So, what’s up with FBI Special Agent Francis York Morgan (just call him York!) today you ask? well, as you can see, the man NEEDS a car. Badly. Not because he’s got a line on that axe-wielding Red Seeds Killer, mind you. He got some spectacular news not too long ago and really wants to take a little drive out of Greenvale for a bit. Why? Well, dear reader… he just found out that there’s not a single video game shop in that sleepy, scenic little town and there’s a little something he needs to pick up for himself for when he’s finally got some down time. Hey, everyone needs a hobby and yep, York’s got a few of them. He loves good coffee, a ton of movies (good, bad and otherwise), pretty ladies to chat with over good coffee, some odd music and video games. And ladies, he’s sort of single the last time I checked. Well, save for Zach, his mysterious invisible friend who tags along with him and who he talks to on occasion. Sure, he’s quirky like that, but I bet YOU have a few things that you do when no one is looking that are a bit on the unusual side… Anyway, toss that man some keys, please – he’s got a long drive ahead of him.

You, on the other hand don’t even need to leave the comfort of your own home if you’ve already pre-ordered a copy of Deadly Premonition: The Director’s Cut, coming exclusively to the PS3 from Rising Star Games. Featuring over 100 improvements from the original, Upgraded HD visuals, PlayStation Move and 3D TV support, optional DLC that extends the gameplay, plus MORE. I say pick up two copies and give one to that jaded gamer you know who’s always whining about the games he likes being too short or more of the same or both. Once that pal fires this one up, he’ll want to become a permanent resident of Greenvale. Er, I’d wait until that Red Seeds Killer gets his and those pesky Shadows go away, as you don’t want to end up THAT permanent a resident… if you know what I mean…

Of course, Game Director supreme (and the honorary mayor/sheriff/bar owner/best tipping A&G Diner patron of Greenvale) Swery 65 hopes you’ll all buy at least one copy of this game just so he can finally get some much-needed rest from all that traveling around promoting this instant horror/comedy/adventure classic. It’s definitely hard enough work MAKING a game, but the touring gets tiring even with the best coffee in the world popping up like clockwork on a regular basis to keep him awake. You don’t want to disappoint him now, do you? I sure don’t…

Hmmm… for a big deal FBI Special Agent, Francis York Morgan (just call him York!) can occasionally be as clueless as a headless chicken. A frozen headless chicken, at that. Case in point: today, he’s been running all around Greenvale’s lush outdoors looking to wrap up a few loose ends in his Red Seeds Killer case file, but there’s been NO ONE around to talk to. Let’s just say that the man is even more confused than usual and it took him the better part of the day to figure out what was going on. If only he’d thought about backtracking to where he started his day at the A&G Diner, he’d have seen that most of the townsfolk were hanging out there waiting to surprise a certain special someone with a big blowout birthday party… and it wasn’t York!

Which, by the way is a damn good thing, as he won’t roll back thataway for something like another two hours to grab a cup of that great coffee they make. And boy will he be surprised when he finds his mystery for the day is partially his fault. Hmmm… I hope he at least remembered to bring a gift. Something old from the glove compartment just won’t do at all…

I know you forget things too (as do I), but you’d better NOT forget to PRE-ORDER a copy of Deadly Premonition: The Director’s Cut, coming exclusively to the PlayStation 3 on April 30, 2013 from Rising Star Games. Featuring over 100 improvements from the original, Upgraded HD visuals, PlayStation Move and 3D TV support plus MORE, this is going to be a gaming experience that you (wait for it) won’t soon forget (ba-dum-bum!). Thank you, thank you… I’ll be here all week. No cover charge, two cup of coffee minimum!

Speaking of coffee and surprises… I actually needed MORE last week when I noted it was Game Director Swery 65’s birthday. OOPS. It’s actually tomorrow (or is that TODAY in Japan?) and I thought of a great present for him… but Rising Star games beat me to it because they weren’t running around Greenvale and had the time and money to have these AWESOME themed mini-Espresso jars and an A&G Diner mug made up for the birthday boy! Awesome. Of course, NOW I need to get my grubby paws on some of that coffee swag and that mug, but I’ll probably have to settle for pretending I’m in Greenvale and hanging out after the party is over. Hopefully, that stupid Red Seeds Killer won’t muck things up and all those creepy looking Shadows will be well-behaved…

Another Sunday in Greenvale, another cup of coffee for FBI Special Agent Francis York Morgan (just call him York!) as he’s still in town on the hunt for the Red Seeds Killer. Speaking of coffee, there’s a jukebox under an old green sheet in the basement of the Swery 65 Bar that used to be in the A&G Diner for about thirty years until it was moved a few months back. It was supposed to go upstairs IN the bar proper, but it was damaged in transit and is a bit to expensive to repair. If you were to get it running and feeling a bit moody, you’d probably drop a quarter in and play B17 first, which just so happens to be “You’re So Vain” by Carly Simon. You know, that song with the lyric that goes:

“I had some dreams, they were clouds in my coffee
Clouds in my coffee, and…”

Interestingly enough, as York is sitting there contemplating, Bonnie Tyler’s “Clouds in My Coffee” just so happens to be playing in the background. THAT song isn’t quite the classic Simon’s tune is, but it does have this line going for it:

“The reflection I saw in your coffee
Was a bitter reflection of me”

Does this mean anything at all? Probably not. Nevertheless, it’s just a bit more serendipity to keep an otherwise sleepy Sunday rolling along. Coffee makes a terribly ineffective mirror, by the way. The image that looks back at you is always ugly or murky and constantly changing. Which is why one drinks it to enjoy what’s IN the cup and not on the surface…

By the way, if you’re NOT a coffee drinker, I’d say playing Deadly Premonition: The Director’s Cut, coming exclusively to the PlayStation 3 from Rising Star Games, will drive you to drink some. Featuring Featuring over 100 improvements over the original game, refined HD graphics, PlayStation Move and 3D TV support, all-new DLC and more, you’ll be staying awake ’til the wee hours saying “just ten more minutes…” as you put on a fresh pot when the clock strikes midnight. And if you’re not a caffeine fiend at all, I’m sure you’ll find some other way to stay away that’s legal and somewhat aromatically addictive… Anyone for a nice peppermint tea with ginger?

I know for a fact that Game Director Swery 65 loves coffee quite a lot, but I don’t know what’s his favorite brand or how he takes it. Then again, that’s a bit creepy to know that much about a person you don’t PERSONALLY know (well, I think so). However… as we all (well all us caffeine addicts out there) know, your favorite barista at the local coffee emporium probably knows way too much about you and your personal preferences than your closest relative, spouse (if you have one) or psychiatrist (if you have one). Now, THAT’S what I call creepy. But that black gold is oh, so delicious (dilate, dilate, smile…)

As far as I can tell, Greenvale doesn’t have much of an art “scene”, but if you look around, you’ll see art in the strangest places. Sure, you can stroll about and see the occasional park sketch artist of passers-by and trees and such, and yes indeed there are pet painters and a few brave folks who paint in public for all to admire (or not). But I’d say the most gruesomely gorgeous art has to be by the Red Seeds Killer, who’s a bit hard to track down for a one-on-one interview session. Granted, posing for one of his works means you’re probably not going to make it home for supper, but chalk that up to him being a truly modern artist reinventing the medium on a few levels because he refuses to die for his art like some have done in the past. Of course, killing one’s models in order to create is kind of a not so nice way to make a living, so it’s a great thing he’s only in a very strange video game and not a real-life personality. Er, don’t go telling this to FBI Special Agent Francis York Morgan (just call him York!), as I think that would upset his investigation somewhat…

Can you EVEN imagine a documentary about an artist who kills his or her subjects but becomes hugely popular because of that way of making art? Yikes. Of course, this isn’t going to happen (well, not THIS year), but you can kinda sorta pretend you’re part of a crazy performance art piece when you play Deadly Premonition: The Director’s Cut, headed exclusively to the PlayStation 3 from Rising Star Games. Featuring over 100 improvements over the original game, refined HD graphics, PlayStation Move and 3D TV support, all-new DLC and more, it’s basically an art appreciation AND game appreciation class all in one for less than it costs to hit a few real museums (well, if you only go to museums where you have to pay admission to get in)…

Speaking of artistic things, Game Director Swery 65 often gets into the picture in a few ways even if he’s not doing anything but waking up in the morning. Thanks to his controversial creation, fans are always sending him artwork of all types and to any creative person,  this sort of praise by creation is more often than not a welcome thing to experience. If I were a LOT less busy strolling around Greenvale and seeing the sights, I’d try and whip up a little something of my own to share with him. But alas, I’m so tied up with stuff to do that I can barely get these daily updates out on time. Man, if I could only think up SOMETHING clever to show him I’m just as big a fan of his work as anyone. Hmmm… I’ll come up with some way one of these days….