Diablo III Officially Dated: Wake Me When There’s An Offline Solo Mode…

Yeah, yeah, I was bitching earlier about people bitching about Mass Effect 3’s ending, but this is entirely different and worth it’s own special gripe. Sure, Blizzard wants to be in better control of its long-awaited baby, but shutting out Diablo III to those who don’t have constant online connections, don’t WANT to play nice (or nasty) with others or hell, just want a game they can play when they want to without having to rely on constant updating just blows. Not everyone who wants an offline mode is a hacker, cheater (or whatever is considered “bad” for DIII) looking to bilk Blizzard. We just want to enjoy the story as solo players and not go near the Internet, that’s all.

Yes, Blizzard will make a MINT on DIII pre-sales and launch day sales and based on what I’ve seen of the beta, they deserve every penny of your hard-earned gold. However, YES, you’d better believe there will be such a download crunch-fest on and around day one that a lot of people will be screaming that they can’t get online or download the game or are suffering through whatever other issues that ALWAYS crop up in a big release like this. A lot of you guys and dolls will be doing the happy dance on May 15, 2012, but for me and a lot of other folks, it’ll be business as usual until we hear of some solution that can get us enjoying SOME form of the Diablo universe (even if it’s a console side-story set in the same period as the game).

Tinkering With The Wayback Machine…

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Heh. I’m actually STILL working on updating/fixing those 2010 and 2011 posts, so yes, those articles that are chopped of or oddly formatted WILL be fixed up as time goes on. I still don’t have that typing monkey I ordered from that old comic book, so I blame the slowness of the mail for much of this still ongoing. That and the time machine plans I bought off some stupid website didn’t work at all. I just ended up rewiring the toaster and vacuum cleaner here into a weird thing that shoots sparks and makes a lot of smoke. It also makes random old comic books fall from the sky, but they always arrive all burnt up, so there goes my chances of getting a copy of the first appearance of Superman in a decent condition…

BioWare Doesn’t Need To Do A Damn Thing About Mass Effect 3’s Ending…

Look, fans are GREAT to have, but I’m sure SOMEWHERE at BioWare, the team poring over all the hate mail feels every negative creak and groan is worse than driving a car full of sugared-up seven-year old kids to the mall on a hot Saturday afternoon. I wonder how many of these people going on and on about wanting an ending they’d LIKE would have done back in the day about books like Camille, Great Expectations, Lord Jim or even The Diary of Anne Frank.

Feh. I say strap all those folks down and force them to watch The Hidden II on a loop for a week until they see exactly what a bad ending is…

Still, I have to at least give some of these guys and gals a hearty handclasp for using this otherwise needless beef to raise money for charity.  These people may not get that alternate ending they crave so dearly, but some very deserving kids out there will get to enjoy their lives a little bit more (and that’s always a good thing)…

Big Bass Arcade: No Limit – Fast Fishing Without The Fuss

Work getting you stressed out? Need a quick vacation from the real world? Big John Games wants you to take the day off and do some fishing in its upcoming Wii exclusive. Being a big city guy, the closest I’ve actually come to fresh fish has been at a few markets, the tropical fish in an aquarium, watching Jaws too many times and almost drowning as a kid at camp. So I’m all about staying away from the water whenever possible unless I’m taking a bath… or playing a fun fishing game.  That’s the safest route for a klutz like me, as if I fall into my TV, I’ll just get a bump on the head… unless the TV falls on me after I crash into it. Ouch. Hmmm… perhaps I need a new hobby – video games are getting more dangerous it seems…

Laugh of the Day: Intel Makes Folks Go Batty For An Ultrabook

OK, how come I’m never around when one of these wacky but cool Ultrabook promos happens? I could use a new laptop myself, as I’m sure the folks at Starbucks are tired of seeing me stroll in with my desktop on a hand truck when I need to take advantage of that free Wi-Fi access. All I’ve ever gotten for free here in NYC while strolling about is a lungful of cigarette smoke from exiled office workers forced to puff away outside their workplaces. Then again, given these videos were shot in Bangkok and Jakarta, the airfare alone would break my bank account.

Ah well… at this point, I’ll take a stale muffin sample over more Marlboro clouds…