Yeah, I was kind of busy too… just like you. I still have some reviews to write and that embargo lifts on the previews I need to hop to. I didn’t go see EVIL DEAD, but I knew what would happen. The weather got warmer and today was REALLY nice out. Too nice. All day, there’s been this sense of looming dread and I’ve been looking over my shoulder about every eight seconds. Now it’s dark out and the wind sounds weird. I think I saw something moving by the window. I think I’ll sleep in the closet tonight. Under a pile of clothes. Did I mention I live seven floors up and there’s no fire escape here? That damn clock is awfully loud… wait… it’s a digital clock.
Moral: When you’re Number One, you can do whatever the hell you want.
I guess a post title like “In Case Of Emergency, BREAK GLASS. Slash Wrists With GLASS” is too extreme, huh? Anyway, the film is doing as I thought, as in fine with most horror fans and OK to so-so with critics who don’t quite see what the fuss is about or worse, go in with Cabin in the Woods expectations. Whatever. I didn’t like Cabin that much (despite it doing some fun things with the genre), the SCREAM movies annoyed me (again, some fun stuff, but overrated AND too many sequels) and don’t even get me started on those “found footage” flicks where someone has an old video camera with the battery life of a Galaxy Note III. Yeah, you Blair Witch Project. That ending was freaky, but I didn’t feel the least bit frightened by the rest of the film (and I’ve seen it three times just to make sure).
Hmmm… I don’t believe in “ghosts” either, so Paranormal Activity made me laugh at the people in the theater jumping at flying sheets or whatever. And as for The Exorcist? The hospital scenes were FAR scarier than any of that head spinning possessed crap. Which means the more superstitious you are, the least likely your survival odds will be when that ASPCA truck full of black cats tips over near that outdoor mall sale on ladders and mirrors which will get your heart racing before some kid running out of that mall in his 90% off Halloween costume (he’ll be a ghost or the devil) puts you down for the count. Welcome to your nightmare!
OK, maybe I’m too much of a curmudgeon here, but I won’t tell you what NOT to watch as it’s up to you where you eat your popcorn at the end of the day…
Soooo… I just now decided to poke around and peek at some early reviews and impressions and… *ding!* it looks as if it’s up…. annnnnnd… it’s good! Actually, that Redband trailer had me convinced a while ago (although I wasn’t going to do a silly reaction video at all) – particularly the part with the knife and tongue (eek!). Anyway, go see this one if you want to jump all around the theater holding the arm of the person next to you as a handy club. They’ll miss that arm only for the few seconds it takes them to bleed out, but at least you have a weapon now.
OF COURSE… the problem with all this over-hype is will the actual film scare anyone who hasn’t been all over the internet gobbling up every trailer, screen capture, feature, cast interview and so forth and so on? The original film and its more comedy-focused sequel were memorable to me because they came out of nowhere as “Midnight” movies without a ton of fanfare. I still recall seeing the trailer and initially being freaked out by it back in the day and I think there was even a brief commercial for the original film popping up very late at night that was pretty effective in a “Oh, I really don’t want to see that, but…” manner. I ended up not being that scared at all by the original film because of what I considered too much hype back in the day, so this new version didn’t get my attention until I noted how it took a more serious angle to things, which works well from what I’ve seen.
Now, every big genre film gets SO much attention that it’s hard to be surprised because you’ve seen half the film on TV or the internet or it’s one of those smaller flicks that’s too weird to show much of and eventually turns out to be less frightening and more disgusting (Yeah, YOU, Human Centipede 2). Eh, as always… we shall see. Except you with the missing arms out there. You’re all dead (but you just might come back for the inevitable sequel)…
… Oh, just they all WAIT until they have to start paying back those student loans. Mua-ha-ha-ha-haaaaa! Yeah, who’s REALLY peeing their pants NOW, huh? I bet some of your parents will be watching you scream in this video and wonder if that’s all the hell you did for four (or more) years. Damn kids. OK, maybe I’m jealous that I never get invited to these screenings like the over-privileged youth of to-day. Bleh. All kidding aside, I’m glad this reboot is freaking people out, as it makes me want to see it sooner than later. THAT said, I’ll probably stick it out for the Blu-Ray set with all those juicy behind the scenes bits, as I just hate leaving the theater thinking I’m missing something. Then again, a few pints of pee are never missed and I won’t need to bring a change of underwear to the theater. Or something like that. April 5, people. Go get in line somewhere and defend that spot with your lives. I have the feeling that if you don’t go see this movie… it will come looking for you.
Hmmm… Shouldn’t it be “College Screening Reaction”? That sounds more correct (and I never went to college!)
That’s because the damn house is HAUNTED, Fats. Nasty ol’ evil Book of the Dead ring any bells for you? No? Hmmm… let me explain it a bit better in English: Get the h-e-l-l off that damn piano and make a run for the door, big man.
OK, I’m not one for ridiculous over-hype, but this flick just may be worth the bother to drag my tired butt down to the local cinema to catch. I keep flipping the usual mental coin about more and more movies and usually (since I use a two-headed coin) I end up waiting for the cable premiere. As my LAST coin toss saw my trick quarter fly out a window never to be seen again, I have to judge things more like everyone else. So far, it’s been going well, so we’ll see how this turns out. I have no huge expectations going into this, but I just may pack a pair of extra underwear and pants just in case…
I’ll have to admit that the original Evil Dead didn’t freak me out that much because the people who’d seen it and told me it was SO scary had built it up based more on their own fears and tried to project that onto me before I went in for my viewing. I liked the film quite a lot (I actually owned it on VHS, DVD and UMD at one point), but I wasn’t put “under the seat” as promised. That said, it’s just an excellent, scary low budget classic worth watching by anyone who loves the genre or wants to eventually make his or her own horror flicks. The sequel, Evil Dead II: Dead By Dawn was nothing but an extended Three Stooges episode with gore effects and I laughed more than cringed throughout that one because I got the joke right away. Other than Bruce Campbell’s performance (he’s still one of the more under-appreciated actors out there, I say) I still don’t like Army of Darkness much, but it’s gotten better with age and I’d gather the more mainstream approach also helped Sam Raimi get more work outside the horror genre. This reboot/remake/whatever actually looks more frightening than the first one because it’s being taken more seriously. I may just go and see it to see if it indeed does put me under the seat, but I still I still think someone needs to remake the 1967 – 1970 horror flick Equinox (a big inspiration for Raimi) as the official prequel to he whole series and get it over with just to complete that particular part of the cycle.
"DESTROY ALL FANBOYS!" 