Eep, Opp, Ork, Ugh. To quote a certain dark Jedi, NOOOOOOOOOO!
OK, I automatically shut down the thought of even looking at any images or reading up on a lot of info when George Lucas sold off Star Wars to Disney, but this picture popped up in an email I got the other day and it made me laugh and cringe simultaneously because a few years back it would have been someone really good with Photoshop who cooked this up and not the reality it’s turned out to be…
(thanks, awesomelybadcrap!)
Well, “bad” being relative. OK, it had Twiki from that awful as hell Buck Rogers in the 25th Century show from the 80’s (and by “awful”, I mean I watched it every freakin’ week hoping to hell it would get better). I stuck around for the effects and hated the acting, cheap costumes and most of all that cross between R2-D2 and Tattoo from Fantasy Island, Twiki. Despite (or because) of the late Mel Blanc voicing the robot as if he was a Borscht Belt Looney Tunes character, that tacky as hell gold paint job and the fact that for some reason, he got a love interest (what, there was an affirmative action program for little people on TV shows back then?). Anyway, I guess it wasn’t that bad a dream as I didn’t drop dead in my sleep…
That only happens if I dream of Jason of Star Command:
(thanks, AgentX35!)
Yaaaaaaah!!!
Ay, Carumba! OK, Nintendo, just stop it. STOP IT. Seriously. People thought the 2DS was a big fat joke because it had been done to death as a joke meme when the 3DS was announced, but you guys ended up taking that back with last week’s official 2DS announcement. Of course, that led to MANY Nintendo 1DS joke images that got lame after the first dozen or so images, but here comes Nintendo, pulling off the biggest joke with an actual fake site for a nonexistent device that will to some people who think it’s actually a great idea, something they’d actually want to buy. Duh. Yeah, and yep, there’s a disclaimer on the site that’s worth a chuckle, yet insulting at the same time to anyone not used to Nintendo’s way of following their own path and ignoring the mobile market (for now).
Anyway, yuk it up while you can, people – when your fans start clamoring for that 1DS, you’ll wish you’d never cooked up this shortsighted gag…
Ah, ha-ha… *ahem!* OK, I’ll stop kicking Nintendo in the shins and say, YES, I will be buying that Legend of Zelda Windwaker HD remake later this year when it comes out along with Watch_Dogs and maybe The Wonderful 101 (although it’s not doing well in Japan, according to a few import sites that report sales figures) and Call of Duty: Ghosts (for the novelty of playing on that GamePad), but other than that, it’s pretty much collecting a few older Wii U titles from that launch window I missed out on now that they’re a lot cheaper. And in some cases a LOT cheaper than they should be so soon in the system’s life…
Ah ha, ha, ha. I just HAD to go there because it’s TOO obvious a joke these days if you’re a Wii U owner. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Nintendo is playing its cards as they usually do, but as a formerly ecstatic Wii U owner since launch day turned slightly sleepy and a tad grumpy, let’s just say I’m not getting as much use out of my console as I’d like to.
Granted, the good stuff is coming and a few really cool third party games have kept me busy for sure. However, there needs to be something big and non-retread-y coming from first and third party studios that’s going to knock my socks off or I’ll be snoozing next to Luigi and grabbing blankets like an icy cold M-F. Ah ha, ha…h…*yawn!* THUD! ZZZZZZZ!!!…
(Well, at least I’m a tired but hopeful Wii U owner…)
Yay! But also *Yawn…* Look, Sony. Every gamer with an internet connection of any speed or two tin cans and a long enough string KNOWS you’re working on a fancy new console. So all this going to extremes to run possible teasers that may or may not be official reveals for more reveals as 2013 spools out is a bit silly. Well, at least I think it is. On the other hand, E3 is such a waste of time and money and has degenerated into less of a trade show and more of a fan convention with people lining up for free crap. It’s all long lines and loud, noisy bunch of annoying kids running around posing as game journalists and breaking any embargo or NDA they can sign, a few too many demos made by developers who hate making them in such a short time for the show, too many big, expensive parties, some of which are basically early funerals for developers who don’t make the Metacritic average once their expensive to produce and promote games are released to a too jaded audience that doesn’t really know what it wants because all they demand are more sequels… Continue reading
This time, let’s talk briefly about pain management before moving on to today’s lesson. For this first part of the class, you’ll need a hammer and a hand. Yours, specifically, so you should have two. One-handed gamers are excused from this part of the lesson (unless you can hold a hammer in your prosthetic hand or have a friend who won’t mind lending a hand). Now, on the count of three, raise the hammer and hit your free hand… oh, somewhere around the thumb is fine. Not too hard, now.
Ready? One, Two, Three!
Oops.
As you can probably guess, most of you didn’t actually hit your hands. This is indeed a wise thing. Those of you who did are in a lot of pain and probably wondering why the other 99 percent of the class isn’t joining you curled up in a ball under their seats…
"DESTROY ALL FANBOYS!" 