Contrary to what today’s screenshot shows, even if you’re driving an official Greenvale patrol car, you probably shouldn’t “Get out of car” as prompted here. As you can see, that car is kind of stopped in a REALLY bad spot and just waiting for an accident to happen. Granted, the traffic in this tiny town isn’t anywhere near the chaos of New York City during rush hour, but I’d bet you a dime that someone will crash into that misplaced prowler on a bicycle or other less than three wheeled ride. Of course, it might be that suspicious local sheriff George Woodman at the wheel with FBI Special Agent Francis York Morgan (just call him York!) in the passenger seat with George about to let York out right above an open manhole. Man, is this guy mean or what? Well, I guess as long as it’s all in fun and no one gets hurt, it’s all good. Right? Hmmm… what’s the number for the hospital again?
You know, you can keep York a bit safer when he rides around Greenvale with George (or without him) once you pick up a copy of Deadly Premonition: The Director’s Cut, coming exclusively to the PlayStation 3 on April 30, 2013. Featuring updated visuals, PlayStation Move and 3D TV support, new content and more, and YES, those driving controls are supposed to be better too! Just as long as it’s York behind the wheel and not George, things will be just peachy. In fact, you may want to avoid the Sheriff completely for a few days, as I hear he’s been acting a bit weird lately…
But don’t bug Game Director Swery 65 about this. Based on my poking around, some other outlets have been hounding him day and night with questions and even sending out paparazzi to catch him in some sort of compromising situations. Usually, he’s quite a nice guy, but as you can see here, all of these unnecessary attention and hounding has made him a tad cranky. Hell, I know I’d be ticked off if I was taking out my garbage and found seven guys poking through it looking for who knows what. I think I’ll talk to him later about sticking a few rat traps in his garbage can and listening for that snapping sound and cursing when a few fingers get caught. Hey, you’d do it too if that crap was going on…
Well, well, well. Digital games are good for something after all. I’d purchased an inexpensive boxed copy of 
It just hit me a few days ago that Francis York Morgan (just call him York!) looks a little like the late film actor Montgomery Clift. Now, I haven’t mentioned this to him just yet, as he’s been out and very busy on this Red Seeds Killer case, but it’s a striking near-resemblance, don’t you think? Well, OK, the hair is different, but it’s raining in that screenshot. Here’s something tragically hip, though. Just as Monty had a terrible auto accident in 1956 that left scars and forever changed his life, York arrives in Greenvale thanks to a car wreck of his own. He’s unhurt, however… but like this real-life Hollywood actor, he’s got some demons to deal with both inside and out on his strange journey in and around that sleepy little town plagued by a vicious killer. Hmmm. I wonder if there’s a movie being made about this particular incident and who’s going to be cast as the handsome, troubled profiler with an unusual past? I’d bet it would be Monty Clift if times were shifted and he was around today looking like he did in this photograph… “There I go again shaking, but I ain’t got the chills…”
Hmmm… One of these days I’ll need to ask Game Director Swery 65 about his cinematic influences when creating this game. I know it started life as an homage of sorts to David Lynch’s amazingly weird and wonderful Twin Peaks, but once you play the game, you’ll see other elements pop up. Hmmm… how does the man find the time to watch movies when he’s got all of Greenvale to watch over to make sure only the strange stuff that HAS to happen there happens when it needs to happen? Oh well – I’ll let him finish that beer before I bug him about this. I don’t want to interrupt anyone enjoying an adult beverage with any silly questions…
Oh, when you do stop by the A&G on a slow Sunday, keep an eye peeled for Game Director Swery 65, as he tends to drop in from time to time when he’s close by the town. I think Greenvale has no “blue laws” in place, as you’ll probably spot him having a cold beverage or two that ISN’T a Sundae. Hint, it happens to go REALLY well with more afterward and is even better with a good burger and side of really awesome hot hand-cut fries. Hmm… now I’m REALLY starving all of a sudden. Off to get some dinner that’s not as much of a “guilty” pleasure (but it WILL be a miracle if I can whip it up before Game of Thrones starts up – back in a bit.)..
Yeah, yeah, we NORMALLY do our Saturday Evening Post about the swingin’ Swery65 Bar, but I just got an URGENT call followed by an email from Greenvale’s own Sheriff George Woodman, who’s a bit pissed off at me. OK, he’s REALLY pissed off at me and he’s probably got a good reason for that. Hey, I’m just trying to make these updates as entertaining as possible, so I tend to stretch the truth a little. Anyway, he’s mad because I’ve been portraying him as a bad-ass apple practical joker who’s mean, cranky and always going after FBI Special Agent Francis York Morgan (just call him York!) in some not so good ways. Anyway, George wants you to know that he’s a really nice guy and has a VERY sensitive side few get to see because he’s SUPPOSED to be a tough no-nonsense sheriff and isn’t supposed to be a super “nice” guy when he’s ON the job. Anyway, a few more things about George you should know (according to him):
Still, don’t let that stop you one bit from 
Still, I guess it was fine working for a famous big shot Game Director like Swery 65 (shown here with another famous big shot game director, Suda 51), as I can’t recall ANY reports of on-set problems while the game was being made. Sure, a few makeup and catering people went missing (and have never been found), but you know how it is in this business with a high turnover rate among certain types of low-level employees, right? Hmmm… maybe I should do some more digging on this Woodman character, as York seems like he’s a bit tied up with that Red Seeds Killer case and I think he could use some assurance that ol’ George isn’t a suspect…
And of course, Game Director Swery 65 is DEFINITELY looking forward to all of you enjoying his game or not enjoying it, then debating with DP fans about what makes it so great. I’d say the fans of this one will outnumber the haters, who will be squeaking away like mice about holes in their cheese as everyone else is enjoying the ride. And playing the game all over again once they’re done. I say we should all make him a happy guy, as happy guys who make games make more good games afterward…
Speaking os appreciation, by the way, you buying this game and telling a friend or three would make Game Director Swery65 REALLY happy. If you ask me, I’d say that he’s sure to make a name for himself here in the US with his hot little interactive horror story and you can most certainly help out by snapping up a copy as soon as you see it at your favorite game emporium. I think he’s really on to something with this scary stuff, folks…
Granted, Game Director Swery65 SHOULD have been noticing that axe getting dragged about like that would mean it was going to be less effective, but he was going for effect over realism and yes, an axe being dragged on that stone flooring does make for a pretty scary image. Not to mention the nails on a chalkboard sound effect with a few bumps and dings for good measure. Hell, I’d go hide in the closet now, but I’m sitting in the local library typing this, safe from Mr. Killer unless he’s going to beat me to death quietly with an encyclopedia.
As you can probably guess from that video above, Vanillaware sure isn’t making 
"DESTROY ALL FANBOYS!" 