That’s LADY Katarina, to you, mister. Yeah, you can take your jiggered jump scares “reality” TV ghost shows and stick them in the circular fish tank where they belong. Me, I’ll be running around in some mighty pretty (and pretty deadly) environments with a ghost that’s actually useful against other supernatural creatures. Katrina might be fake, but at least she doesn’t give a crap and knows you’re going to like her for her skills and not just her good looks. NeoCore Games must have read my mind, as The Incredible Adventures of Van Helsing has got “sleeper hit” stamped all over it, but “Mega Hit” is glowing away in BIG neon letters for fans of these action RPGs like me. Keep it coming guys. Did you know you can pre-order this one and get a beta key on Steam? NO? Well, hell – I’m not doing my job right then… (takes out Hypno-Coin)… Go do that pre-order thing NOW.

And you’re welcome…