Ho-kay. The story behind this particular post is twofold. One: I’m part of a recently created Facebook (eek) group called The Write Now and this was Writing Prompt 5: “Now, you’re probably wondering why I’ve gathered you all here…”, and as you’ll see, I had no idea either…

Anyway, I think this took about 15 minutes to write and it was about 4:30 or so in the morning when I did this. Yeah, I should have been asleep, but I was up and doing some research for an article and a bit on the half asleep side when Old Nick posted that prompt. That’s why the letters don’t “speak” more in words starting with them. I didn’t roll that in until… well, you’ll see soon enough.

Two: I misplaced a portable drive with a bunch of stuff I was working on, so I’m buying myself some time by posting random quickies while I poke around for that darn thing. I REALLY hate rewriting stuff (oh, you don’t know how much, but it’s quite a great deal of dislike), so if I don’t find it, I get to do a lot of internal grouching while I go into recovery mode and try to come up with stuff that reads the same as it’s supposed to.

Pull up a seat, as it’s kind of long and silly…

SCENE 104: Brain, Inside Thought Assembly Hall, Approximately 5:03:29am

Voice on Speaker: “Now, you’re probably wondering why I’ve gathered you all here…”

Letter A: “Aw, man! it’s too damn early in the morning!”
Letter B: “BE QUIET! This is probably important, stupid!”
Letter C: “Crap- he just wanted to be first to chime in as usual…”

Voice On Speaker: “Alright, Alright! Break it up, NOW!” The purpose for this meeting is the keeper can’t sleep and needs to think up some story or whatever, and…”

Letter D: “Damn! I thought we were gonna DRAW something cool again! I like it when that happens!
Letter E (sighing): Exciting as that may be, my dear… you DO know none of us are actually involved in that particular process?
Letter F: “Fools! We need to pay attention or we may not get used this time!”

Letter G (chuckles loudly): “Go find X and let him know his services will NOT be required this time out (snickers)!”

Voice on Speaker (sarcastically): “Are we quite finished yet? Anyone else want to chime in before I blow a vessel and start dropping consonants?

Letter H: “HEY! That’s not right! You do that and some of us will be forgotten forever!”
Letter I: “Impossible. Even if there’s some memory loss, all of us will still be around!”

Voice on Speaker (sound of a hard facepalm): “Gaaaah…”

Letter J: “Joking around at THIS hour? I was having a really fantastic dream…”
Letter K: “King of the letters again, huh? Heh-Heh… yeah, you wish! A would be after your ass in a heartbeat!”
Letter L: “Lovely. Let’s line up and linger longer until later… like lunchtime!”
Letter M: “Mother, please make it STOP!” Look, do you always HAVE to do that inane thing with yourself? ALL the friggin’ time! Pervert!”

Voice on Speaker (sighs deeply): “Ooooooo-K… Anyone else have anything to offer? Speak now, or forever hold your…”

Letter N: “Nope. Nothing, Nada. Nil. None. Nein!”
Letter O (rolls eyes at N): “Oh, Brother… what a clown.”
Letter P: “Please, can we just get this over with? I didn’t have time for a cup of coffee and I’m about to keel over!”
Letter Q: “QUIET! “We all didn’t have time for anything – it was an emergency drill, remember?”
Letter R: Rrrrreally? I didn’t hearrrrr any bell. I just (wait for it…) rrrrrrrrolled out of bed like I always do, brrrrrrright and earrrrrly!”
Letter S: Stupid, you can’t roll yourself in EVERRRRRY word you’rrrre in! Shit, now you’ve got ME doing it!”
Letter T (yawning): “Time for breakfast yet? I need a bagel with cheesecake” (yawns again, droops to one side)
Letter U: “Um… like, YUK. You mean cream cheese? I hope…”
Letter V: Verily and forsooth, we must pay closer attention to the guiding voice lest we be consigned to a fate worse than death!”
Letter W: “What the hey is up with that accent, V? Oh, right, right… you were in that note about Shakespeare last…”

Voice on Speaker: “…Peace. Oh, screw this – I need a drink!” (storms off to find a bottle)

Letter X: “Xerography of previous writings would probably be of great assistance at this point. Even Xerxes had better battle plans…”
Letter Y: “You all know you’re absolutely crazy, right, Z? Z?? Z!!! Oh, what the… AGAIN?!”
Letter Z: “ZZZzzzzz!”

Voice on Speaker (slightly drunk): “Will somebody PLEASE wake up Z! Oh… Mxyltyplyx… Look, just forget it, guys… FORGET IT! I think this will have to do for now… *hic!* Dismissed!!!”

Assorted Numbers and Punctuation symbols from the back of the hall: “HEY! WE DIDN’T GET TO SPEAK!!!”

Voice on Speaker: “*Hic!* Oh, really? Yeah, well… you may want to check the minutes, dummies. Yeah, you all go do just that… me, I’m going to go drink myself into a stupor and pass the hell out…”