Spike TV | "DESTROY ALL FANBOYS!"

OK kids… “Reality” TV has not only officially run out of lousy ideas (well, it’s been like that for a while), they’ve potentially gone too far for even the normally well-fooled rubes to watch. And if PETA wants to go ape-shit over that cough medicine sucking chimp, I say go for it.

But, whatever. I can’t stop you from wasting your time at all (hey, it’s a free country, right?), but I’m upping my BS call-o-meter to include every channel that runs crap in a bowl like this and expects it to last more than a season. Waste of time and money, I say. Talent? Meh, not so much, but I’d expect some agents and PR people to be strung up within a few weeks…

Yikes. So are we as a nation THAT hard up for cash that we’d ring up a company run by an ex-pro wrestler turned “artifact recovery expert” to carefully (allegedly) dig and scrape out our land for any historical relics that, even though they SHOULD go into a museum, we can pawn for much-needed cash? Minus whatever fee (and cut of the loot) the company gets and whatever rights we sign away to be on the show? Apparently so. Wait, what? They’ve been around since 2005 and even have a magazine as well? Who reads magazines about this stuff these days (and are there Goldline ads in them)?

My head hurts now. Of course, I’ll be doing what I usually do with “reality” TV – give it a wide berth and let those who want to dig it, do so. Nevertheless, I’d not be surprised at all to see an ad for the show that starts off with some rockin’ theme and a beefy voice saying “Where my Diggers at?!”

Feh, where’s Indiana Jones when you nee… No, wait… er, Where’s Lara Croft when y.. Um… er… aha! Where’s Arne Saknussemm when you need him? (I had to pick SOMEONE that you guys had to look up who hasn’t been turned into a pop culture icon yet… in this century, at least)…