Review: Johnny Turbo’s Arcade: Heavy Burger (Nintendo Switch)


Holy… wow. this game is too freakin’ incredible. BUY IT. Or at least hope that Mr. Turbo has plans to get in onto a platform you can play it on.


Ahem. Every so often a good, well-made game of any genre makes me want to wax poetic, so here you go, a rhyming (not “rappin'” as I can’t do that at all unless it’s leftovers that need storage in the fridge) review of quite a fine Switch game you need to buy (ASAP, as its really, really good). Yes, the (very) old Bad the Bard alter ego has resurfaced from the grave, so expect the following verse to be cringe-worthy at best. Very cringe-worthy, apologies in advance…

(Takes out invisible lute and busted Casio VL-10). Er, go watch this rather conveniently placed trailer while I warm up… I’ll be back below the jump.


(Thanks, Flying Tiger Entertainment!)

Heavy, The Burgered Barrel Lies

Peter Pepper packin’ heat

in Heavy Burger can’t be beat

In solo to four-player mode,

it’s fun at home or on the road

That price point there, it may seem scary

but trust me, folks – please don’t be wary!

The main game’s more than worth the cheese

You’ll play it much through lack of ease

Supremely tough chaotic madness

where losers will all feel sadness

“Just grab the loot, head to the bank!”

A simple task? More like a prank!

Both speed and top shots truly count –

but random chumps in great amount

along with objects causing woe,

the maps themselves are quite the foe!

Hilarious from the very start

as all involved play fierce their part

Persist through dying many times

and take 1st place (to arcade chimes)

For your tasked skills, rewards await,

Data East gems (they’re really great!)

Controls and looks, they do it right

The tunes do great through each new fight

Yet, even when you’ve had your fill

You’ll come right back to for cash and kill

So grab a friend (well up to three)

And share this twin-stick wizardry!



This is a case where any screenshots can not do a bit of justice to a game. Get it, get friends who will soon be your mortal enemies if you win too much and play the heck out of this one.


Yes, yes, your ears are bleeding. I have some ointment for that.

Anyway,  a few important thing to note (other than the above poem being quite wretched) is the game suggests you play with a dual stick layout, but it also supports either one play or single Joy-Con play. You can adjust the difficulty (no enemies, some enemies, lots of enemies), select which arcade maps to visit and save your settings for future play. This allows players to set up things to be super easy or fantastically brutal as well as adding some major replay value. In other words, this game will likely be an eternal play stack dweller for those that dig it.

In short, this game is brilliantly executed, a *total* blast to play and yes, kudos to all involved for getting this out (somewhat quietly) on one of the biggest gaming days of 2018. Granted, I’m sure anyone playing a certain western-themed western game all around the globe isn’t coming up for air anytime soon. But for Nintendo Switch owners, this one’s a must-buy that has to be seen and played. Oh, you may want to take off your socks before you play, because they’re going to be blown off and fly across the room when you experience that first screen to screen transition.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to get back to my Burger. You’re going to want seconds (and thirds and so on) as well.

HB Arcade

If someone makes this arcade cabinet, I’ll sell a body part to buy it. YOURS, though. Any volunteers for SCIENCE?


Score: A (95%)


-Review code provided by the publisher


1 thought on “Review: Johnny Turbo’s Arcade: Heavy Burger (Nintendo Switch)

  1. Pingback: Red Dead Redemption II Says: Go West, or Just Stay In (and Still Go West) | "DESTROY ALL FANBOYS!"

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