Bad horror movies come in all types, but 1975’s The Devil Within Her (or I Don’t Want to Be Born) gets its own special place in film history for a few reasons. As you’re watching it and being completely baffled, amused and probably annoyed at what’s onscreen, you’ll probably wonder just what the hell got some very talented actors to commit to such an incredibly dumb movie. Just get a good look at that poster to the left and yes, your brain is popping already, right?

Then again, trying to make sense of this complete and utter mess is nothing but futile, as the movie does possibly the worst job at explaining its craziness in the first place. A “possessed” baby with super strength, a killer dwarf (or is it the baby?), a few bizarre murders (some of which are hilarious and/or unexpected), strippers, an exorcism and plenty of baffling dialog make this one an instant classic (provided you’ve got a good sense of humor)…

Then again, if you can’t tell this is going to be a doozy of a losing effort from the opening credit sequence, you’re not paying attention. Seeing Joan Collins screaming her lungs out while giving “birth” as the camera operator (or director) discovers that zooming in and out really fast on an overhead light is REALLY annoying isn’t a good sign, that’s for sure. Of course, things go right downhill on the plausibility factor when her massive baby (played by a real toddler who looks mostly perplexed throughout the film) claws her, drawing blood. As you’re recovering from that hilarity, the film spirals further into stupidity as Joan has a flashback about the dwarf named Hercules she worked at a strip club with laying a curse on her after she has him ejected from her dressing room after inviting him in for a drink (!).

Yeah, it gets worse and as noted above, the murders are pretty dumb and “shocking” because they happen out of the blue just to get the audience jumping in their seats. The problem is, it seems that the big baby is doing all that killing and there’s at least one murder late in the film that’s so elaborate, you can’t help but laugh as it’s happening. Hell, even if it’s Hercules doing the killing, he’d need to be one mighty little person to sling a rope down to hang someone, drop the body to the pavement and then drag it into an open grate to hide it away for what seems a few days. Then again, with all the face-swapping cuts between Hercules and the baby in the movie, it’s hard to tell what the hell is happening.

Even worse, the great Donald Pleasence is wasted here playing a doctor that delivers some choice lines, but it almost seems as if he were in another movie. One that’s still crappy, by the way. As one by one, people around Collins start getting killed, the film dips into more incomprehensibility as a nun drops in and out to offer up some exposition and eventually perform the exorcism that concludes this turkey. There’s SO much wrong with everything in the movie that even the sight of a few naked ladies ends up baffling and not at all titillating. It’s as if the director had a checklist of things to steal from other, better horror films and just let the cameras roll, ticking off his list when he got what he wanted.

I say watch this turd at your peril and definitely with a better horror flick to make up for the time you’ve just wasted. Granted, it’s pretty funny because it’s so bad, but you’ll definitely want something to wash your eyes and brain out with afterward…