Kitchen Nightmares V: Doing the Limbo for No Good Reason…

Let There (Not) Be LightBelieve it or not, my kitchen STILL isn’t done and for the life of me I can’t figure out why. Well, other than the management here in Parkchester being incredibly insensitive and frankly, virtually shiftless in responding to the basic needs of renters. Being put on hold or hung up on after a time, then being put back in line for repairs that should have been done right the first time around is bad enough. But having to reschedule appointments because the workers didn’t even do the job they were contracted to to correctly is just insanity. What’s the definition of insanity, folks?

Yeah, you know the rest…

Based on the slapdash work done in the kitchen and other rooms here, it almost seems as if they’re telling the maintenance folks to do as little as possible and pass this off as actual quality work because it’s become a common thing over time and a few management transitions. Do they really want this nice three-bedroom top floor corner apartment that’s been in the family since oh, about 1976 or ’77 SO badly that they’re willing to make it look worse to the point the current tenants flee in frustration? It sure as hell seems like it. Hmmm, I guess Yelp can be trusted for fair reviews after all? If this is even the tiniest bit true about what’s taking place in this apartment, it’s wrong, inhumane and needs to stop before someone gets sued and loses somewhat badly in court.

Or at least the court of public opinion. With all the stories I have to tell about this apartment alone, I’d hate to be doing PR for a place that claims “comfort and convenience are the hallmarks of every 1, 2 and 3 bedroom Parkchester home”. Given that no one could drop by for Thanksgiving this year and this Christmas may be a bust for company as well thanks to this nonsense, my own “comfort and convenience” levels are fully drained to the point of glaring laser eyes at every maintenance guy or gal I see walking around this place smiling and laughing away…

But hey, this is the place where they paint fences like this:

I'd call this a "bush league paint job", but decent puns aren't exactly my strong point...

I’d call this a “bush league paint job”, but decent puns aren’t exactly my strong point…

Where was I? Oh, right. Trying to explain what the heck is wrong with the “job” these guys have done over the phone like I had to do last Friday was a farce because without a visual, it just sounds like I’m making all this up. All they really needed to do was have someone step out of that comfortable office they lord it over us here from about three blocks away, walk on over, take the elevator up and look at this crappy plastering job. It looks as if sightless sloths did the deed and worse, it’s only more than clear the sloppiness means there’s going to mean MORE work down the road.

Anyway, want a laugh? here’s my current cooking setup:

kitchen night Oh wait, that’s with the flash ON. Here’s what it looks like at night when I get home and need to make dinner:

kitchen night (1)

Everybody sing along now! “Now it’s dark, mommy…”

 

That darkness is because the darn light fixture normally in the ceiling has still not been replaced thanks to the plastering not being completed despite what was supposed to be four days of work actually being more like one and a half days of incredibly poor “work”. Just how bad is the job done here? Well, let’s take a look, ladies and gentlemen:

 

There used to be a trim along the ceiling like this...

There used to be a trim along the ceiling like this…

Not Kidding Here (1)

But now… “It’s GONE, MacReady!”

And they wanted to just paint over THIS. Uh-nope. Not going to happen.

And they wanted to just paint over THIS. Uh-nope. Not going to happen.

What ever happened to people taking pride in their work and hell, just doing the damn job right the first time? Do it 100% right and I don’t have to bug you guys about fixing the same things in the future until it’s actually necessary. Keep doing sloppy work and guess what? I get to bug the hell out of you for anything that still needs to be repaired. Anyway, they tried to send some really nice guy to paint the place on Friday (he was refreshingly honest and easy to talk to), but I decided to not let that happen because the end result would have looked terrible and no one would have been happy when all was said and done. A call was put into the office to let them know the plasterers not only didn’t complete their work, it was SO poorly executed as to be offensive to anyone with the merest hint of decent eyesight.

Amusingly enough, as the plasterers stopped work around 2:30pm on Tuesday (they were supposed to work another day but didn’t show up AND they were late on the days they did do work) and as I thought they were coming back, I left them some notes:

This one's NUTS, as there's now a HOLE in the wall under the sink that wasn't there before. If they tell me to get a cat once I start seeing mice, I'm going to keel over laughing... or get a damn cat, meow.

This one’s NUTS, as there’s now a HOLE in the wall under the sink that wasn’t there before. If they tell me to get a cat once I start seeing mice, I’m going to keel over laughing… or get a damn cat, meow. I’m kind of allergic to some, so nope, that’s NOT an option, meow! Oh, and if that old wallboard has any asbestos in it, I’ll be the one on fire that needs to be put out, considering the annoying mess the abatement folks made of the kitchen when they did their job.

 

Up close, you can see the mesh from the wallboard used to replace the old wall. Whee, I have X-Ray vision! There's also now a DRAFT in the kitchen coming through the holes in the plastering "job" that was done. Hilarious. Unless you live here, of course.

Up close, you can see the mesh from the wallboard used to replace the old wall. Whee, I have X-Ray vision! There’s also now a DRAFT in the kitchen coming through the holes in the plastering “job” that was done. Hilarious. Unless you live here, of course.

 

This is below the mess above and that arrow points to an obvious hole and more holes along where it SHOULD be flush and relatively smooth. I'd prefer to have this sealed up so I can be a draft dodger, please.

This is below the mess above and that arrow points to an obvious hole and more holes along where it SHOULD be flush and relatively smooth. I’d prefer to have this sealed up so I can be a draft dodger, please.

 

If this were a TOm & Jerry cartoon, this loose piece of wall that was ignored would be where Jerry would make his entrance and escapes. Five minutes of work or less will fix this. I'll take the whole five minutes, please.

If this were a TOm & Jerry cartoon, this loose piece of wall that was ignored would be where Jerry would make his entrance and escapes. I’d bet five minutes or less of work will fix this. I’ll take the whole five minutes, please.

 

This is opposite the future home of Jerry (and I hope to hell he pays his share of the rent!). It's also below the hole under tie sink they somehow missed. I guess I shouldn't be surprised at all, huh? This would fall under "Now, you're just messing with me!" territory, but that actually goes to the missing in action wall trim and the ugly mess left behind they expected to slap a coat of paint on and call it a day...

This is opposite the future home of Jerry (and I hope to hell he pays his share of the rent!). It’s also below the hole under tie sink they somehow missed. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised at all, huh? This would fall under “Now, you’re just messing with me!” territory, but that actually goes to the missing in action wall trim and the ugly mess left behind they expected to slap a coat of paint on and call it a day…

 

Mash Notes (5) (Large)

This last note has arrows pointing to the now missing trim along the ceiling that extends about halfway around the room before going flush for a few feet with the ceiling where the wall was completely ripped out. It picks up again above a currently hot steam pipe. You wouldn’t normally see that missing trim at all unless you happen to have a stepladder. Guess who owns a stepladder? No, guess again. Riiiiiight! No, you don’t win a prize. It’s a good thing I have a sense of humor…

So, yeah… it’s a messier mess than expected that’s gone from a comedy of terror (asbestos!) to a comedy of errors to something stupidly serious thanks to the manner in which “maintenance” is done up this way. Sure, I can slightly sympathize with the fact that there are quite a lot of apartments in this complex (over 12,000) and many are in need of repair. On the other hand, given that asbestos was SUPPOSED to have been removed about what, nine or ten or so years back and suddenly last month there’s the finding of new old stuff in the kitchen here. Which has me wondering what about the rest of the apartments here, as “fireproof” was used as a selling point to renters.

Of course, between the piecemeal inspections, the leaks that never seem to be properly fixed (one fine day, I’ll post pics of my room and the one wall they can’t seem to get that pipe behind repaired despite knocking the wall down at least twice in twenty years due to flooding behind it) and other nonsense, this place is less “Home, Sweet Home” and more Sweet Home. Someone please let the keepers out of the well-kept asylum that is 2000 E. Tremont Avenue (and yes, those offices are beautiful!) so they can see how some of us in the other half are “living”. It’s tough to have pride in one’s home when the people paid to fix stuff in that home and others no longer have pride in their work. And I’m saying this as a former Union guy. Okay, enough of this – I need to find myself a more pleasant diversion. Oh, I have a LOAD more pictures to share of the awful job done to this place. I may need to post more if this week’s antics take a southern turn… we shall see…

Sus-pense!

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