BioWare Doesn’t Need To Do A Damn Thing About Mass Effect 3’s Ending…

Look, fans are GREAT to have, but I’m sure SOMEWHERE at BioWare, the team poring over all the hate mail feels every negative creak and groan is worse than driving a car full of sugared-up seven-year old kids to the mall on a hot Saturday afternoon. I wonder how many of these people going on and on about wanting an ending they’d LIKE would have done back in the day about books like Camille, Great Expectations, Lord Jim or even The Diary of Anne Frank.

Feh. I say strap all those folks down and force them to watch The Hidden II on a loop for a week until they see exactly what a bad ending is…

Still, I have to at least give some of these guys and gals a hearty handclasp for using this otherwise needless beef to raise money for charity.  These people may not get that alternate ending they crave so dearly, but some very deserving kids out there will get to enjoy their lives a little bit more (and that’s always a good thing)…

Big Bass Arcade: No Limit – Fast Fishing Without The Fuss

Work getting you stressed out? Need a quick vacation from the real world? Big John Games wants you to take the day off and do some fishing in its upcoming Wii exclusive. Being a big city guy, the closest I’ve actually come to fresh fish has been at a few markets, the tropical fish in an aquarium, watching Jaws too many times and almost drowning as a kid at camp. So I’m all about staying away from the water whenever possible unless I’m taking a bath… or playing a fun fishing game.  That’s the safest route for a klutz like me, as if I fall into my TV, I’ll just get a bump on the head… unless the TV falls on me after I crash into it. Ouch. Hmmm… perhaps I need a new hobby – video games are getting more dangerous it seems…

Laugh of the Day: Intel Makes Folks Go Batty For An Ultrabook

OK, how come I’m never around when one of these wacky but cool Ultrabook promos happens? I could use a new laptop myself, as I’m sure the folks at Starbucks are tired of seeing me stroll in with my desktop on a hand truck when I need to take advantage of that free Wi-Fi access. All I’ve ever gotten for free here in NYC while strolling about is a lungful of cigarette smoke from exiled office workers forced to puff away outside their workplaces. Then again, given these videos were shot in Bangkok and Jakarta, the airfare alone would break my bank account.

Ah well… at this point, I’ll take a stale muffin sample over more Marlboro clouds…

Reality Fighters: The “Everyman” Fighting Game That’s Not For Everyone…

There’s a definitively cheesy charm to this new Vita game that’s going to be lost on anyone who seriously stacks it up against the other, better fighting games released on the handheld and that’s too bad. Sure, the game loses itself in trying WAY too hard to be intentionally campy and the actual combat is loose and a bit frustrating if you’re a hardcore arcade junkie, but there are some cool bright spots. Snapping backgrounds for the augmented reality fighting indoors or out works really well, the character edit function is pretty deep and with some work (and a better resolution camera upgrade on the Vita), I can see this getting a MUCH improved sequel…

 

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Avengers RealD 3D Glasses: The “Prescription” For Summer Movie Blahs?

These are actually pretty cool, but it’s too bad they’re ONLY available as collectible 3D glasses and not higher quality real prescription frames,  So, how do you snag a pair of these darlings, you ask? Well according to the press release:

“Beginning in April, fans at will be able to collect these limited edition RealD 3D glasses at special events, fan screenings and via upcoming online giveaways. THE AVENGERS RealD 3D glasses will also be available at select AMC Theatres, National Amusement Theatres and independent theatres throughout the U.S. beginning as early as midnight on May 3rd.”

Hmmm… I’d bet my shirt some of you out there would pay good money to be walking down the street in those official Iron Man, Captain America, Thor or Hulk specs and be able to actually see where you’re going, right? And, hey – where are the ladies’ glasses? I’d bet a pair of snazzy Black Widow frames would be a must-have for the guys and gals alike…

DiRT Showdown “Massive Damage” Trailer: Now, THAT’S More Like It (Almost)…

OK, I said this a while back, but once again, I’m officially retiring Test Drive: Eve of Destruction as my go-to demolition derby fix once DiRT Showdown is released. Still, while this latest work in-progress trailer shows off some cool stuff, I’m wanting a bit more of a damage model that’s closer to actual derby stuff and the damage model found in Bugbear’s FlatOut games while not straying too far into Burnout territory. Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with the later Burnout games at all in terms of stuff wrecking up pretty good. However, there’s a great balance between realism and arcade that Monster Games nailed almost perfectly in Eve of Destruction back on the PS2 and Xbox that’s hard to explain unless you’ve played it or seen it in action. Anyway, I’m keeping my fingers and toes crossed that Codemasters can knock it out of the park. Well, even further than they have so far…

Ridge Racer Rolls Onto The Vita: A Bit Of A Bumpy, But Budget Ride

Another old standby from the original PlayStation days finally skids onto the Vita, and at first glance, it’s pretty much what you’d expect as a RR fan. However, even with the included DLC, there are only a handful of tracks (six) and cars (ten). Sure, you also get lots of speed and that familiar sideways skidding, but in the end, the lack of a focused single player offline mode plus the odd “leveling” system for cars hurt the game significantly.

Even as an arcade racer (this time aiming for the “connected” gamer), There’s just not enough meat on this one for those raised in the Gran Turismo or Forza eras. The $30 price tag, while inexpensive for a Vita game, still feels like five bucks too much. Granted, if you love nostalgia and aren’t too picky about the lack of innovation, you’ll like what’s here. On the other hand, you’d also hope that Namco would have spent a lot more time adding features and content to make the game a LOT more impressive as a launch window title and not hold back what made the first few Ridge Racer games on the PSOne great in the first place.

Ah well, if the game sells well because of the RR name, there’s always more DLC that can be whipped up, I guess…

Games You Just NEED To Play: Yakuza: Dead Souls

Sure, it’s all about Mass Effect 3 for many out there, but for total goofballs like me, Sega’s just-released wild Tokyo nightmare is going to be more fitting for a few reasons. The mix of horror and humor makes for a wacky bit of balancing, but the game isn’t trying to be “serious” at all (zombies versus Japanese gangsters would make a great Takashi Miike flick, I say!). Those weird Yakuza 4 geisha club mini-games are back (enough said there) and hell, it’s just cool to support Sega and the supremely talented Yakuza team again this year, as Binary Domain was also a really nice surprise that’s worth a buy. Don’t get me wrong, though – I’m not skipping out on BioWare’s latest at all, folks. It’s just that it’ll always be around to dive into on multiple platforms (and will no doubt get some sort of reissue down the road) while this one’s a PS3 exclusive that’s only going to get a limited release and that’s that… unless there’s a Yakuza BOX on the way (note to Sega: hint, hint, hint…)

Crowdfunding Goes Classic (Again!): Wasteland 2 Gets The Kickstarter Treatment

Wasteland 2 Kickstarter

“I have waited a long time to make this game, and I now have my dream team put together to help make it a reality,” said Brian Fargo of inXile Entertainment. “I had the main storyline created by Jason Anderson, the co-creator of Fallout™. We have Mike Stackpole and Alan Pavlish aboard who were the main designers of the original Wasteland™. Mark Morgan is doing the music and he composed the score for Fallout™1 and 2. And we have the fantastic talent of Andree Wallin helping with the concept art.”

 

Excellent. Now, inXile is in on the Kickstarter funding bandwagon and this time, it’s the official sequel to one of the greatest RPGs ever created, so you know it’s going to get funded pretty quickly. With a million dollar budget (Brian Fargo says he’ll chip in that final100K if at least 900K gets pledged), the chance to score a big box copy of the game for a $50 and even get in the game (as anything from a NPC, Weapon, location or commemorative statue), this one’s as exciting as the Double Fine Adventure project that generated a record-shattering amount of pledges in a single day. Given the original Wasteland’s influence on the RPG genre (it inspired the Fallout series and many other post-apocalyptic games since) and the fine folks behind it, this one’s a clear winner in my book.

OK, you know what to do, folks.Give ’til it hurts (or just get someone else to if you’re broke from giving Double Fine all your money earlier). As for me, I need to have a Kickstarter project going just to help me pay for these games, grrrrr. Hmmm… it might be time to eBay a few old games again. Now, all someone needs to do is get an Anvil of Dawn PC reboot/remake going. I’d be all over that in a heartbeat, whether it was to create character or environment art or help plan out the storyline.

Gallery Update: Steel Battalion Heavy Armor

From Software and Capcom are getting set to release what’s looking like the next big Kinect game as well as what’s looking like the first that’s going to have appeal across a few genres. Fans of the niche original will be all over this one (and won’t have to break out that table-sized 40+ button controller the original had), military tank sim fans should be intrigued enough to take the plunge and I can even see FPS players looking for a more emotional (and cerebral) experience wanting to give this one a shot.  Of course, the naysayers are going on about the Kinect’s price point just for ONE game, but that’s when I smack them (gently) on the back of the neck while suggesting a few other titles they may want to play that won’t make them look like marionettes in an asylum puppet show put on by unsupervised inmates

More on this one as new info becomes available…