Alien Outpost: It’s Independent’s Day For This Sci-Fi Flick In January…

AlienOutpost_poster 

Gallery StillsJabbar Raisani’s upcoming Alien Outpost may not be doing anything new with the “evil space aliens invade Earth” storyline, but for an indie film, it sure has some nifty visual effects. Granted, the beefy alien “Heavies” almost look too videogame inspired, but the rest of the CGI work is fine enough to carry the illusion of all hell breaking loose on an Earth under-prepared  for such shenanigans. That said, it seems the story of Outpost 37 and its soldiers struggling to survive the alien threat will find an audience looking to cheer its high points and rally those troops during the low ones.

Will it be as fun to watch as Independence Day and its mix of dead seriousness and comedic elements were back in 1996? We shall see. But IFC Midnight is at least committed to bringing out these genre films on a regular basis that are usually worth a watch for genre fans looking for a fix. Check out the trailer, cast and plot description below:

 

ALIEN OUTPOST
In Select Theaters on January 30th, 2015

Two documentary cameramen embedded in an army unit in the most hostile place on earth, an outpost surrounded by the last remaining alien fighters (Heavies) of an invading attack force. The world may have forgotten about the Outposts, but the Heavies are planning the second invasion of Earth and the soldiers are the only ones who can stop it.

Cast: Adrian Paul, Rick Ravanello, Reiley McClendon, Douglas Tait, Joe Reegan & Matthew Holmes
Directed by: Jabbar Raisani
Written by: Blake Clifton, Jabbar Raisani
Genre: Action/Sci-Fi
Distributor: IFC Midnight

The Entire Screen of One Game: Life Imitates Games…

The Entire Screen of One GameSo, yes indeed plus tax, my week has been crushing on a few fronts (starting with the kitchen nightmare now going on for over a MONTH. Who’da thunk it? Me, grrrrr!). But at least I’m taking it more or less in stressful stride. Anyway, I got a massive laugh earlier today thanks to someone sending me a link to a “game” that intentionally can’t be beaten no matter what your skill level is.

The words “You can’t win the game. It exists only to destroy your mind.”, prod you to play this browser game, more likely than not with a defiant gleam in your eye and a steady hand on the keyboard. Controls are dirt simple: move with the left and right arrow keys and jump with the Space bar.  Of course, this is easier said than done as you’ll see in most likely under a minute that truer words have never been spoken about this game being mind destroying. Well, unless you’re also talking about life in general, of course. Ha and ha-ha.

The Entire Screen of One Game 2Created for the Ludum Dare a 48-hour competitive game jam that takes place at least thrice yearly, Tom Murphy (or Tom7) went and cooked up the more than aptly titled The Entire Screen of One Game for this December’s Ludum theme of Entire Game on One Screen. A simple platform jumping game that turns into a lesson in… um, something,

I laughed within about five seconds as the game quickly changed from a simple platformer to one that in no way shape or form could be beaten by conventional means. Of course, this won’t stop some hard-heads out there who refuse to let any game get the better of them. To those hardy souls with too much time on their hands, I wish the best of luck. To those non-gamers who just want a unique and always transforming digital art piece, I say enjoy the view and maybe move those squares around a bit just to change up things every so often. Oh, and retro visuals aside, this one will require a fast computer and decent modern browser. You’ll soon see why (he says, cackling madly)…

“Better Call Saul” Poster: Well, He’s the One on the Phone…

Better Call Saul Poster 

Ha. This nice promotional poster for AMC’s post-Breaking Bad prequel, Better Call Saul made me chuckle for a few reasons, but the key one might not be so amusing. That pic could be Bob Odenkirk NOT on the horn with his agent at a phone he told him to expect a call at about him doing another show other than this one. Now, I’m not saying it’s going to tank at all, kids. In fact, I’ll be watching each episode with bated breath and probably on the edge of my seat thanks to Vince Gilligan’s fine writing (and writing team) and whomever is set to direct the first season’s scripts.

I’m just somewhat amused that if it does run for a few years, the makeup budget to keep Saul looking five years younger than he was on Breaking Bad (which shot its last episode something like two years ago) will probably end up exceeding the budgets of some student and indie film projects. Okay, I thought it was funny. Well, that double part premiere isn’t until February 8 and 9, 2015, so I guess Saul and Bob can work on any gray hairs growing between now and when the reviews roll in. Those handful of clips certainly are pretty amusing, that’s for sure…

THE FLY: Outbreak – IDW Invokes Cronenberg, So It Better Be Worthy…

The Fly Outbreak IDW (Custom) 

Hmmm. As a David Croneberg fan, I get the shaky eyebrow whenever someone uses his name to sell a project, particularly one linked to one of his better major studio horror films. That said, I’ll give IDW Publishing a bit of a break (wrist or ankle – see the film and you’ll get a chuckle from that, I hope) for its upcoming five-part miniseries THE FLY: Outbreak. While the press release isn’t giving much away in terms of the plot, if what’s below is done up correctly, it just may work for even the most jaded fan of the film. To wit:

Years ago, a scientist had a horrific accident when he tried to use his newly invented teleportation device and became a human/fly hybrid. Now his almost-human son continues to search for a cure for the mutated genes. But a breakthrough turns into a breakout, and anyone exposed risks turning into a monster as well…

Now, to me, that sounds like a mix of 1959’s Return of the Fly and the not at all needed 1989 sequel to Cronenberg’s film, The Fly II, but in what’s looking to be more the capable hands of writer Brandon Seifert (Hellraiser, Witch Doctor) and artist menton3 (Silent Hill, Monocyte).

The Fly Outbreak IDW R1 Cover 

Of course, this got me wondering if Cronenberg’s idea for a “sequel” that’s been in limbo for a few years (studio politics at work again, whee!) is finally going to see the light of day and the green light that means he can shoot the damn thing. I didn’t even think that a proper sequel or remake was even possible, but I trust Cronenberg to always shake things up and deliver the unexpected. But I guess let’s have this IDW book hit the stands and see how it sells first before buzzing about anything else that lands on movie screens a few years down the pike…

SCIENCE! Nintendo Helps Learn You a Lesson To-day…

Nintendo World Water 004 (Large) And now, a tiny little science lesson for all you boys and girls out there. Now, now. Don’t run away! This is an easy lesson. Those pics above are the results of me storing a couple of water bottles from the Nintendo World Store grand opening at room temperature for nine years. *Boo!*  But also *yay!*  Oh, why am I so conflicted, ladies and gents? Because it’s SCIENCE in action, folks! Okay, well… I would have stored them in the fridge here, but let’s see now… I had a few more of those bottles and DID store them in the fridge here only to find out a bit more about how people work.

Nintendo World Water 001 (Large) Nintendo World Water 002 (Large)

You see, boys and girls, some people tend to come by to visit for a spell, look in your fridge and take stuff out to drink if you let them do so. For some of these people, small and unimportant looking bottles of water seem to be a magnet. I’d gather that some of those people didn’t want to seem greedy or imposing, so they went for the smallest thing they saw. An odd thing indeed, as I’m a pretty damn generous guy who doesn’t care what you take out of the fridge. Well, provided it’s not a bottle of water that’s hard to replace.

So, yeah… that wasn’t the best idea I’ve ever had in terms of a storage solution and Plan B didn’t work out so well either. Oh well. science is fun, though, isn’t it?

Some Games for Your Mad Monday, Mister or Missus?

Yeah, you know the drill by now. Sometimes you absolutely need a pleasant diversion on a manic Monday, so here’s some of what’s up on a few of the usual bundle selling suspects you should be frequenting regularly because they have deals you just can’t pass up:

IndieGala EMB 12152014 IndieGala Every Monday Sale: Six games for ONLY a measly $1.89? How DO they do it? Well, no matter because it’s always a great deal even if you only actually play one or two of the games you buy. This week gets you some adventure games, a strategy game, a hidden object game and more fun all for a song. I’ll bet you that $1.89 that you’ll be happy with at least one of those games…

Bundle Stars LOTR BundleBundle Stars has a small army of The Lord of the Rings games in this week’s bundle, so get ready for the silliness of two LotR games and their DLC and the straight up seriousness of War in the North and the online only competitive madness that is Guardians of Middle Earth. To paraphrase one Gandalf the Grey, “YOU SHALL NOT PASS (this offer up)!” A ha and ha-ha. Okay, enough with the puns, as I don’t want the Eyebrow of Sauron to raise itself any higher than it’s gotten after reading that last line.

On Sony: Oh, Baloney!

Sony logo 

The Gossips (Norman Rockwell)Someone asked me last week what I thought about the recent Sony hack (allegedly from North Korean hackers upset about an upcoming movie) and I told him I’d have to get back to him on that because I wasn’t following the story at all. Well, I wasted a half hour looking it up and can safely say a hearty “Who Cares?” springs to mind.

I’d bet you a whole penny that EVERY entertainment company on the planet is stocked with executives behaving badly who say nasty things about people they know, don’t know or don’t care about after they leave their sight. Big deal. The fact that news organizations are bending over backwards to churn out daily updates on who said what about whom and how “bad” it all is in mind-blowing to me because it’s not only OLD news, it’s something anyone and everyone (who’s not a bald-faced liar) has done to someone else they’ve worked for or with… Continue reading

Holiday Gift Guide 2014: Altec Lansing Life Jacket

Altec Lansing Life Jacket HGG 2014A few days ago, I was laughing while a speaker floating in my bathtub blasted assorted tunes as water splashed around it. Nope, it wasn’t another repair nightmare taking place, but Altec Lansing’s waterproof Life Jacket Bluetooth Speaker ($149.99 MSRP), one of which I got to review. It certainly nails the waterproof thing to a T, but how does it sound outside the pool or tub? We’ll get to that below the jump. Continue reading

Kitchen Nightmares VI: Wood Work and More Oddball Occurrences…

Now It's Dark, tooSo, they sent a carpenter today instead of a plasterer… but that was actually a good thing. It turns out that most of the fault lies in the overall incompetence, laziness and just not listening to what tenants are saying folks who answer the phones in the management office. According to the carpenter, they pretty much just sit around and talk about reality TV for the bulk of the day and those work orders they write up from half listening are often incorrect.

Which of course means workers showing up to do jobs with the wrong equipment or being thrown under the bus by the office because they have to deal with irate tenants who’ve been sitting around waiting for scheduled appointments that can’t be completed. There are also a bunch of newer maintenance guys and gals who aren’t very good at what they do because they’re still being trained, but there seems to be not enough of the old guard around to walk them through what they need to know. That’s how we get painted leaves and some sketchy plastering and painting jobs around here.

There’s a lot of other crap going on as well, but it all boils down to the folks who run this place wanting to keep making a profit even at the cost of current renters being given the shaft. There are also politics involved and a lot of it the usual dumb stuff that always results in the bad apples being rousted and roasted in public once their plans are foiled and the truth rises to the top. Noe of which I care much about because I just want my damn kitchen back to 100%. That carpenter made up a short list of stuff he saw that needed to be done as we chatted for about 20 minutes or so before leaving. Another call was placed to the office and they’re supposed to send what seems like the sole inspector they have in the complex here in a few days (Thursday) so he can take another look around. Yep, the notes I left are still up and will stay up so he can see what needs fixing. Hopefully this time stuff gets done right, but we’ll see. At this point, I’d be happy for at least an acknowledgement that the place is clearly in worse shape after what’s been going on, but again, we shall see…

Enough of This Stupid Sunday. Let’s Go Dancing!

(Thanks, Swudanst Harlow!)
 

Sure, why not? A little freshly made bathtub gin (wooo!), maybe a few attempts to do the Charleston without looking too dumb flailing around, maybe a burger later at a cheap diner? Yeah, I could go for some of that action tonight. Who’s with me? (Checks wallet, moths flit out)… Er, you’d be buying this time because I’ve just blown all my cash on lighting up the kitchen floor like an airline runway. Hey, how about this? Just come on over with a pound of ground and I’ll make the burgers. Oh, and bring some buns with you as well. I’ll toast them up for those patties nice and warm. I’ve got an onion left and the old cast iron pan got a good seasoning on it earlier this week, so those burgers will be extra tasty. What, you want to being those big portabella you get from the farmer’s market instead? Sure, fine – that’s probably even better and healthier. So, sure, why not?

I’ll be here and up a bit late, thanks to needing to make those signs I posted for the plasterer a bit bigger. You know, just in case they send a new guy to do the plaster job who’s got worse eyesight than the last two. Better safe than sorry, right? Now, hurry up and get on over here – I’m getting hungry and I just pressed a pair of pants! Okay, I was sitting on them for the last hour, but same result once I put them on and stand up. Oh, I have mustard and ketchup too. I might need some more coffee, though. It seems to magically disappears around here like someone’s eating it right out of the can. I hope it not a mouse or anything like that. I don’t need a hopped up rodent around here jazzed on java keeping me up all night…

(Mystery Rodent): Wooooo!