Review: Space Cows (Switch)


What are you doing to that cow, man? Oh, never mind…

cq5dam.thumbnail.319.319Ha. I remember a little game called  Boogerman: A Pick and Flick Adventure that got a few major censorship issues way back in 1994 on the Sega Genesis because it was deemed too crude until a few odd edits were made. Walkabout Games’ hilarious Space Cows ($12.99) laughs at the very idea of censors as it farts at every chance and is pretty funny and weird for a hardcore twin-stick shooter. Let’s just say expect psychics will come into play somewhat and you’ll need to work within the game’s control scheme if you want to fully enjoy the ride.

As Best Regards, a farmer who’s cows have been swiped by aliens, it’s all up to you to get then back with a handy toilet plunger as your main weapon and a bit of gassy propulsion to keep you aloft. Don’t try to pretend this makes any sort of sense, though. Other than the well-implemented physics system that makes the game tougher, this isn’t exactly rocket science.

Or is it? (roll trailer, please):

That said, between the main game proper and the wealth of short mini-games, there’s a heck of a lot happening here and your sense of humor needs to be tempered with a sense of understanding that the game is doing it’s darndest to offend at every turn (which is a good thing). The 20 levels take a bit of work to complete, but expert players can expect around three or so hours to complete everything. Still, with three play modes, only the best of the best will experience every difficulty level.

The best parts of the game are the visual style, gameplay that’s challenging throughout and the yes, puns and juvenile humor that can be found everywhere. It’s good to see a game that pulls off fart humor with glee (the other jokes are prime stuff as well) and gets more amusing the further it goes. Granted, if you’re pooh-poohing a good fart joke, you’re sort of asking for it in my book. From all sides, at that (emits noxious gas, chuckles for a bit too long).  Hey, I’m old! It’s practically a state of mind at this point.


Tilt! The screen gets a bit of twisty action at times.

Those physics mean you’ll need to learn when to stop moving and when to use the limited slo-mo time to stay out of danger. A bit of blind fire is necessary when dealing with the assorted Mootants the game throws your way from all angles. Even the very first stage is tricky to beat, but checkpoints are thankfully, numerous enough for the most part. The game can get pretty tricky when there are big bosses that need figuring out or mini-games where precision skills are required. but it’s all good when all is said and done because it’s a well-made game that happens to be pretty funny.


Our hero. Yipes, he’s ugly as sin on a stick.

A drawback here for some players will be the intentionally ugly main character art and yes, those awesomely disgusting hapless cows that need to be saved. But trust me, it works perfectly in action. The game performs quite well overall and is surprisingly, a very decent port overall. Well, the load times kind of blow gas, but that’s to be expected on the Switch with the hardware it’s packing. Other than those issues, it’s a fine and dandy job the developer has done.


You will believe a man can fart-fly…

So, yes it’s recommended, particularly if you like your humor somewhat crude and your games tricky to master. This one’s a fine little indie that will be entertaining to let’s say, those with a particular nose for gaming, heh.

Score: B+ (85%)


-Review code provided by the developer.


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