OK, I have a really good sense of humor and I’m a terrible non-prude, but I just HAVE to ask who decided to run these two dopey cartoons on the same day last week (and right above each other). Granted, I don’t read many newspapers much these days thanks to the lack of actual NEWS and focus on overly opinionated “journalists” (read: supremely loony egomaniacs) with an axe to grind trying to whittle anyone they see fit down to size that they don’t happen to like for whatever damn kooky reasons they’re wrong about if they got their heads out of the clouds and ass (amazing how they can do that, huh?) and actually wrote sans bile and other junk in their eyeballs.

But I digress (as usual)… Anyway, Gary Larson was at least regularly funny and stopped doing his fine work when he ran out of steam. These not-so great pretenders are good for a chuckle at best, but the retread rate has gone off the scale, I say. Of course, neither cartoon is really “offensive” at all…but what KID under ten has EVEN read Moby Dick? I guess everyone stares at boobies at some point, so maybe that one works on that level. I can’t tell, as I’m typing this in public and I was distracted… (*beet*… BUSTED!)…

Er, anyway – I’d bet a dime that a good percentage of readers saw that bottom cartoon and though it was a penis reference (as we all know too many of the little whippersnappers pick up slang from the darndest of places like their parents and the internet). Anyway, when I think Herman Melville’s classic work, I don’t think infantile humor at all… no, dear reader… my memories of that work are far, FAR more scarring (don’t say you weren’t warned):

Eh, it could be worse, I suppose. I could be trapped on a desert island with nothing but a year’s worth of Mallard Fillmore reprints to read. I’d rather have my eyes removed with melted Sporks.