So, I’m thirteen films into my 19-flick James Bond 007 marathon (and again, thanks, Encore, but no thanks for running the SAP versions and not the original theatrical formatted flicks, grrrrr) and I’m a bit more disappointed with the middle run of the series than I thought I would be. Nostalgia value aside, seeing all of these films one after another is like getting stabbed to death by an army of ants with really tiny knives. For me, once you get past On Her Majesty’s Secret Service (and realize how good it is), most of the films after it (mostly the Roger Moore era ones) haven’t stood up so well. Sure, Diamonds Are Forever is amusing (to a fault), Live And Let Die makes for a great 9albeit controversial) intro to the Roger Moore era and The Spy Who Loved Me at least tries hard to be ten years younger than it really is. A few of the other Moore films have interesting performances and plot points, but clearly, the series was devolving into campy, self-referential humor at the expense of whatever sensible elements remained.

Yes, I know the four Pierce Brosnan films (which I haven’t seen in a few years, but will get to this week) have great key moments that helped usher in today’s more serious Bond films, so I’m looking forward to seeing them at least once more. That said, the 70’s to 80’s Bond films range from adequate to flat out dumb to trying too hard to be serious before degenerating to the usual plot point of Bind dropping his pants and bedding anything he can before getting conked on the head and delivered to the bad guy’s hideout or some other location where he’ll escape before popping up to surprise the potential world dominating fool and set into motion his usually sightly to highly comical (explosion, falling, impalement, etc.) demise.

Of course, the series has been that way since Dr. No and hell, Auric Goldfinger’s master plans to irradiate the entire US gold supply are ONLY foiled because of Sir James’ romp in the hay with the formerly not too man-crazy Pussy Galore (wow, I hate that name, and most of the eyeball-rolling monikers too many women got saddled with during the course of the franchise). Still, as blatantly sexist as the films were, the Roger Moore films seemed to defy common sense and continuity for the sake of ill-timed comic relief and endings that made them archaic even for the time they were released. I’ll post about the last six pre-Craig films in a bit, but I recall them not being anywhere as annoying in their treatment of the Bond character, women and minorities as some of the older films (Live & Let Die, The Man With The Golden Gun and Octopussy being sterling examples of “What the..”)

I recall having an interesting conversation with some friends a few years back about stereotypes in movies and the Bond films were a hot topic because they seemed to go out of their way to present parts of the world Bond traveled to as bastardized amusement park versions of themselves. Despite some lovely cinematography here and there, it was the same basics: hotel, pool/beach/ocean/lake, casino, villain lair, big chase location. As bad as some of those films were, outer space got the worst treatment. The intensely stupid Moonraker (which, yes, has some nice effects sequences) hasn’t aged well at all thanks to science and physics that were ridiculous back in 1979. Sure, applying arbitrary rules of reality to any Bond film is a bad idea, but Moonraker starts off with a space shuttle being hijacked in midair, blasting off from the 747 carrying it and flying off into the night. That sort of stuff works only if you turn off your brain completely, then forget it happened so you can enjoy the rest of the movie. But the film drops in all sorts of silliness that by the time Jaws and his love at first sight girlfriend float away in a busted piece of space station, the inside of your skull is as scrambled as the eggs Bond likes for breakfast.

Which brings me to Skyfall and 007 Legends. I like the Daniel Craig Bond films, as they present a more realistic Bond who gets beaten about when he’s fighting for his life.  He’s also got his share of flaws that make him more human and yes, get on his bad side and he’ll shoot you because he really doesn’t like you. From the trailer, it seems that the new film presents Bond as suffering a bit from stress and not in the best mental shape, which is a nice touch that’s been building up since Casino Royale’s finale. What’s cool about 007 Legends is it’s taking the memorable moments from a few earlier Bond films (even the dopey Moonraker), adding the layer of polish developer Eurocom put into their GoldenEye remakes for the Wii, PS3 and 360 and setting players loose in cinematic action sequences that drop the drivel and concentrate on delivering the goods gamers expect.  Sure, the game won’t make up for the worse parts of the film, but at least you won’t need to sit through the movie again just to get to the “best” part.

More in a bit – A View To A Kill is coming up and I’ll have to see if I dislike it now as much as I did when I paid to see it back in 1985. I know the two Tim Dalton films were better than Moore’s last few, but I haven’t seen either in about ten years, so we shall see how well they’ve held up…