To some folks out there, Naughty Dog’s upcoming PS3 exclusive begs the question “Do we really need a new console?” To which Sony, industry analysts and plenty of other folks will say “well, mmmmaayyyybe…” While they’re spinning and scratching like an old LP being tickled by an epileptic DJ, I say sure, why not. Now to go rob a bank so I can pre-order one before the mad early adopter crush of crazed “gotta have it yesterday!” superfans and “Ooh, Im’a make a fortune on eBay” losers grab every available system for three months. As to the game proper (which arrives on June 14, 2013), it does look mighty spectacular for this late in the PS3’s lifespan, but you’re looking at work from one of Sony’s not-so secret weapon first-party studios…

Anyway… yes, folks – in the future, let’s just say that YOU are also entirely OPTIONAL. If you’re not up on your assorted survival skills (hunkering down in a bunker with sacks of beans and explosives isn’t the way to go, unless you really want to GO when you do go and you’ve forgotten about proper ventilation and are using a lantern or camp stove indoors), you’re pretty much toast on a stick when the natives get restless.

Of course, sitting on one’s ass now watching zombie movies and TV shows while reading useless “survival guides” written by folks who know a fad when they see it and can smell and suckers with money to spend a mile away also know their “tips” won’t really help too much because if you do what happens in those films and shows, you won’t have anyone to talk to and just go nuts. How so? well, dear reader… thanks to being even MORE paranoid than usual and off your meds (hey, if you’re in America, you’re on SOMETHING to calm you down or get you peppy), you’ll have beaten every stranger’s head in with a blunt object or lopped if off with that rusty “rustproof” machete you snapped up at the dollar store. OK, maybe you’ll do good and end up like Tom Hanks in Cast Away, with a busted up ball you talk to as your traveling companion. But I say be nice to the people you meet on the way down… you’ll be climbing back up that hole the world falls in at some point and the less people you piss off while things have gone to hell, the less of them that will kick you in the head as you’re trying to make it to that sunlight at the top of the tunnel…