I don’t use Xbox Live anymore, but some folks who do had a little issue over the weekend… Hmmm. And according to Microsoft, this was “only” due to “routine maintenance”… Uh Huh. Well, that next console is rumored to require an always online connection even for single player offline games and of course, Microsoft isn’t doing the right nor smart thing by totally or even partially denying this. Despite the fact that squashing the rumblings on the internet EARLY goes a long way in assuring they get more people interested in the new system because it will work when THEY want it to… (the plot thickens)…

Meh, whatever. I say that unless they can bring their own 100 percent (as in ALWAYS flawless) solution to these service outages, I can’t see that always online rumor their next console is supposed to have as a mandatory “feature” being anything but a money losing deal outside the most loyal users with those perfect connections who don’t mind the downtime at all. Sure, it’s going to happen EVENTUALLY and yes, game consoles might do better in SOME locations as a single set top box or service where each company delivers content directly to your television. But for the next few years that’s a pipe dream at best in any area in the US (or around the world) where rural and even some city internet connections are stuck in the 20th century. I know of a few people who have connections that fail completely when a simple rainstorm knocks out their service for hours at a time. Then again, this weekend’s issue was “ONLY” for a few hours of that “routine maintenance” and I’m SURE everyone affected by this normal outage simply went out for a nice walk on some real grass to got some fresh air and sunshine.

Hmmm… Now, there’s a solution Microsoft can use: they can run never-ending ads on Xbox Live (starring a few Avatars and characters from first-party games) telling people when scheduled outages are and/or suggest they get off their asses and go for a little walkabout when they can’t connect. It sure beats that generic troubleshooting pop-op, that’s for sure. Of course, if it’s 3AM somewhere and you live an a dangerous area, that’s going to be tricky if you’re up and itching to play or watch something because you can’t sleep. But, hey – look at the bright side. You can pretend you’re in that movie you wanted to watch on Netflix or game you wanted to play when you’re running down the street being chased by whatever else is up at that hour.

Oh, by the way… if you’re in a REALLY rural area and it’s a big ol’ bear after you, make sure you’ve left the house beforehand with a few rolls of toilet paper to toss at Not So Gentle Ben before he swats you like a salmon trying to make it upstream to spawn. If it’s anything like one of those stupid blue cartoon bears on that dopey TV commercial, it will stop chasing after you and start playing with that TP so you can make good your escape. Don’t forget to take a photo as you’re running away and post it to Facebook or wherever. I’d love to see some big fat Grizzly rolling around in toilet paper and smiling. I think there’s an instant 1000 point Achievement for that somewhere…

Hey, everything I know about nature I learned from TV commercials,so don’t get mad at me – blame the media…