Hmmm. So, the world did NOT end (well, for most of you) and I’ve heard that it seems to have ruined a few otherwise well-made doomsday plans. Hopefully you’re not one of those folks who was thinking of ending it all or that we’d go up in flames due to nuclear, planetary collision, zombie or some other sort of holocaust.  Because my snarky side (which has just activated – you’ve been warned) would kindly point you to the nearest window (even if you’re in a basement), then the clock on the wall and tell you to get to it already so we don’t have to hear you wailing about how that Mayan calendar was upside down and it’s NEXT year or when the Cubs win the Super Cup or when the next season of GIRLS begins because it’s a show made by the Devil himself. Whatever.

One of those MAY be true, by the way…

Anyway, coffee’s on, it’s quite strong – have a cup, now shut up (and listen): Next time, maybe pay attention in science class, ask questions of the teacher and not someone waving a smelly old tome full of choice fables who believes the earth isn’t older than the rocks and bones we somehow keep finding on and in it, I say.  Look, I don’t mind humoring you folks with that magical thinking with the occasional pleasant word or humble deed, but it’s time to get realistic about life in general. it’s time for a good think, a hot bath and some fresh ideas. Well, fresh for you, as I know the earth is round because I’ve been to the other side a few times.Of course if you’re NOT reading this because you’re hunkered away in your secluded bunker with five years’ supply of beans, SPAM and MRE’s, I’m at least hoping to heck you have proper ventilation in that shelter or else you’ll gas yourself worse than any enemy you think is coming. Forgot to buy five years worth of Beano, hmm?  Lucky you, the mall is still open.

OK, I’m not so mad at YOU per se. It’s the mentality that’s mind-numbing in its surety despite FACTS that can’t be ignored. I had to listen to some guy in my building and his “Are you ready for 2012?” speech too many times this year and when I happened to run into him today, he was all “Oh, erm, um, orm.. Uhhhh… maybe it’s not now, but that was just a drill!” about his being completely (but not fatally, and good for him, I guess) wrong. And I didn’t even say a word to him when our paths crossed. He just sputtered that out as he was walking into the building after me with his shopping cart loaded with fresh groceries. I just smiled, nodded, held the door open for him and went on with my business. Although, I DID let him go up in the elevator first and by himself. You know, just in case those Mayans were right…

Anyway, we’re all still here, so carry on and on and if you’re going to die, well dammit – drop dead doing something you actually LOVE doing, I say.