Platform: PlayStation Vita (via PSN)
Developer/Publisher: Ratloop Asia
# of Players: 1 (online 2 – 4)
ESRB: Rating: M (Mature)
Official Site
Score: A- (90%)
Before you even ask, nope, Rocketbirds: Hardboiled Chicken has absolutely NOTHING to do with Angry Birds. Zero. Zilch. So, please clear that Jenga with a slingshot game out of your heads before reading further (I’ll wait)… and if you happen to have grown up playing classic NES side-scrollers, a few too many platform-based puzzle games and maybe a few oddball arcade flight shooters, well… this game’s got your name on it somewhere. Ratloop Asia (sorry, but that studio name makes me want to avoid eating Chinese food for a few days) has cooked up a tasty bird buffet that’s a tad spicy for the kids thanks to a bit of foul (or is that fowl?) language, blood and lots of stabby and shooty violence. But for those of you Vita owners with a sense of humor and a few bucks in your pocket, it’s a guaranteed fun time while it lasts. A few new Vita-exclusive elements added makes this the most complete version out there and yes, it’s a definite must-buy if you’re looking for a solid adventure that, while not the longest game out there, is going to get a few replays and perhaps even stay on that memory card long after you’re all done.

In a nutshell, you play as a very pissed off bird (who in all fairness should actually be a rooster unless it’s a beefy-looking chicken in Rambo drag) on a mission to take out the leader of the penguin army that’s been putting its boot heel on the land of Albatropolis. Who knew penguins were so violent? Well, YOU knew if you watched that old Batman TV show and that Tim Burton flick, but I’m sure everyone else thinks of Morgan Freeman and “d’awww”-worthy birds making you throw down money for a movie ticket and later the DVD. Anyway, in this game, the penguins are the enemy, you have a gun (and on the harder difficulty, a knife) and you’re basically going to be whittling down that army until you get to your true target.

Most of the game is straightforward: You’ll enter an area and need to eliminate or get past anything you see (your foes shoot first, ask no questions and aren’t shy about ganging up on you). There are puzzles that involve moving crates about to gain access to hidden items and allow you to jump up to otherwise inaccessible areas. Combat is simple, but the penguins come in a few varieties from garden variety grunts to tougher baddies packing more powerful ordinance.You’ll end up with a nice arsenal yourself as the game progresses and using everything you have will be key to survival, as going in guns blazing will get your goose cooked faster than in one of those late night infomercials for a rocket rotisserie or whatever.

You’ll also get a nuclear-powered jet pack (you start the game with it, but lose it during the opening cinema) that lets you play some quirky shooting sequences from a far viewpoint that are initially tricky, but really fun to zip around and blast enemy birds in. The game is initially deceptive in terms of its story and straightforward gameplay, as there are a few plot twists that creep in that make it a surprisingly deeper experience. However, in the interest of my continued good heath, I won’t spoil a thing here by spilling any beans. In other words, there’s a big bandanna-wearing bird looking over my shoulder as I type this and I don’t want to be a dead duck by revealing anything that would get me roasted but good.

Ratloop didn’t just slap the mobile or PC game onto the Vita as is, and that’s a great thing. New to the Vita version is the ability to tilt the handheld (after the first mission) and get a sort of “pop up book” 3D effect. Sure, it’s a gimmick, but it makes the gorgeous visuals pop off the screen. They also added a new final boss, new cinemas that expand the story as well as a nice bunch of exclusive music and music videos set to exclusive tracks from indie rock band New World Revolution. I’ve never heard of them before, but the tunes are pretty cool and add a nice tone to the action. I’d say “Dick, it’s got a good beat and you can dance to it!”, but no one will get that reference at all, so I won’t. Um…  pretend that sentence isn’t here, please? Thank you.

Anyway, there’s also a co-op game that’s an entirely different story as you and a buddy play two bad-ass budgies out to rescue a kidnapped General’s daughter from some pesky Pigeon forces. This mode is more straightforward for action fans, but it’s as well-done and as funny as the main game. Music and sounds are great, but I wish the entire game was voiced and not just certain characters. For the first map’s duration, you’re led to think those odd bird sounds made by enemies and a few other cool noises are all you’ll hear, but things thankfully expand in the game’s new cut scenes.

In terms of replay value, it’s here and then some. Hidden smiley flags are to be found in most missions and once you’re on the case and hunting them down, expect to backtrack a bit in order to get them all. Some of the trophies awarded will take a few attempts at some of the maps and once you’re hooked into playing, you’ll be hunting down rewards like a greedy kid on an easter egg run. This is one of those great little games you’ll complete with a big grin on your face, say “what the hell, let’s do that again!” and do so without missing a beat. That classic feel keeps things rolling throughout, which is always a good thing in my book.

If there’s a gripe here, it’s a minor one at best. Sure, you can blast through this in a few hours (and miss a bunch of stuff), but that’s not because the game is supremely easy, mind you. It gets a bit addictive because you’re always seeing new locations and feeling appropriately challenged by the enemies. Sure, the gameplay sets itself into familiarity early on and doesn’t really change a great deal, but I’m OK with that because you can see the quality on display constantly and the often amusing stuff works quite well. Ratloop’s done a superb job overall and this is none of those games where if you appreciate what went into making it, you get more out of the end result.  So, yeah – go buy this game off PSN and do it fast. This is one bird that cooks up well, but don’t ask him to deliver or else you’ll get a hot chicken foot stuck where the sun don’t shine…