According to Guinness (no, not THAT other Guinness, silly – we don’t go back to the Swery65 Bar until Saturday’s post), the longest time spent holding one’s breath underwater was 22 minutes flat by Stig Severinsen of Denmark at the London School of Diving (which is in London, of course), on May 3, 2012. While I don’t think FBI Special Agent Francis York Morgan (just call him York) and his young charge are intending to break that record any time soon, YOU can certainly feel free to make that attempt on your own. Just set a timer and stare at this screenshot while holding your breath and see how long you can last. Simple, no? Um, you MAY want to practice for a bit before you go contact the Guinness people (no, not THOSE Guinness people!), but you SHOULD be able to do quite well because you won’t be underwater at all (unless you’re reading this in the bathtub while holding a tablet). That and if you need to give up, gasping for air doesn’t get you two lungs full of water (or dirty soapy water if you’re in the tub). If you do happen to break that record, let me know and/or give me partial credit – I like to know I occasionally inspire people to do great things.

By the way, you’ll also get plenty of practice gasping and holding your breath when you play Deadly Premonition: The Director’s Cut, coming exclusively to the PlayStation 3 on April 30, 2013. This update to the former Xbox 360 game features updated HD visuals, PlayStation Move and 3D TV support, new content, DLC that extends the game’s lifespan and more. Feel free to pre-order the game now or face the fact that you may not get a copy when you really want one. I predict your breathing practice will get quite a workout because you’re not coming up for air for some time once you fire this game up.

You’ll also make Game Director and part time eye wear model Swery 65 a VERY happy man. He’ll be able to finally buy those Bootsy Collins sunglasses he’s been eyeballing on eBay or maybe even that cocktail table Ms. Pac-Man he saw at a bar here in the US when he attended this year’s GDC. Of course, he could also buy himself an airplane ticket to come shake the hands of everyone who picked up a copy of this game, but (wait for it…) don’t hold your breath…