Things I Know Exist But Am Baffled By: Prescription 3D Glasses!

Hobbit_Oakleys 
I recall being at a trade show back around 2006 or 2007 and overheard some people talking about the prescription 3D glasses or lenses for moviegoers. I laughed at that because 3D has always been a few year fad that fades away as interest wanes and money goes down the drain, but it seems I was off a bit. Yes, Virginia, you CAN get a pair of actual prescription glasses like these Oakleys from a few places for your movie and TV watching pleasure. Wow. Granted, like actual modern 3D glasses, they’re one hundred percent useless for walking down the street, so if you spring for the super cool Hobbit or Transformers frames, no one will see them in a dark theater unless you buy your ticket beforehand, whip out your shades, make a clever joke and put them on like you’re on an episode of CSI. (Yeaaaaaaaaahhhh!).

 
Of course, the oh, so painful downside of looking so cool at a price is the other price of falling down that long escalator up to the theater as you’re trying to impress people with your specs but can’t see a few steps in front of you. Just remember, when you DO fall, try to tuck and roll – being curled up in the fetal position at the bottom of that escalator makes it easier for the paramedics to do their thing. And if you DO fall, and don’t get a scratch on you?

Well, I guess you can just call it a case of… blind luck! (Yeaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!)

Dracula 3D Trailer: If This One Sucks, The Punsters Won’t Have Far to Look For Work…

(thanks, CineFix!) 

Hmmm… has adding the term “3D” to ANY film actually made it better? I can say a hearty “nope” and be smugly satisfied with that, but I know some of you will note that animated films get away with this all the time. OK, you may win on that technicality, so let’s narrow it down a wee bit: Has adding the term “3D” to any HORROR film actually made it better? Or are you just sitting there watching stuff fly at your face while wearing silly glasses and not really being scared? I thought so. Okay, maybe that gimmick DOES work in a few flicks, but Dracula shouldn’t be one of them. Oh well, I still think Asia Argento probably deserves much better work these days that being stuck in the upteenth reworking of Bram Stoker’s classic vampire tale, but I’ll hold off putting a stake through this one until I see it for myself… on cable.

Hey Lukewarm Games! You’re Lucky I Like Dinosaurs…

As I noted last week, this whole Harlem Shake thing is SO played out, but toss in a couple of dinosaurs and I get all “Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in…” about this dopey fad. Well, it works with THESE dinosaurs. Hell, if it were Barney or any other purple dinosaur out there, I’d be beating my laptop with a baseball bat and suing someone so I can buy a new one. Anyway, OK – I laughed… but this is the last time I’m going to watch one of these videos. Maybe…

Hey, Lukewarm! Maybe think a tiny bit about getting your nifty-looking multiplayer-centric game Primal Carnage onto consoles and the Vita with a solo play campaign so I can finally play this game. It looks like a ton of fun, but I don’t do online gaming much (crap connection and I prefer games with stories to keep me interested more than running around shooting stuff)…

OK, Enough With The Harlem Shake, Already (Pretty Please)…

 

I’m SO glad I’m not eternally glued to YouTube (or wherever pit of people with too much time on their hands hang out) and I really don’t care where this latest “Hey, everybody lookit me make a fool of myself!” craze came from. Harlem Shake? I got a Harlem Shake right here for you… OK, call me cranky (and I’m pleased to meet you), but I actually used to LIVE in Harlem and the only folks I saw shakin’ were the crack addicts and winos when I was on the way to the subway and back from work every day. Yeah, I said it! And it’s actually true. Well, that was the 1990’s for ya, kids… the stories I could tell!  Get the heck off the table (you dancing fool) and into your jammies and I’ll put you to sleep with a short one…
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