“Hey, Not so loud!”, you sputter out
It’s been a long, long night.
You spent a good part drinking too much
(I think there was a fight.)

That Swery65 Bar, it’s quite the raucous place
Where too much booze and cheek pinching
got you punched in the face.

It was quite the sight to see you rise
when some blow sent you flying
You sailed into the ladies room
and thought that you were dying!

From what I heard after you left
it was the first time ever
They had toss a tourist out (using that hidden lever!)

So up you rise, your head throbbing
But hey, man – you’re alive
I’d say a decent hot breakfast
is the best way to survive

So put a pair of fresh pants on
(well, after a nice shower)
And tilt yourself on down the street
where you can regain some power.

The A&G Diner is the place you want to be
The food’s good and cheap, the wait staff’s great
And they make damn good coffee!

Well, OK… your first weekend in Greenvale wasn’t a total bust (other than the fat lip you now temporarily own), as now the locals know who you are and know you can sort of hold your liquor (to a point). Still, watch it after that fifth drink, buddy. The ladies don’t like you sizing them up, especially with a killer on the loose and you the new guy in town (suspicious and grabby? Yeah, that’s a good way to get KO’ed). Anyway, after breakfast (don’t forget to tip your waitress!), you may want to relax the rest of the day. You know, keep a low profile and all?

My suggestion: Get a copy of Deadly Premonition: The Director’s Cut, coming April 30, 2013 exclusively to the PlayStation 3. Even if you’ve never played the Xbox 360 version, the improved visuals, PlayStation Move and 3D TV support, new content, Trophies and more will have you staying indoors for long enough that the residents will forget all about your transgressions (well, until NEXT weekend when you’re back at that bar). Remember, not only is Sheriff Swery watching your every move, he actually EXPECTS you to behave while you’re in his town. Yeah, he owns the bar too, and the diner and everything else, but he likes that cowboy hat the best, I hear…