Hercules Trailer: Strong Words For The Muscle-Man…

Posted on March 27, 2014 by geelw

So, here we go again on a few fronts. Yeah, yeah, Hercules has been in the movies for decades and sure, this new film trailer hits all the notes it needs to in terms of the usual action movie bullet points. On the other hand, color me bored and waiting for the cable premiere because this myth has been busted too many times previously in some eternally wretched Hercules flicks. Lou Ferrigno and Luigi Cozzi still hold the golden crown as far as the gold standard of awfulness when it comes to the hero. But at least both films stand up in terms of sheer camp craziness. I mean, in the first film, Herc throws a BEAR he’s just punched out into SPACE which turns it into a constellation for cryin’ out loud! You just can’t top that no matter how many light years better your special effects are. As usual, we’ll see what happens with this newer flick, but I don’t have my hopes up that it will be as fun (or funny) as any of the others.

Then again, there’s always Arnold and HIS goofball take on Herc. He fought a bear in that film as well (and in Central Park, yet!)

Random Film of the Week: The Colossus of New York

Posted on March 10, 2014 by geelw

The first time I saw Eugène Lourié’s The Colossus of New York, I think I was about ten or eleven and stayed up all night on a Friday or Saturday just because it came on at something like 2 or 3am. I recall falling asleep somewhere in the middle and waking up for the ending, disappointed that I missed whatever robot rampage the cloaked metal man went on. It turns out that I didn’t miss much of a “rampage” at all, although the thing did wreak some havoc on some poor important folks down at the United Nations before getting shut down for good without the military blowing it to scrap metal with a bunch of rockets.

Anyway, featuring some fine performances and an brilliant (and sometimes unsettling) piano score by Nathan Van Cleave, this is an interesting albeit flawed sci-fi film with a more human side to its fantastic bits thanks to the internal conflict of Jeremy Spensser (Ross Martin) who finds his brain in that bulky cyborg after he dies in an auto accident and his genius dad (Otto Kruger) and second genius (but somewhat devious) son (John Baragrey) decide to keep him living in that metal shell… Continue reading →

Harlan Ellison’s City on the Edge of Forever Finally Comics-Bound!

Posted on March 6, 2014 by geelw

YES. I’m SO pleased at this news that I’m too busy doing mental back flips and stuff to type out a boring descriptive post about the plot and whatnot, so you get to read a boring descriptive press release instead. Woo. Yeah, I’ll be grabbing this five-issue series for sure. Or should I hold out for the inevitable collected edition? Ah, whatever – we’ll see. Isn’t that cover awesome, by the way? Meanwhile, just for fun here’s an old Harlan Ellison’s Watching video for you on the implosion of the trading card collector’s market:

As to that Trek comic? Here, go read all about it below the jump… Continue reading →

Transformers: Age of Extinction Trailer: Bay of Picks of the Litter? We’ll See…

Posted on March 5, 2014 by geelw

While I’ve seen the three previous films and way too many of the cartoons to count, I’m not a huge fan of the Transformers movies and their CG overkill, nor do I revere those old animated series as some sort of overall canonical tome that cannot be tampered with. That said, it looks as if this one’s going to be more “serious” than previous installments,, but then again you can’t tell by a two and a half minute plus trailer how the quality of the final flick will be. Mr. Bay seems to have spent that studio money up but good here and based on the usual polarized response this teaser has gotten, I’d say this will make a Megatron full of money (ah ha ha… Hey, pure corn is my specialty, folks!). Then again, if this is the last of the series (and to quote the late Godfather of Soul, James Brown: “Please, Please, Please!”*), it’s certainly going out with a bang. We’ll see on June 27th what’s what, I suppose. Check that: YOU’LL see before I will, as I’ve sat out the last two films until they popped up on cable.

*Yeah, I do KNOW that classic song is about JB wanting someone to NOT leave him, but for this franchise, that cape has come out too many times and it’s done every encore it can think of…

Random Film of the Week: Private Lessons

Posted on January 20, 2014 by geelw

Hollywood just did not know what to do with Sylvia Kristel. By the time the Dutch actress made it to America a few years after becoming a worldwide star (well, everywhere except here in the US) from her appearance in and as Emmanuelle and two sequels, she ended up working in a few American movies that ranged from passable to flat out wretched. 1981’s Private Lessons is one of those flat out wretched ones, a “sex comedy” that’s not erotic or amusing at all, but pretty unsettling and when seen in light of modern views of its subject matter, just plain wrong.

Of course, I have to confess that I saw this way back when it was released with some like-minded friends and we though it was going to be the thrill of the late summer only to end up crawling out of the theater in need of a shower and a Men In Black style memory wipe. There’s just a layer of head-shaking offensiveness here that only those with low to no morals would find “thrilling” or even remotely “sexy”. Then again, I don’t want to make poke at someone’s particular proclivities ’til they pop. If this dreck does it for your own tastes, more power to you then. On the other hand, given that real people have gone to real jails for doing what happens here in real life, that fine line between movie fantasy and stark reality is stomped on and wiped away long before this trash-fest is over…

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Random Film of the Week: Body Parts

Posted on January 17, 2014 by geelw

While flawed, Eric Red’s 1991 horror film Body Parts works for about two-thirds of its running time until it goes to pieces and collapses into a heap. It’s a variation on The Hands of Orlac and other potentially possessed parts flicks that makes for a fairly freakish time thanks to Jeff Fahey’s committed performance, Red’s mostly solid direction and an outstanding score by Loek Dikker that drives the film right from the main title sequence.

Like Oliver Stone’s even more flawed horror flick THE HAND, there’s some good stuff in here, some bad stuff and some flat out crazy stuff. But Red’s film is a lot more compelling and even more interesting on the visual side of things up until the aforementioned belly flop into silly quasi-Frankenstein’s monster/evil scientist with a bizarre agenda territory…

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Not So Random Film of the Week: The Lovely Bones

Posted on December 16, 2013 by geelw

Hey, kids! Happy Christmas (or whatever you celebrate) and all that rot! I had to open one of my presents early in order to tell you what my brain and eyeballs say about it, so here you go. This post is my little contribution to The Cinematic Katzenjammer’s Not-So-Secret Santa Review Swap. It’s definitely not a holiday flick (nor a joyous one), but you never know what you’ll get from Saint Nick when he drops something down your chimney. You just need to review it and hope you do a good job at it… OR ELSE. Anyway, grab some eggnog, pull up a comfy chair, put the pet of choice on your lap and read on!

I have a particular problem with most ghost stories in film thanks to zero continuity or lineage in the mythos from one tale to another across the globe. Yes, I’ve seen dozens of great films from mildly spooky to downright scare me under the furniture freaky in over 46 years of watching movies, but their level of effectiveness is more due to great writing and acting than these tales making any sort of logical sense from one to another. That said, after watching it twice, I can very safely say that The Lovely Bones is a beautiful looking, wonderfully shot and mostly terrifically acted movie that for me, was manipulative, frustrating and not at all satisfying to watch.

Even Brian Eno swiping his own music from tracks on Here Come The Warm Jets (one of my favorite albums) and adding them to his often ethereal score can’t save this film from its weaknesses. Then again, maybe it’s me being cranky here? After all, Peter Jackson and I have some unspoken grief beef ever since 1996’s The Frighteners made me want to strangle myself in my sleep after I saw it and the overkill of way too many CG effects and too much trying to be too funny and too serious simultaneously beat a whole theater of paying saps into a blue-green hued coma. That said, this 2009 film makes that old one look a lot more palatable and enjoyable in comparison… Continue reading →

Interstellar Teaser Trailer: What You Do After You’ve Gone Batty Thrice…

Posted on December 14, 2013 by geelw

So, it’s about a year away (!), but Christopher Nolan’s upcoming Interstellar looks as if it will be one more intensely interesting film from one of the more prolifically creative mainstream directors working today. Granted, this SUPER tease may as well be a trailer for a Salvage One movie or a more serious version of Joe Dante’s EXPLORERS, but I like that vagueness going on here and the fact that we have to wait a whole year to see what’s coming. Naturally, there WILL be updates as more of the plot and cast are revealed, but with any new film, I prefer to stay the hell off the internet and far away from speculation and spoilers because it just makes for a better overall viewing experience. Try it sometime and see, I say…

Noah Trailer: Saving Up For Those Rainy Daze…

Posted on November 23, 2013 by geelw

Somewhere, Cecil B. DeMille is stomping around in knee-length leather boots and aviator pants yelling into his megaphone at this trailer. I can see him saying something like “There needs to be a ten commandments of movie-making!” or something similarly snarky. I may catch this on cable at some point, but spending my hard earned money on a movie like this is out of the question for me. Well, it should be entertaining and thankfully, wasn’t advertised as “based on”, “inspired by” or “from the incredible” true story or anything close to that. But hey, between the action movie music in the trailer, the expensive CGI effects and a cast of actors all looking worried or pissed off or hopeful at the right moments, I guess this will rake in the bucks no matter what the biblical scholars and fundamentalists have to say. I certainly wouldn’t want to be in between that particular rock and hard place, that’s for darn sure…

Random Film of the Week(end): War of the Worlds

Posted on November 16, 2013 by geelw

These days, I’m not much of a loyal Tom Cruise fan, but I happen to like some films he’s in when the cast around him gets to do some decent work around his not so silent takeover method of acting. That said, 2005’s War of the Worlds is pretty much Stephen Spielberg’s film to win or lose as he puts Cruise, the rest of the cast, some stellar visual effects and a mostly tensely coiled John Williams score to work in this updated version of the classic H.G. Wells science fiction story.

Save for some overuse of the “Hollywood escape” and still not yet patented Cruise running style in scenes where plenty of extras get vaporized or otherwise killed as the actor and his movie kids make a few too many narrow escapes (at least for the first part of the film) and a wee bit too much allegory on the director’s part, this is a solid little movie that still packs a bit of a punch… Continue reading →