TGS 2013: Ah, So… THAT’S What a Lily Bergamo Is… Maybe.

Well, OK… I still don’t know what this is other than the first PlayStation 4 game coming from Grasshopper Manufacture and Suda 51 for GungHo Online Entertainment. That one-two punch, by the way, means you’ll be getting a truly wild experience that has to be played to be believed. I think this is only the third game they’ve done with a sole female lead (if you count Sine Mora), so there’s another interesting thing to consider (at least if you’re like me). According to Gematsu, Lily Bergamo is an online action game meant to be played with smartphones and the PS4, but if that is indeed the case, I need to get someone over at GungHo and grasshopper to realize that the VITA needs to be in that mix somewhere, as it’s quite silly to skip something so obvious that even someone as dumb as me has figured out from early on (that the Vita needs MORE cool games like this!). And oh yeah, that gal in the teaser isn’t named Lily or Bergamo. She’s called Tae Ioroi, meaning now I’m all confused again about just what the heck this game is all about (and why it’s not coming to the obvious Vita or slightly less obvious upcoming Vita TV “console”). Eh, it’s still quite early in development and yep, things will change for better or worse (or somewhere in between as a happy middle ground)…

Adventure Time: Explore the Dungeon Because I DON’T KNOW! Hands-On: Knowing Is Half the Battle (But You Still Need To Fight!)

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Adventure Time_CharactersFACT: D3Publisher of America’s new publicist, Edith Yang is a total hoot, sitting there cheerily playing and promoting Adventure Time: Explore the Dungeon Because I DON’T KNOW! clearly knowing it’s got “Sleeper Hit” stamped on it in big red invisible neon ink letters. I have special glasses, so I can see that on the big banner off to one side with the game logo on it. I say nothing about these glasses as I’m not wearing any and don’t want to sound completely insane by stating the opposite. But I digress…

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Earth Defense Force 2025 Hands-On: Bug Blasting 101, On a Few Cool Fronts…

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City InsectD3Publisher of America rolled into NYC last week with its small but awesome holiday games lineup and of course, as Earth Defense Force 2025 was going to be there, I had to make sure I got some quality time with the in-progress US localization. I’ve been playing the Japanese PS3 version since mid-July and had some time with the Xbox 360 import thanks to a friend who owns a Japanese 360, so I was more than ready to hop into the US version with relish.

D3PoA had a 360 set up for split-screen co-op play complete with English menus and plenty of enthusiastic voice acting fans of the series will crack plenty of smiles over. The game also has wide appeal outside that dedicated niche thanks to its addictive pick up and play simplicity, five difficulty levels, some amazingly tough missions that range in length and plenty of visual upgrades from earlier games in the series.

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Escape Plan TV Spot #1: No Movie For Old Men… Uh, Oh… Too Late!

Or “I’m Getting Too Old For This $#!t!”. Or “Stop, Or My Hip Will Go Out!”. or “Aged Whine and Cheese”… and so forth and so on (I thought up about fifteen other titles). Yeesh, I don’t know who the target audience for this is other than those in on the joke or delusional people close to my age who still think these two aging granite-faced coots are going to be doing stunt work they’ve never done previously AND making a decent movie chewing up the same scenery together. Then again… I bet no one is seeing this for the “acting”, right? RIGHT?!

Yeah, I thought so…

Hmmm. If it were a flick packed with more former action heroes around the same age in that space prison trying to get out, mayyyyyyyyybe it would be good for a chuckle. On the other hand… that’s probably the plot of The Expendables 7, coming to a theater near you in oh, about three years (or two, if it’s straight to video, no chaser)…