20 | September | 2016 | "DESTROY ALL FANBOYS!"

Annnnd, the saga continues…

Tuesday. It’s the same as Monday, but a day later. I actually had to go back to the post office this morning to send out a package (some new Mac power cables I had no use for as I don’t own a Mac), and ha, bloody ha-ha, the same guy at the inquiry window yesterday just so happened to be working the regular window I ended up at. Of course, he recognized me right away and as I step up to the counter with my little box of cables, I get a “Hey, how’s it going?” followed by a “Did the package arrive yet?”

PAUSE.

(Remember folks, this is the same guy who tells me yesterday that my package had been sent or was in the process of being sent BACK to where it came from. Now, unless the return trip was via TARDIS and my box whipped its way back from its original location to my doorstep within 24 hours (and it hasn’t, dear reader)… That would be a NO).

PLAY.

(Thanks, The Thing Legacy!)

I tell him “No, it hasn’t”, thinking maybe he’ll realize that’s a rather dumb question to ask. Let’s just say I was so annoyed that I didn’t realize I paid $7.05 to send a package Priority Mail instead of the under $4 it should have cost for First Class. Ugh. Well, dammit… GRRRRR!

Feh, at least it’ll get there faster. No wait, I just checked out of curiosity. It’ll be the same three days. Well, just… damn it all.

Okay, I think I need a drink now:

(Thanks, sambosez!)

I was too worn out from being up too late worrying about my backlog and other stuff to have my head explode like yesterday, but fair warning: Day 3 may be that day you all want to duck and cover into your bunkers with those old Civil Defense helmets on and a week’s supply of hardtack, beans and plenty of fresh drinking water.

Back in a bit…

*It’s actually day NINE of this nonsense, as the box hit the routing hub on the 11th.

Bravo, Santa Ragione and Brava, Lella! This driving sim/adventure hybrid’s a definite Game of the Year contender that will make those who “get” it want to crack open a few books and do some heavy reading and/or thinking.

Platform: PC (also on Mac/Linux/PS4/Xbox One)
Developer: Santa Ragione
Publisher: Santa Ragione
Release Date: 9/20/2016
# of Players: 1
MSRP: $9.99
ESRB Rating: N/A
Official Site
Score: A (95%) BUY IT!

Calling Santa Ragione’s outstanding Wheels of Aurelia a simple “driving simulation” is REALLY selling it short. This brilliantly conceived hybrid game is more of a mature “choose your own path conversation-based adventure that just so happens to take place in a almost constantly moving car” with 16 possible outcomes and more than that many ways to reach them. From the beautiful stylized simplicity of the art, the great soundtrack (buy it!) that captures the spirit of late 70’s Italian radio tracks, and the mature script that may rankle a few overly sensitive types while striking others as flat out fantastic and thought-provoking.

Save for the ride you choose, the game’s opening is exactly the same each time. In 1978, Lella and Olga, two young Italian ladies who met the previous evening at a disco, set out on a road trip to France on the Via Aurelia along the western coast of Italy. Along the way, the pair talk about life, pick up a hitchhiker or two (or none – it’s up to you) and based on the path both the conversation and car takes, the game reaches a conclusion in all of 15 minutes or so. 16 endings at 15 minutes each ends up at 4 hours total playtime IF you’re silly enough to think you’ll see every conversation and character variant possible. The combination of period-era history, frankly spoken dialogue and some VERY interesting hitchhikers make this very replayable as well as a great exercise in storytelling.