When I first heard about this flick, I very seriously thought it was a total joke. But nope, it’s real and coming sooner than some history buffs would prefer. OK, I’m not up on EVERY oddball comic or popular novel that gets turned into a major (or minor) motion picture, but hey, I’m too busy playing games and writing about them in some form to absorb a bigger pop cultchah fix like I used to. Speaking of pop culture fixes… I’m really not sure why The Hunger Games is getting all this hype when the incredible Battle Royale did it better and more brutally (as in content that was clearly NOT for teens in a nationwide school reading program). Hell, I’d even take a mean and disturbing film version of the ancient Stephen King story The Long Walk over Games’ over-sauced promotional campaign that puts too much emphasis on the wrong elements instead of where it counts.

Yeah, yeah, I’m a total buzz-killer, aren’t I? But hear me out for a bit as I plant my tongue firmly in cheek and “rant” on a bit. You just KNOW that ten to twenty years from now, this damn film will be seen as actual FACT by those short attention span theater kids raised way too dumb to crack open a REAL book. Hell, you won’t even be able to argue a point in favor of the truth because they’ll even have cinematic proof of their own thanks to a few other “documentaries” about past US presidents doing double duty as supernatural slayers. You DID know that FDR got polio from a werewolf and JFK gave Elvis an assist in killing off some evil mummy, right? Laugh now, but If you’ve got young kids at home, I bet they’ll be learning this crap straight from the cloud through through their iPad XXXII implants… OK, let me get my creaky old ass to bed before I get depressed and head for the nearest window instead…