Random Film of the Week(end): Camel Spiders

Camel Spiders DVD CoverOkay, I was bored, annoyed and in the mood for something stupid to waste about an hour and a half or so. That sort of opening line is usually reserved for someone confessing to a crime of some sort. But it was my excuse for sitting down last night to watch Camel Spiders, a 2011 direct to video “B” flick so laughable and intentionally awful that it made me forget about most of the stuff bugging me.

Initially, just seeing the title made me laugh enough to want to check it out and see if it was as cheesy as it sounded. But it wasn’t until about 2/3 of the way in that I remembered that “Camel Spiders” are real, really large and have a somewhat larger following. Well, I’m sure those so-called fans would run the other way (and right into a wall) if they came across one or more of these eight-legged freaks in real life. Unlike too many of the victims in this dopey film who just stand there and get attacked or approach those puppy-sized pests with curiosity that just gets them killed off quickly… Continue reading

Mad Max: Fury Road Trailer: Hardy to the End!

If you somehow thought director George Miller lost his knack for making wildly kinetic action flicks, this new trailer for the upcoming Mad Mad: Fury Road should spin your head around a few times. Granted, it’s only a trailer and yes, trailers tend to be not much like the actual film at all or worse, show all the good parts and leave some viewers wanting their money back once those end credit roll.

mad_max_fury_road_ver6_xlg
 

That said, let’s give Miller the benefit of the doubt and hope this film is closer to the magnificence of The Road Warrior and not the oddball-ness of Beyond Thunderdome. As usual, we shall see. If the film stinks (and I think it won’t), I’ll just get my pair of toecutters and get George on the horn. Or just catch it when it hits cable for the repeat play thing…

Hikari Friday: Funko Gives You A Ghost of a Chance This Week!

HIkari Premium logo
 

Only ONE Funko Hikari Sofubi Vinyl figure up for this week’s giveaway, but there’s also the announcement of a limited edition figure you can run out and buy from Hot Topic, of all places. The freebie chance first: It’s #1 of 1500 this time and it’s a ghost you’d not want to bust at all because you’d be covered head to toe in icky marshmallow goop that’s probably a wee bit too hot to be sitting on your tender skin. Say hello to Ice Stay Puft Premium Hikari Sofubi Figure:

Funko Ice Stay Puft Premium Hikari Sofubi Figure 

Yes, you should be nice to him or he’ll get mad and grow on you! Well, that would be a good thing under non-ghostly un-possessed marshmallow man conditions. But you know the drill if you’ve seen Ghostbusters, right? Anyway, if you want a chance to win this one, hit up one of Funko’s social media sites:

http://www.facebook.com/OriginalFunko
http://www.twitter.com/OriginalFunko
Instagram @OriginalFunko

Follow the rules there and hold you breath for a week. Well, don’t REALLY hold your breath for that long, now. Otherwise, you’ll be dead and with some real ghosts only to find out there’s NO Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man, only lonely moans and dirges playing every damned day and night. BOOooooooOOOOooooo! ALso, if you don’t win this time, you ca always buy that big guy at your favorite Funko retailer.

As for that other Hikari Vinyl? Attention Hot Topic shoppers! Be on the lookout for Retro Pastels Stay Puft Hikari Premium Sofubi Figure coming soon to a HT near you and online at HotTopic.com. Check him out and feel the rainbow love:

Funko Retro Pastels Stay Puft Hikari Premium Sofubi Figure 

Obvious jokes about marshmallows on mushrooms aside, I can see this one becoming a hot topic of conversation as only 500 will be made before the mold is melted. Keep and eyeball peeled and get yours soon!

Terminator: Genisys – Yeah, He’s BACK (Again)…

Terminator Genisys Banner

(Thanks, Arnold!) 

terminator_genisys_teaser_posterWell, I guess it’s as good a time as ever to note that when I first heard Arnold was doing another Terminator flick, I think I broke something laughing. Of course, we’re at the point in visual effects tech that the best and brightest can make anything or anyone real look like a CG effect and here’s living proof of that coming to a theater near you next year. Actually, the plot makes it sound like a reboot that’s burning the candle at both ends with the return of Kyle Reese, Sarah Conner and a few other elements from James Cameron’s original two flicks. Of course, the film should benefit from Alan Taylor‘s direction, as his Game of Thrones work is pretty strong.

Granted, other than more plastics and metals there’s not much of a difference between the gritty filth of Westeros and the gritty radioactive filth of the future setting here (and the gritty filthy present the characters will end up in). But if the film can capture all that made the first two Terminator movies so special, this one may do well outside the blockbuster-fed crowds that will rush out to see it when it finally opens next July.

On the other hand, if this flick slips up in any way, shape or form in the plot or tosses in too much for the modern “Wait, what just happened?” crowd who need stuff constantly explained to them, it may tank out after a month because word of mouth hit it harder than a T-1000 slapping Arnold with a sledgehammer. Balance is the key to success, I’m betting. And I’m also betting the home video version will pack in scenes that get left on the cutting room floor because that’s the trend these days. Anyway, that’s two formerly successful franchises making a comeback in 2015, so between this reboot/remake with a twist and Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens, it’s the 1980’s all over again.

And yeah – that’s both a good thing and a not so good thing…


 

Blackhat Trailer: Time For Paranoid Mann to Make An Appearance…


 
Just what we needed, yet another reason to hate computers, the internet and hell, anything tech-like that you push a button on that does something useful. Well, it’s Michael Mann behind the camera, so that means the film will be dense and interesting for sure. My problem is Hollywood blows the hacking thing badly every time they try, no matter who makes a movie or TV show. Hell, if computers all made those funky noises like they do in these films and shows when something weird is going on, we’d all know when someone was poking around in our private stuff. Anyway, Blackhat is out in February, provided the world doesn’t end thanks to evil hackers in some unnamed country taking down the internet and stealing all your money so you can’t afford the cost of a movie ticket. Yaaaaah! Stupid internet.

Kitchen Nightmares III: Holding Patterns (and Who Can I Sue If I Drop Dead of Starvation?)…


 

So, the kitchen here still hasn’t been returned to its normal state, but the work is set to begin on December 5th. The stove can still be used, but once the sun goes down, you’re taking your life in your hands if you try to chop anything in the kitchen. Sure, I can sit in the living room and get all rustic with a cutting board in my lap or on the coffee table, but there’s something so odd about doing this (and yeah, one slip means I’ll be adding a body part to whatever I’m cooking). I’ll have to bug the management here about some sort of cooking/meal solution once the repair/rebuilding work gets underway. Once it starts, the kitchen will be off limits for at least four days straight and then a few days more after a weekend break. Bleh. I hope to hell they don’t think I’ll be ordering out or eating fast food for all that time, as that’s not a good idea for me for a few reasons.

(Thanks, SeriouslyDead!)
 

Feh, at this point I just want this long national nightmare to be over so I can go back to living like a normal person. Maybe I’ll slap on some zombie makeup and start groaning at the workmen when they show up to spur them to get the job done faster. Then again, the lack of craftsmanship and care here is pretty shocking. The team that removed the asbestos from the kitchen had a fat guy who busted the burners on the stove AND chipped the paint on the stove because he stood on them when he was doing the ceiling. Gyahhh. I despise that sort of idiocy. Okay, let me go lie down before I bust something.

Star Wars: The Force Awakens Teaser: Turning the Internet Into Hype-Our-Space…

Star Wars The Force Awakens TC 

Well, color me interested, but not quite yet convinced. This teaser for Star Wars: The Force Awakened is too short, but it looks as if the effects teams have been hard at work with over a year to go. Or at least they’ve just done up scenes for this trailer that show they’re on the case and not planning to blow it:

(Thanks, Star Wars UK!) 

I have no questions as of yet other than wondering who’s flying the Millennium Falcon in that short clip and why that yet to be revealed dark Jedi has the second most impractical lightsaber I’ve ever seen. But I can wait for that reveal in some other trailer. I’m gathering this one movie will have the most teasers and trailers released for it of anything coming in 2015 just because Disney wants to show that the Star Wars license is in good hands. I didn’t think so when I heard the news and soon enough, saw Mickey ears on a Darth Vader helmet (wtf?) and I think Goofy dressed up as Darth as a plush doll (yikes!). But I’ll pay less attention to the licensing on this film because there will be THOUSANDS of new products coming to rake in the dough from the rubes and all I want to see is a decent new film in this series.

December 2015 will be here sooner than you think, given the way time has flown this year. I may be too ancient to fall for marketing and merchandising tactics, but I’ll see this if it’s as entertaining as the original was. I’m also holding out for the trailer where J.J. has people jumping off something high, as next to lens flare overuse it’s a trademark in all his films for some oddball reason. As usual, we shall see, right?

Jurassic World Trailer: Pre-Hysterical Projections Incoming…

Well, I guess Universal Studios and Legendary Pictures couldn’t wait after all. Or they very wisely figured out that at 9am PST or Noon Eastern time, people would either be on the way to grandma’s, sticking their heads in ovens to take out turkeys and pies or whatever, or passed out cold on a sofa from that big breakfast they’ve eaten before the bigger feast coming that would put them in a deeper temporary coma. Anyway, this first Jurassic World trailer hits all the proper notes. Which means I need to make fun of it in my own inimitable manner…

Continue reading

Tuesday’s Mild (Not Really)…

(thanks, DonFabrizio!) 

Well, it’s supposed to be messy tomorrow, weather-wise (snow, rain, sleet, no Santy Claus), so I’m preparing by waking up with a massive headache, taking too long to get out and about and figuring out how much catching up I need to be doing on a bunch of work. Well, it’s not all pain and suffering here, folks. I did get a nice item to review in the post yesterday, so that will be keeping me occupied for a tiny bit. As I’m not doing anything for Thanksgiving (still no kitchen here and the recently scraped ceiling is peeling!), I’ll see if I can get a post or two up at some point from an undisclosed location. Or hell, one that has working wi-fi (shakes fist at Starbucks and their slower than should be tolerable or not working at all connections).

Okay, enough griping – I have stuff to do. My headache is gone, at least.

You’ll Find Out: Yet Another Oddball Film I Need to See!

(Thanks, Sleaze-O-Rama!)
 

You'll Find Out_MPHa. I’d never heard of this 1940 comedy until about a month ago when someone asked me if I’d seen it. I hadn’t, noted to myself to look it up and forgot about it thanks to the stupid time I’ve been having on a few fronts keeping me from being very much entertained. Anyway, in my inbox this afternoon was the trailer above and I got pulled right into wanting to know more.

What a cast! Boris Karloff, Béla Lugosi, Peter Lorre… and Kay Kyser & his band? Yeah, I laughed a lot at the casting here. And if I’m not mistaken, the band and bandleader are the heroes here. Oh, this one’s going on the “gotta watch it!” list for sure. Well, I’m gathering I’ll need to haunt TCM and see when it turns up again. It’s usually the case when I hear about an oldie like this they have in their library that it runs less than a week or so later. Mood lightened considerably? You betcha.