Because it will be the last thing some of you new players will hear before you throw that controller down and start jumping up and down on it. Yes, Dark Souls II is going to be the HARDEST game some of you have played and it’s supposed to be because it wants you to learn how to play it properly. Go in like Kratos on a caffeine high and you’re dead like that steak in the freezer. On the other hand, take time to get into the game and realize you can (and should} be patient as you figure out how to deal with multiple enemies, deathtraps galore, bosses that take up too much real estate and more hazards and you LEARN what to do through pure trial and error. Mostly error if you slip into old habits. March 11 can’t come fast enough, but I dread it because I know this game will EAT any free time I thought of having and my dreams will get darker and grimmer thanks to some of the meaner enemies my poor avatar will face off against.

Thanks, FromSoftware for making my nightmares much more lively. I think I’ll need that Monster Eater Kit I saw at Toy Fair after all…