Meddling Kids | "DESTROY ALL FANBOYS!"

… Oh, just they all WAIT until they have to start paying back those student loans. Mua-ha-ha-ha-haaaaa! Yeah, who’s REALLY peeing their pants NOW, huh? I bet some of your parents will be watching you scream in this video and wonder if that’s all the hell you did for four (or more) years. Damn kids. OK, maybe I’m jealous that I never get invited to these screenings like the over-privileged youth of to-day. Bleh. All kidding aside, I’m glad this reboot is freaking people out, as it makes me want to see it sooner than later. THAT said, I’ll probably stick it out for the Blu-Ray set with all those juicy behind the scenes bits, as I just hate leaving the theater thinking I’m missing something. Then again, a few pints of pee are never missed and I won’t need to bring a change of underwear to the theater. Or something like that. April 5, people. Go get in line somewhere and defend that spot with your lives. I have the feeling that if you don’t go see this movie… it will come looking for you.

Hmmm… Shouldn’t it be “College Screening Reaction”? That sounds more correct (and I never went to college!)

Now, I’m not one of those folks who believes dropping a kid in front of a TV playing PBS for an hour or two is a bad thing, but THIS crap? Or more precisely, THIS crapper? No. Hell no. No, No and NO. Sure, I get my best thinking done on the can, but dammit, a freakin’ TODDLER needs to concentrate on learning the basics of taking a good and safe poop, not helping his or her entire family contract a nasty case of whatever they deserve to get from handling an iPad that’s going to be Germ Central Station the minute some dopey hipster parent looks away at their phone (or lawd help them, reaches for that damn phone to snap a picture of the kid using the thing to post on Facebook) and Junior wipes a stinky hand all over the screen. Eww (even if it has a screen protector included). What’s the shelf life on stupid ideas? Bet you a dime this gets recalled at some point or just tanks flat out. Save your $39.99 and thank me later, folks.