Wet | "DESTROY ALL FANBOYS!"

Platform: PS3/Xbox 360

Developer: Artificial Mind & Movement (A2M)

Publisher: Bethesda Softworks

# of Players: 1

Rating: M (Mature)

The best way to enjoy Bethesda’s new action game, WET is with tongue planted firmly in cheek, controller planted firmly in hand and butt planted firmly on couch. The game is a fun, funky mash-up of cinematic influences – Quentin Tarantino, Robert Rodriguez, John Woo and more than a few others all get riffed on here and for the most part, it works perfectly. Despite the metric tonnage of “grindhouse” gimmickry, the game manages to click from the moment you press START and the fireworks begin. With its over-saturated color palette layered with an intentionally scratchy graphics filter, actual old movie intermission reel clips and outrageous, bloody arcade-style action throughout, the visual overkill outdoes itself over and again as the levels fly past.

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PARTIAL TELEPHONE TRANSCRIPT: ONE WAY, TRACED
DATE: FRIDAY, 8/21/2009
TIME: 5:42:38 AM EST
DIALED FROM: REDACTED
DIALED TO: REDACTED
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(phone rings)
(phone rings)
(phone rings)

Hello?

No Rubi, I didn’t forget about you… it’s just been a bit busy here – one man operation and all that. Yes, dear… no, put down the gun. No, please don’t shoot up the phone like last time – I couldn’t hear right for a week. Thank you, Rubi…

What was that… there’s some static going on, what? … Yes, I’ll run those WET screenshots now.

Right, right… I know Bethesda is publishing the game and the team at A2M (also known as Artificial Mind & Movement) are developing it.

Yes, uh-huh… September 15, 2009 is the release date.

Yesssssss,I also remembered your birthday, Rubi. No, i’m not telling you what I got you… it’s a surprise. No it’s not a new knife… you “left” the last one I gave you in someone’s head, remember?

Anyway, you want me to run that press release on the blog as well? “Just the good parts?” OK. Uh-huh, right. I gotta go now – don’t want to keep a lady waiting, right?

No no! I was talking about you! Rubi, wait, don’t shoo…(*click*)

DISCONNECTED
END CONVERSATION
DATE: FRIDAY, 8/21/2009
TIME: 5:44:01 AM EST
LOGGED BY: REDACTED
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Women – can’t live with ’em, can’t live without ’em, right?. Well, at least she didn’t shoot the phone this time. Now let’s see if I can do this right: Continue reading →