Gangster Squad Trailer #1: You’ve Just Witnessed a Crime (Or Three)

While this film does look great and seems to be in the spirit of L.A. Confidential, Public Enemies, The Untouchables and a few other modern crime sagas, as a film fan for decades, I do have some beef with a few things:

Why the hell does a period piece such as this get stuck with a blasted rap song in the trailer? And yes, I’d say the same damn thing if it were a rock, country or other song that didn’t make sense for the time this is supposed to e set in. Hell, there are PLENTY of songs from the era that would have fit, even if they chose something that was recorded a few years after these “based on a true story” events took place.

And really? Which true story was this based on? I know we live in an age where short attention spans RULE, but a little text blurb before the shootings and sexy glances placing the dates and context would have been nice. All I got from the trailer was lots of old cars, clothes angry cops, a token black guy as a G-man and Emma Stone’s big eyes.

Er, ahem. Anyway, if that slo-mo scene with the four guys walking away from the exploding car is IN the movie, I want my money back. Or someone else’s money who pays to see this and also hates that crap, That shot is the most played out one EVER in a trailer that I never hope to see in the films I see trailers that have it included. Wait, what?

Finally, the title stinks. Even if it were the actual name of the shady take no prisoners kill the gangsters with no mercy agency portrayed in the film, it stinks. It sounds like some low-budget TV show from the 50’s or worse, a movie from the 1930’s you’d catch on TCM in the middle of the night…

Oh, wait… Er, never mind…

Another Day, Another Batman: The Dark Knight Rises Trailer…

 

Well, OK… they don’t drop that often (well, yet, given Warner’s penchant to release dozens of trailer variations for their upcoming films), but it’s always nice to see how well Chris Nolan’s final chapter in his Batman trilogy is coming along. I have zero idea who Warner Bros. plans to take over the franchise should there be the need for a new set of films. But, I kind of feel sorry for anyone following Nolan’s work, as they’ll definitely be benchmarks for any future Batman films. Of course, that also means we won’t be seeing the series go back to those awful post-Tim Burton Batman flicks that are hard to watch because all they show off is a bunch of overpaid stars making a mint mugging for the camera while driving the franchise into the ground.

Prometheus Extended Featurette: How Many More Days, Now?

OK, I really need to stop watching these teasers. No, I’m not worried about spoiling the film’s story at all. They just make me want to go camp out at the nearest theater, which by the way, I don’t need to do because I’m too old for that AND have too much stuff to do here. Anyway, I’m sure all involved are happy they’ll be pulling me out into the sunlight briefly so I can see their hard work up there on screen, and I’m sure I won’t be disappointed by what I see…

The Avengers Hits Big Overseas, Making for Some New-ish Movie Math…

Personally, I really miss the days when a film made here was released here first, THEN in overseas markets. Nevertheless, it seems the strategy here is Marvel wanting to juggernaut the hype machine with a boffo box office take everywhere else so it’s a total no-brainer that the film kills at the ticket counter when if officially launches here on Friday. Of course, by that time, the bootleggers who shot and shipped DVD’s from some of those foreign markets will take away some of that gross, but not enough to put a dent in the wallets of Marvel, who’s going to be smiling for a while, it seems…

Prometheus “The Adventure Begins” Featurette: Yes, Indeed It Does (Now Where’s My Ticket?)

 

You know the year is moving too fast when that film you’re eagerly awaiting is dropping sooner that you think and you’re holding your breath because you hope it’s as good or even better than the commercials and trailers you’ve been seeing. I think Prometheus will indeed be one of those films because, frankly, too many movie commercials and trailers just stink or worse, you can tell the entire plot of the film by the end of the ad. With This movie, you can only guess what’s going on, it leaves many questions unanswered AND it looks completely spectacular. Fortunately, I live in an area with a cheap (but decent and recently renovated) local theater, so even if the film is somehow not so hot, I won’t be forking an arm and leg out to be disappointed. Not that I plan to be, mind you…

Prometheus “Happy Birthday David” Ad: Not So Subtle (And Fairly Creepy) Once You Get It…

Oh, you just KNOW this robot is going to be bad news, particularly if you’ve seen Alien and know how off the wall Ash turned out. This latest viral ad for Prometheus cracked me up because it’s so unsettling you hope that no one is working on anything this potentially psychotic in the field of robotics. Hey, what can go wrong with a machine that feels no emotion (and tells you this, no less), yet can cry on cue so it looks as if it can? 43 days and counting, folks…

The Avengers “Roll Call” Trailer: I’d Bet They’d Beat The Crap Out Of The Mousketeers…

OK, big deal. So you survived your significant other dressing up as the Black Widow and pounding you with a wooden chair while on the phone with her mom, (good thing you landed on your hard head, right?), but I don’t think you’re going to last long in Round Two. I’m just saying.. (Aflaaaaaaac!)

Avengers Black Widow Clip: Hold The Phone And Have A Seat, True Believers!

 
 

Hah! There are probably a few too many guys out there who WANT to get beat up like this by Ms. Scarlett. I’m not one of them, though (hey, I bruise easily and don’t do my own stunts!). I’m sure we’ll see some dopey YouTube video of someone trying this for real (ouch!), but I won’t be watching that particular pain-fest at all. Remember, kids – movies are movies… reality bites back hard! But of course, you’re not listening – it’s time to make that video, right? Before you break out that camera and chair and get your gal to doll up in a skin-tight outfit, you may as well check out the latest TV commercial for the upcoming film as well…

 
 

Total Recall Trailer: Get Your Ass To The Theater (See You At The Party)…

 

Confession: I’m one of those few who didn’t think the Verhoeven original was exactly a “classic” (the tri-boobed Martian hooker, excessive violence and hilarious Swazenegger one liners aside, it’s always been a weird flick to enjoy for me), so I had zero hopes for this reboot. Turns out I’m wrong again, as it looks pretty decent so far. Well, in a Fifth Element meets Minority Report kind of way. Like most of these blockbusters, I probably won’t spend a dime to see it in a theater unless it’s for a subway trip I get premiere tickets to. I can wait for the cable debut for anything these days (well, except Prometheus – that BEGS to be seen on a huge screen). Anyway, I like Colin Farell a lot as an actor, Bryan Cranston? Yup, awesome (Breaking Bad is a killer show any day of the week). The ladies? Well with Jessica Biel AND Kate Beckinsdale in this (AND fighting each other), it’ll be a fanboy’s dream flick. Me, I’m in it for the story, which I HOPE is closer to the Philip K. Dick source material. As usual (repeat after me, kids): We. Shall. See…

Dark Shadows TV Ads 1 – 3: WB Does The Hard Sell Again (But This TIme, It’s OK)…

 
 

To be frank, I stopped counting (and watching) Wrath of the Titans ads when they jumped from 14 to 27 different ones or so in less than a day on YouTube, but this reboot/remake of the hilariously campy yet compelling dramatic modern Gothic soap opera (say THAT three times fast) actually looks as it’s going to be worth the ticket price. Tale that stake to the heart, you glowy teenage “vampires”, grrrr!!! Of course, my OWN dream project for Mr. Depp is for he and Tim Burton to get cracking on remakes of both Dr. Phibes films with perhaps a third film to make it a trilogy. Granted, I’m sure both guys would prefer a one-shot, one film deal that crams both stories into one extended movie over a sequel (or sequels) that demand geometrically increasing box-office tallies for each one made. Anyway, let me switch off my wishful thinking meter before I start going into Mega Millions mode…

 
 

TV Spot 3 is below the jump… Continue reading