Although unsupervised movie watching is ALWAYS a darn good idea in my book, TCM’s Underground kind of NEEDS a friendly yet slightly sinister guide to the treasures it holds within. Granted, the channel tried using a host in the past (Rob Zombie), but his tenure didn’t last all that long. I’d LOVE to do this job, as I know a bit about some of the films they run and don’t mind researching the ones I don’t know about. Then again, I’m not exactly the most exciting person on camera as I think I have an aversion to being filmed and I’m not at well-tempered enough to sit in a makeup chair (unless someone’s going to make me look like some monster from a 50’s “B” movie!).

Hmmm, perhaps a compromise is in order. I’ll pretend to host the films while watching at home (yeah, I’ll be talking out loud to my television. Quiet, you in the back!) and TCM can pretend to pay me for my efforts. Yeah, that should work out just FINE. La la la laaa. La la laaaa. I’m a STAR! (Cue the men in white coats in 3… 2… 1..)