. Especially on a Monday. Two: you forgot to being her a hot cup of coffee after keeping her waiting. I mean, you came from the A&G Diner, right? ALWAYS buy a lady you’ve kept waiting a hot cup of coffee. Three, her hand still hurts from that punch she threw at you on Saturday night. YOU may have forgotten all about that incident, but she didn’t. And even if she did, her hand would still hurt. Anyway, your moral for today is the following. Never keep a lady waiting, always buy her a hot cup off coffee if you do keep her waiting and ABSOLUTELY do not mention what happened on the weekend at any point. Unless she brings it up, whereupon you’re to shift nervously in your seat and mumble an apology (which should probably e a sincere one). Emily might not be in the best of moods today, but she’s a good kid and can forgive one or two mistakes like that.
Just don’t let it happen again. In fact, you can probably be a bit more proactive in the future if you simply pre-order and play Deadly Premonition: The Director’s Cut, exclusively for the PS3 and landing in stores on April 30, 2013. Groove on the improved visuals, PlayStation Move and 3D TV support, new content, Trophies and more and if you play your cards right, you’ll be able to have a better Monday at some point down the road. You may even get a nod, a smile and a sunny “Hi!” from Emily, but remember, that doesn’t mean she’s anything but a professional.
If you’re still desperate, Dr. Swery’s radio advice show may still be on the air. Hmmmm. If I recall correctly, it used to run from midnight to 7AM daily on that radio station you get in the hotel better than anywhere else in Greenvale, but I haven’t heard a thing since those strange killings started. I hope he’s alright, as that was a really good program. Hmmm… now that you mention it, there’s been a few other odd things going on since he’s been gone. I sure hope he’s OK. Maybe I should call up a detective or something? Oh, wait – there’s one in town, I hear. Now where the hell was he? Probably working a big case or something…
(to be continued…)
I’m really happy to see that not only has Blizzard reworked the controls to be direct and yes, Dual Shock 3 friendly, the game also looks great and should get MORE people playing who’ve been wondering what the hell a Diablo game is and why there’s so much bile spilling out over the Internet from a certain bunch of folks who seem to be either jealous or wishing fiery doom, (DOOM, I say!) upon the developer and anyone with a console and not a cutting-edge PC that cost more than some used cars who wants to play this game. Eh, whatever. I’m BUYING Diablo III because my PC couldn’t run it (the always online crap from that version has been replaced with a solo play mode I’m behind 100%) and I wasn’t at all interested in the real money auction house nonsense forced upon PC players. Of course, there’s the matter of the PS4 version of the game not being compatible with the PS3 version, but at the end of the day, I’m gathering that other than visuals and controls, both versions will otherwise be the same and compatible with their specific consoles (which should have user bases large enough to support online play amongst those users who end up going that route).
Well, OK… your first weekend in Greenvale wasn’t a total bust (other than the fat lip you now temporarily own), as now the locals know who you are and know you can sort of hold your liquor (to a point). Still, watch it after that fifth drink, buddy. The ladies don’t like you sizing them up, especially with a killer on the loose and you the new guy in town (suspicious and grabby? Yeah, that’s a good way to get KO’ed). Anyway, after breakfast (don’t forget to tip your waitress!), you may want to relax the rest of the day. You know, keep a low profile and all?
My suggestion: Get a copy of 
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"DESTROY ALL FANBOYS!" 