Crow Pie Chronicles (Or I’m Glad To Be Wrong About): The Lego Movie

 
YUM! I said I’d eat a crow pie if I was wrong about The Lego Movie not sucking and yep, I’m a man of my word, although I had to substitute some of my not yet world famous chicken for “crow” and a few slices of whole grain bread for “pie”. Anyway, it’s good to see this one netting nice notices so now I need to see it at some point and make sure all those critics weren’t sucking in the happy gas WB pumped into those free screenings I didn’t get an invite to (boo!). Since I’ve been ignoring the film for the most part, I’m going in blind other than what I’ve seen on those TV spots popping up all over the place every few seconds. I still think it’ll be well over the heads of anyone over ten years old who won’t get all the references and in-jokes, but that’s probably me underestimating the kids of the hipsters and boomers taking them to see this.

 
And wait, wha-whaaaat? There’s a video game based on the film as well? I did predict this last year or earlier, but I’m actually surprised that there was one made because that’s just TOO meta at the end of the day. Anyway, you KNOW a movie is going to be worth seeing when Fox News has a shit fit about it for all the wrong reasons. They seem to believe that a movie made to get people to run out and spend money to see it (and the tie in toys AND the game that’s made for the same purpose) is somehow teaching kids to be “anti-capitalist” (wha-whaaaat?)… despite the OBVIOUS hundreds of millions this will rake in for a few big corporations. As the kids say, DERP.

Yeah, they’re quite stupid over there and I wish they’d stop it. But it’s interesting watching them hang themselves by their own rope every day they keep the blood pressure of their viewership headed through the roof over trifling nonsense. Perhaps they all need to chill for a bit and actually go see some of the stuff they bitch and moan about as bad for Amurrrrica? That would be my prescription…

The Lego Movie Videogame Trailer: Meta Enough For You? My Mind Left An Hour Ago…

Okay. It’s a video game based on a movie about toys including many that have been the subject of entire video games. Well, at least TT Games (the folks who’ve made all those successful LEGO video games for the last few years) is on the case and what’s here will no doubt LOOK and PLAY fantastically. I’m just still not at all sold on the need for a LEGO movie, period. Yeah, yeah – it’s going to be chock full of in jokes and references up the wazoo and sure, I did chuckle a bit when watching this trailer.

However, given that LEGO fans have made more interesting (and less celebrity-filled) movies for less money (a whole lot less money that what this is costing not counting the marketing), my inner cynic has been activated for close to a year ever since I got wind of the film being made. Oh, I’m SURE this will make its money back quickly worldwide, but at the end of the day, it’s going to be a hollow shell of an experience if it’s missing even what amounts to a plastic heart at the center no matter how many writers try to slap in some sappy moments to make you tear up a wee bit. In any event, the game should either do fine or really confuse the easily confused with too many game systems, as it’s being released on no fewer than EIGHT platforms (what, NO Wii version?!). Seriously. The funniest part of the trailer for me was seeing all those game packages at the end. Collectors alert, indeed!

Eh, we’ll see what happens – maybe I just need a hug or something…

LEGO: The Movie Trailer: So, It’s Not A Joke After All? Ho-kay…


 
Yikes and “Hmmmmmm…” Here we go. OK, folks – given the quality of some fan-made Lego movies (go hit the YouTube at your leisure and see for yourself), the very idea of spending a TON of loot for a CG film and all that expensive voice talent just makes me cringe a wee it too much. Yeah, it looks funny and yes indeed, LEGO probably got all the proper clearances for all those characters in one internet video conference call. Still, there’s something… off about this flick that I’ll most likely not see at all in a theater, but catch on the cable rebound circuit and think it’s not too bad at all (but still wonder if some super-fan could have done it for a few hundred bucks over the course of a few weekends)… as usual, we shall see…

Wait, What? They’re Making A Lego Movie? Argh, But Go Enter The Vehicle Design Contest (With A Caveat)…

 

Yeesh. OK, that’s it, my childhood gets another kick to the groin. Can we kind of put a halt to some of the more obviously stupid film ideas coming out of Hollywood these days? Look, I liked LEGOs as a kid and as an adult, I can still really enjoy some of the more creative uses for them (I’m talking about art-wise, silly!) as well as a bunch of the better LEGO video games. But really? A movie? Why? Because someone thought since the games are so hip and fresh and whatever and make millions and LEGO still sells well across all ages that somehow, taking the interactivity away from them and forcing people to sit on their asses for two hours and watch whatever the sixteen or so screenwriters (which is probably a low estimate on my part) come up with to make millions want that time and ticket fee back? Ugh. Count me out, but I’ll catch it on cable if I’m sick and can’t get out of bed.

Anyway, go enter the vehicle contest if you like, but If you DO win, remember this nugget of truth: a mere thousand bucks and signing your rights away for eternity is a shitty deal no matter how you slice it. If I’m dead wrong and this flick manages to rake in the bazillions, that one grand winner will be losing out on a nice chunk of change for not getting a better cut of the film’s profits. Oh, and if there’s a LEGO: The Movie: The Video Game, I’m going to be making fun of it daily until WB sends Bane and The Joker after me. Travelers Tales has MUCH better things to be doing with their time, I say…