Hey, last week I heard some loud ladies on the street say that “Men are useless!” and while I do indeed agree we are on some fronts, sometimes we knock it out of the park big time. Er, at least as far as making cool as hell stuff goes. Well, cool stuff that doesn’t involve actual explosives, booze or some sort of automatic magazine pin-up dispenser as an all-in-one solution to multiple non-problems.

I don’t even know who Travis Reynolds is, but he’s my *new* best friend because he has created the (ta-dah!) Briefcase Arcade or Businesscade or Briefcade. Some call it the “Arcase”, but that sounds kinda lame (to me at least). Oh, it’s not built completely from scratch, mind you – that would be TOO genius and make him automatic King of the Known Universe…

Anyway, look at it… LOOK AT IT. It’s like your best James Bond and Tony Stark fantasies come true (okay, minus the Pussy Galore and Pepper Potts sandwich) and yes indeed, you will be the life of the party is this ends up in your possession. Now, me? I couldn’t build a fire with a flamethrower and a condemned wooden boardwalk, so I’m ab-so-lu-tel-y **thrilled** at stuff like this. Sir Reynolds has pictures of his construction process along with a sort of how-to and a list of fun stuff he used to whip this together on his site. So feel free to boogie on over there to check it out if you happen to be or know someone who is talented with the tool kit and has time to spare.

Of course, if I had one of these, I’d not want to take it around outside or (eek!) to the airport as a substitute for a tablet or other gaming device. I know the TSA would just LOVE to have a justification for finally getting to shoot someone with a funky-looking briefcase that they think has something deadly inside. With my luck, ZERO WING would be the first game they see when I got to the airport:

Yeah, that would be the end of me, for sure. Anyway, ladies? We’re not all heel turds (ALL the time, at least). Heck, I bet a Businesscade as a gift could even get some dude out of some non life-threatening jams because everyone loves a good arcade game and if they don’t popping it open and letting the pretty colors of a fun game distract from the rolling pin or spike heel about to bash your scalp is worth the money it costs to get one of these. Er, not that Travis is making any for sale, mind you. Have a “Plan B” ready that doesn’t involve him before you do something you’ll regret, guys.