STL Ocarina Reminds You That Tauriel Is a LOT Cooler Than Zamfir Will EVER Be…

Posted on December 13, 2013 by geelw

So, The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug opens in theaters today and yes indeed, STL Ocarina wants to get you in the mood for the film with a lovely little tune played by an actual elf. Okay, so it’s NOT an elf, actually… but hey, that video and tune make you BELIEVE there are and that’s all that counts, correct? And yes, you can still snap up that 6 Hole Lord of the Rings Ocarina you’ve been eyeballing. Did you know that people who play any type of musical instrument over time tend to be sharper when it comes to picking up on mistakes? Well, there’s a University of St. Andrews study that says it’s all due to learning how to play an instrument and sticking with it. Who says you can’t learn anything new these days? Now go get yourself or someone else a nice playable gift this year!

Edge of Tomorrow Trailer 1: Cruise Control, Straight Into The Future…

Posted on December 11, 2013 by geelw

SEVEN months away and they’re running trailers from what looks like a complete film? Well, this isn’t the first sci-fi flick that’s rolled out footage so early, but to me, this is Warner Bros. and Mr. Control making sure action fans get their drool on and line up like good little droogies by the time trailer 19 rolls around in a few weeks or so. Yeah, I’m no big Tom fan these days for a few reasons, but I will say this looks exciting to a point. Then again, he’s not getting any younger, so he’s going to be making with the acrobatics until someone carries him off to that other planet he thinks he’s going to be going to in real life. Eh, as long as it’s better than Elysium was. I was hitting myself in the head with a piece of popcorn that rolled under the coffee table here about an hour into that one. It’s called tough love, people…

Godzilla Teaser Trailer: Get Me A Shot Of Jaeger!

Posted on December 10, 2013 by geelw

And here you go. Not too shabby for a teaser, but we know there’s more to come. And yeah, how insane would a Godzilla/Pacific Rim crossover be? Okay, not possible at all, but it made me laugh when I overheard someone say this a few days ago. We Breaking Bad fans all KNOW Bryan Cranston’s character takes out the big lizard with either a homemade weapon rig popping out of the trunk of a car (or the back of a cargo ship) or a few pounds of freshly made ricin packed into a tasty whale carcass. Or perhaps a very large banana peel from when King Kong was stomping around in that Peter Jackson remake from earlier this century…

Anyway, more to come on this when another (longer or more thrilling) trailer drops.

The Lego Movie Videogame Trailer: Meta Enough For You? My Mind Left An Hour Ago…

Posted on December 7, 2013 by geelw

Okay. It’s a video game based on a movie about toys including many that have been the subject of entire video games. Well, at least TT Games (the folks who’ve made all those successful LEGO video games for the last few years) is on the case and what’s here will no doubt LOOK and PLAY fantastically. I’m just still not at all sold on the need for a LEGO movie, period. Yeah, yeah – it’s going to be chock full of in jokes and references up the wazoo and sure, I did chuckle a bit when watching this trailer.

However, given that LEGO fans have made more interesting (and less celebrity-filled) movies for less money (a whole lot less money that what this is costing not counting the marketing), my inner cynic has been activated for close to a year ever since I got wind of the film being made. Oh, I’m SURE this will make its money back quickly worldwide, but at the end of the day, it’s going to be a hollow shell of an experience if it’s missing even what amounts to a plastic heart at the center no matter how many writers try to slap in some sappy moments to make you tear up a wee bit. In any event, the game should either do fine or really confuse the easily confused with too many game systems, as it’s being released on no fewer than EIGHT platforms (what, NO Wii version?!). Seriously. The funniest part of the trailer for me was seeing all those game packages at the end. Collectors alert, indeed!

Eh, we’ll see what happens – maybe I just need a hug or something…

300: Rise of an Empire Trailer 2: Is It Miller Time Again? I Need A Beer…

Posted on December 4, 2013 by geelw

The funny thing about this trailer (at least to me) is the formerly innovative filming technique used so well by Frank Miller and Robert Rodriguez in Sin City, then Zach Snyder in 300 has been run so far into the ground that it’s a parody of itself to people like me who’ve seen it used and overused to assorted degrees of success and failure by a few too many directors who should know better (or just don’t). Now, as Snyder is only writing and producing this sequel, it’s all up to newcomer Noam Murro to direct himself out of the corner this comic-frame technique has placed anyone who’s used it since 2005 into. Granted, this one should be a total blockbuster because we seem to love this sort of stylized violence and all.

Nevertheless, in my case… as soon as I see or hear of a release date my home video watch clock starts a-tickin’ away with the counting down stuff and I get to take a half-assed (but sometimes reliable) guess on how long it will take before that big deal over-hyped AAA flick ends up coming to a store near you at a decent day-one discount if you pre-order…

STL Ocarina Gives You A Second Chance To Score Some Windy Treasures…

Posted on December 2, 2013 by geelw

Okay, second chances time! In case you missed STL Ocarina’s Black Friday deal, you can still score a discount TODAY in their Cyber Monday Sale! All you need to do is click on over to the official site, stick a thing or eight in your cart and use the Coupon Code: “cybermonday” to receive 10% off everything you buy!

Of course, this is valid on TODAY, Dec 2, 2014 only! And guess what? YOU can STILL get a whopping 40% off these ocarinas:

12 Hole Plastic Soprano Ocarina

12 Hole DIY Tenor Ocarina

12 Hole Horn Tenor Ocarina

Okay, my good deed for the morning is DONE. I’m going to sleep – I think there will be an elf blowing a dreamy little tune or something…

STL Ocarinas Have You Middle-Earth Fans In Mind This Holiday Season…

Posted on November 15, 2013 by geelw

While licensed movie swag is indeed cool to buy and own, in some cases, specifically with fantasy films like The Hobbit or The Lord of the Rings trilogy it can get you into a good deal of trouble under the wrong conditions. Granted, a nifty T-shirt, cap or other wearable isn’t going to cause anyone grief at all (unless you’re wearing all that to some sort of formal dress meeting), but that replica sword and shield? Yeah, try toting those down the street on a fine day and you’ll be face down on the pavement surrounded by the local gendarme. Fortunately, the fine folks at STL Ocarina has an option that will not only keep you OUT of trouble, it might garner you some local fans in the process.

Their 6 Hole Lord of the Rings Shield Ocarina ($32.99) plays in C5 to E6 pitch and is a perfect gift for yourself or anyone who wants a little more music in their life. Don’t know how to play the ocarina? No worries there, chief. You can actually download free tablatures from STL’s website and learn anywhere you can carry that new tune-maker you’ve just picked up or gotten as a gift. Other than being terminally lazy, you have no excuse not to, I say. With your new instrument (which, by the way is made of high quality ceramic and comes in a gorgeous black and silver) you can soothe a few savage breasts, perhaps charm some rodents to follow you out of town to the nearest body of deep water (whereupon you’ll find that they actually swim pretty well – they’ll thank you for that trip to the lake or beach, by the way) and probably make some new friends in the process.

STl also has a load of other fine ocarina from plastic to video game and comic licensed to collectible artisan-quality models, all of which should please that person looking for something unique this holiday season (or any other time, for that matter). So you know what to do, right? Of course, if you run into any wayward gold-hoarding dragons in your travels, you’d better hope that you’ve learned to playing something really cool on that new Ocarina. I think it will survive the fire blast pretty well, but it doesn’t make much of a decent shield unless you’re just under 3.5 inches tall and can hide behind it…

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug Sneek Peek: Second Verse, Not Quite Same As The First…

Posted on November 4, 2013 by geelw

So, now that this two-parter is a three-parter, I have to ask if it still draw in the millions of fans the original The Lord of the Rings trilogy did. Granted, a third part means MORE of the book on board and hopefully an even closer to Tolkien film. On the other hand, I know the book loyalists have been shaking their fists at the screen or in Peter Jackson’s general direction since the first Rings film hit theaters and I don’t think they plan to stop any time soon. Granted, these films do a bit of public service by giving the truly lazy a chance to see what they won’t read (and thus fail any real life book reports they need to write in the future – lesson NEVER write a book report from any movie – your teachers who’ve read those books WILL know). But then again, if you’re THAT shiftless, you’ll probably be snoozing in your seat before the first half hour is over and done.

Hey, I’ve been in theaters many times over the years and have sat close to young people who thought they could actually get away with that trickery and I’ve always laughed a bit at what I know the results will be. Hell, chances are that teacher is in a different theater (or worse, the same one) taking mental notes on exactly what to look out for in those shorthanded reports. So yeah, kids… READ MORE BOOKS! There’s nothing wrong with a grand epic at all mind you… unless you’re planning to play it off as actual studying and not supplemental material once you’ve done the work. That’s your life lesson for the day…

The Hobbit: The Desplation of Smaug TV Spot 3: This One Better Not Be Draggin’…

Posted on October 14, 2013 by geelw

Okay, so I finally caught The Hobbit on HBO when it premiered on Saturday and yes, I fell asleep about 25 minutes in. That was bad, however I did wake up about 25 or so minutes later and sat through the rest of the film, save for a quick break to boil some water for tea. Granted, I was a bit sick and a little bit tired from the cold that was knocking me around, but still… the film did drag-on a bit (yeah, that’s supposed to be a pun). I liked it overall, but after that blazing opening sequence it took a while to get going again then between jokes it’s pretty much a non-interactive CG movie that winds its way up, down and all around to that ending where you just so happen to look at your watch and realize as Smaug’s eye opens and the credits roll that you’ll need to come back to that theater to see what happens thanks to that big dragon not quite revealing himself. I’m gathering this sequel will have TOO much of Smaug for some tastes… but in my opinion there’s no such thing as too much of any dragon (unless it’s that damn purple dinosaur Barney trying to pretend he’s one)…

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug TV Spots 1 & 2: Only A Year (Or Less) ‘Til Cable!

Posted on October 8, 2013 by geelw

OK, don’t shoot me, movie people. I’ve decided to wait until this one pops up on cable TV, as the first film is (not so surprisingly) premiering later this month (on HBO, I think). So much for the normal waiting time that used to be at least a year or so after a major film hit theaters. At this point, it’ll seem to some as if the only reason to go to the movies is just to get out of the house and see a flick on something larger than that already too large HDTV you may own (or the big wall you project movies on). OK, widescreen is also a good reason, but most new films are ending up premiering in that theatrical format to the point that I get annoyed when I see a recent or older film that SHOULD be in that aspect ratio run as a crappy pan & scan version. B to the O to the O, cable and movie people who still do that crap. Even an old analog set can play a widescreen movie in letterbox format, so enough with the old versions already, I say. The ONLY films that need to fill up my screen like that are the classics TCM shows that weren’t originally shot that way. OK, old cartoons and classic TV get a pass as well.

Of course, if you’re impatient or just love seeing films on a big screen with hordes of smelly humans around you, The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug opens in theaters on December 13, 2013. Everyone else, set your clocks…