So, I’m riding down in the elevator here about a week or so ago and to my right are a pair of women of indeterminate age with a boy of about seven or eight years old who just so happened to be wearing a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles t-shirt. By the way, one never guesses how old a lady is because that usually leads to a spike heel to the eardrum or other soft bits. Especially if you get her age right on the first try. But I digress. The women were talking about holiday gifts for their family members and when asked what he wanted, the kid let out a simple “Turtles! I want turtles!”
Now, as some of us adults tend to be fairly one dimensional thinkers when it comes to what people say (specifically what those ankle-nibbling wee people just below waist level or lower say), let’s just say the response the little nipper got was less than positive. In other words, they thought he wanted some actual turtles (which aren’t easy to take care of) and weren’t thinking enough along his interest level (or looking down at his colorful shirt). Moms can be weird sometimes like that, right?
Of course, I bet myself a brand new penny (but NOT a brand new pony as I’ve not the space for one) I had a good clue what would make him bounce up and down on Christmas morning thanks to another box that popped up day earlier from Playmates Toys. Inside were two of their cool Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Half-Shell Heroes figures (MSRP $8.99 each), which I did not have with me in that elevator so I could wave both packs in front of those two ladies and give them a better idea of outside the box (er, shell?) thinking. With Leo and Donnie above (both dressed in prehistoric plastic cave-wear) and those two super-cute dinosaurs (a nice bonus because EVERYONE loves dinosaurs for one reason or another), plus over 20 more figures to collect, I’d say that kid would be grinning ear to ear so much come Christmas morning that a bow would be needed to hold the top of his head on.
The good thing is one of those ladies of indeterminate age did look down just as the elevator hit the main floor and noticed his shirt. “Oh, you mean THOSE turtles?” she said (and you could hear the light bulb above her head click on). “Well, we’ll think about it.” Yeah, moms are the ginchiest, aren’t they? That’s a compliment, by the way. Insulting ladies of indeterminate age with words they don’t know is a good way to get a spike heel to the eardrum or other soft bits.
Go buy your kid some TMNT Half-Shell Heroes, please. And also go follow Playmates Toys on one or all of their social networks:
That is all. Oh yeah, be nice to every lady of indeterminate age you meet. Or else.
– Greg Wilcox