A Winter’s Tale, By Simon Bar Sinister…

(Thanks, bullwinklecanada!) 

Ah, so THAT explains everything. Well, sort of. This snow we’ve gotten around here has been odd for a few interesting reasons. Sure, it’s winter, but it’s not a normal winter at all, kids. In fact, I’ll bet you an old penny that Simon Bar Sinister has a big Polar Vortex machine up in a lab somewhere and it’s getting a hell of a workout all of a sudden. Someone call Underdog (again!), as that man needs his butt kicked but good. And Cad? Yeah, buddy… you’re going down as well, grrrr…

I Dream of Tee Vee #2: Speed Racer, Menace to Motorsport!

 
Even as a kid, the opening credits to Speed Racer had me cracking up each time I saw Speed pretty much commit cartoon vehicular homicide on a daily basis when he rammed a fellow driver through a guard rail and sent him sailing off the track and crashing into the background (check out that evidence above). What I didn’t know at that time was that was the US version of the credits and in Japan, Speed was even more of a merry murderer. Granted, the other guys he kills in the original opening sequence below kind of deserve it for shooting at him and his shiny, gadget-packed Mach 5 (do you know how much it costs to replace that fancy curved windshield?). But I’d have simply dialed up the track police or something, pointed my car cam their way and shown what was happening rather that destroy a priceless fossil and kill them outright.

 
Of course, the body count on that old anime was hilariously large in just about every race to the point that I’m surprised whatever body that sanctioned those events wasn’t sued by next of kin and spectators who may have been “wiped out” in a wreck or by flaming debris flying into the stands. Just Google up “Mammoth Car” and see what I mean. I’d post part of that episode here, but I don’t want you kids up past your bedtimes. It IS a school night, you know…