1988 | "DESTROY ALL FANBOYS!"

(thanks, H83tr3d!)

Some movies are SO incredibly bad that it’s hard to hate them when you’re nearly dying from laughing so hard at and with them. 1988’s not quite epic action (yet must-see if you love really terrible films) masterpiece, Bulletproof is one of those films for a whole load of reasons from having Gary Busey as its star to the tricked out (and stupidly large) Thunderblast tank that looks as if it was designed by a room full of 12 year old boys with a box of plastic model tank kits he’s after once it’s stolen and taken to Mexico or something.

Actually, the brain-frying plot isn’t even important as much as watching Busey as Frank “Bulletproof” McBain blow away “butthorns”, survive all sorts of death threats and attempts, try hard to get the girl and even play the saxaphone at one point. You’ll probably start grinning less than two minutes in and once the laughs start, they’ll be hard to stop as one scene tops another for sheer overkill or just plain “WTF did I just watch”-ness. Of course, seeing Busey in too-tight jeans running around shooting up the scenery might put you off your food, but just watch the bodies fall or avert your eyes if you feel the need to…

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If you hate clowns for any abnormal reason, this film will probably freak every bone in your head out of your skull while making you laugh so much that you might fall off the couch and break something else. Granted, despite a bit of blood and gore it’s not really “scary” at all, but it does bring the laughs faster and furiously than some horror flicks that take themselves too seriously. The Chiodo Brothers (from up here in the Bronx, yeah!) cooked up this 1988 flick and while it didn’t become an “instant” genre classic or box office hit, for those lucky enough to catch it in theaters and later on home video, it was one of the more offbeat blends of horror, sci-fi and humor of the decade. I can recall laughing at the title before I saw this, thinking it was pretty dumb (but hey, it actually fits perfectly) and yep, I would have expected the film to be pretty dumb as well had I not been a fan of The Chido’s special effects work in another 80’s “B” film Critters, itself a bit of an underrated gem. Anyway, those Killer Klowns in the title are yes indeed, from Outer Space (their ship looks like a circus tent) and they’ve landed in tiny Crescent Cove for a midnight snack that just so happens to include the population of the sleepy little town… Continue reading →